bayside chateau

OMG, I Want to Rent That House: Key Biscayne, Florida

OMG, I Want to Rent This House spotlights the most spectacular and unique homes that you can actually stay in.

Key Biscayne, FL (Vrbo): We know what you’re thinking: the cold weather is setting in, you’re feeling that chill, and it’s been 10 full weeks since Labor Day brought your summer holiday season to a very rude halt. What you desperately need, you’re thinking, is a beach vacation. And the paradise of which you dream? A giant modern glass-and-white box in the exclusive Florida enclave of Key Biscayne. We’ve donned our floppiest sun hats and biggest statement sunnies and are here for everything this bayside chateau has to offer.

Fine art is great and all (who are we kidding, our dream is to turn our tiny apartment into a tastefully edgy museum), but this room shows that, even if you do have $7.5k to drop every night on your vacation rental, there’s no need to cover every white wall with the best Sotheby’s has to offer when every single room has a view of the water. That’s natural art, baby, and it’s never the same two days in a row.

These gorgeous photos should be enough to leave any sane person salivating for a Florida trip, despite some of the latest questionable news out of the state. But if you need confirmation that this waterfront villa is an A-list rental, travel back in time no further than late July when soccer superstar Lionel Messi chose this retreat for his family’s summer vacation.

Dedicated readers of this column will know that we are always in favor of putting your pool directly next to a natural body of water. Not only does it ensure that you can float with a view, but it’s always good to keep things competitive when it comes to where you spend your water leisure time.

It also makes it easier to activity hop. If you want a little more action than what you see during a day spent on your pool floaty, then hop into Biscayne Bay with the home’s complimentary kayak or canoe and race the local super yachts.

Key Biscayne is already a premier enclave—it’s the relaxing natural paradise to nearby Miami’s lively nightlife. But this home earns double exclusive status: it’s located in the elite area of Mashta Island on the already exclusive island of Key Biscayne.

The home has five bedrooms that sleep eight, though we must note that, in order to really embody the poshness of your surroundings, you should make it known early and loudly that you are not someone who “bunks up” while on vacation.

The pool—which can be heated—is located on an upper deck, which leaves plenty of open air space in the covered area below for dining and lounging in the shade.

Key Biscayne may be all about the peaceful, rural vibe thanks to two state parks and your classic sandy beaches decked out in palm trees, but that doesn’t mean the interior decor of the homes on the island adopt the same point of view. Case in point, the designer furniture and fine art in this waterfront villa.

In the mood to rock? Of course, this house has you covered. And if you happen to be a world-famous rocker already, the house also has that covered thanks to a state of the art security system. (You doubt us? Just give Mr. Messi a call.)

While you’re imagining taking a long soak in the tub after hours of vegging out, it’s the perfect time to let you know that there are plenty of indoor activities for those days when you overdue it in the sun. We’re looking at you pool table and game room.

We love it when we can watch the boat action without leaving our beds.

You could use the in-home gym, or take a note from Messi’s playbook and get your sweat on while playing a rowdy game of keep-away with your favorite fellow vacationers. Hey, the latter option is clearly working for Messi.

It’s not just soccer stars who have found their bliss on this little island. The list of celebs who currently or formerly enjoyed homes here includes Brad Pitt, Cher, Richard Nixon (whose Key Biscayne home was known as the “Florida White House”), and Andy Garcia.

The only thing better than a vast deck is one that encircles your home so that no open-air view goes wasted. All in all, we’d say the $7,500 per night price tag is worth it, though if you’re looking for a deal, opt to book by the month and kick that price tag to a round $200k. We’re (almost) sure you’re worth it.

Book Your Stay: Waterfront Villa, Key Biscayne, FL, $7,500/night via Vrbo

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Allison McNearney

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