SMASHING

Pete Hegseth Performs Bizarre Fruit Ritual as War Rages in Middle East

The Defense Secretary found a unique way to wait out Trump’s two-week timeframe to decide what to do in Iran.

Defense Secretary Pete Hegseth engaged in the ritualistic sacrifice of a watermelon on Friday. As tensions between Israel and Iran escalate in a conflict threatening to pull the rest of the world in, the head of the United States Department of Defense made a juice offering on the Pentagon’s Parade Field. Hegseth was there to meet with Coca-Cola 600 champion rally driver Ross Chastain. Chastain, who is descended from an eight-generation line of watermelon farmers in Southern Florida, took the opportunity to teach Hegseth and his family—including wife Jenny and their seven kids—the ways of his iconic melon demolition. Chastain smashes watermelons after every win as a means of paying tribute to his family’s legacy. “To be able to smash watermelons here near the front steps of the Pentagon is something my family will talk about for the rest of time,“ Chastain told reporters. ”To do that is a once-in-a-lifetime experience. I don’t think any other fruit has been out here!” “The guy who started last in that race ended first,” Hegseth said of Chastain’s Memorial Day victory. “It was an awesome Memorial Day Weekend—honoring the troops, remembering those who’d given it all. And as Ross Chastain won the race, I thought, ‘we’ve got to win [at the Pentagon].’”

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Jack RevellNight Reporter

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