If you can't have Charlie Sheen on your sitcom, why not go for the next best thing— Emilio Estevez. Though hardly the wild man his younger brother is, Emilio certainly looks enough like Charlie to pull off a respectable long-lost-brother storyline. One tiny obstacle? Hardcore fans of Two and a Half Men may recall that Emilio guest-starred on the 2008 episode "The Devil's Lube" as a womanizing friend of Charlie's who dies while visiting.
Jorge Herrera
Several days into the Sheen-CBS standoff, reports circulated that the network was already wooing sitcom veteran John Stamos to replace Charlie on Two and a Half Men. Though the beloved Full House star (and current Glee regular) quickly debunked the idea with a clever tweet—contrary to the rumors, i am not replacing charlie sheen on two and half men. however, martin sheen has asked me to be his son—Charlie did not take too kindly to the prospect: "If you guys do that you deserve everything that happens later," he told CBS. "Sorry John, you're a lovely man, but you got on me on Howard Stern, bro, and I don't forget anything."
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Casting Michael J. Fox to replace Sheen on Two and a Half Men would certainly make for perfect symmetry. In 2000, after four seasons on Spin City, Fox announced he was leaving the show after being diagnosed with Parkinson's. Guess who stepped in as new deputy mayor Charlie Crawford? Though Fox clearly has a more G-rated TV persona than Sheen's Charlie Harper, playing a lout could be a fun departure for the 49-year-old star.
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Bringing Andrew McCarthy into the cast of Two and a Half Men would mitigate comparisons to Charlie Sheen by setting up a long overdue Brat Pack rematch. In 1986, the rich kid McCarthy played in Pretty in Pink stole Molly Ringwald away from Jon Cryer's eternally awkward Duckie. Having McCarthy as Cryer's new nemesis would instantly rekindle those tensions for any John Hughes fan. Plus, there's the potential for Ringwald and Pink's James Spader to guest star in a very special episode.
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Part of the genius of Two and a Half Men is how shamelessly it mines Charlie Sheen's debauched life for laughs. The stories of drugs, hookers, and rampant narcissism may be scary to watch in TV interviews, but put a laugh track behind them and it's sitcom gold. While David Hasselhoff's off-screen troubles don't come anywhere near Sheen's, the viral video of him drunk and unable to eat a cheeseburger off the floor, certainly shows great sitcom potential. Besides, if you need to rescue a show, who better than an old Baywatch lifeguard?
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Another Brat Pack possibility to fill Charlie Sheen's bowling shirts is Rob Lowe, who is enjoying a great run this season on Parks & Recreation. But it's the hedonistic heartthrob he plays on Californication that proves he can channel some inner Sheen. Lowe's Madness-to-his-Method-Acting Eddie Nero goes to dark places that even Charlie Harper couldn't handle.
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Though no relation to Charlie, Welsh actor Michael Sheen has already proven he can handle great sitcom material. His guest run on 30 Rock as Liz Lemon's love interest Wesley Snipes—but not that Wesley Snipes—showed there was far more comedic range to the 42-year-old actor than audiences saw in his portrayal of Tony Blair in The Queen or David Frost in Frost/Nixon. But the real reason to cast Sheen? The potential that all those Team Edward fans from the Twilight saga would tune in to watch Aro the vampire each week.
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Here's a Sheen-for-a-Sheen swap that fans could really get behind. Again, there's the slight problem of Martin Sheen having guest-starred in Season 3 as the father of Charlie Harper's stalker, Rose—he even had a fling with Charlie and Alan's mother—but surely the audience could suspend disbelief if Grandpa Harper moved in one day. Beyond the continuity of having Charlie's real-life father on the show, there is the added bonus of his age—if a man in his forties behaving badly is funny, imagine a Golden Guy.
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Betty White isn't the only silver fox who knows how to milk a punch line. As Kirk Douglas demonstrated on the Oscars, he still has plenty of comic timing left in his 94-year-old body. The only downside? He likes to ad lib too much.
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