Royal Delivery Stuns Royal Superfans

I am sorry to have to tease you thus, dear Royalists, but the big royal news of today is a delivery. Just not the delivery we are all expecting.

No, in fact the royal baby story officially jumped the shark today when the media was overrun by an account of how a parcel of cakes and pastries, allegedly arranged by William and Kate, were delivered to the lunatics - sorry, superfans - who have been camped outside the hospital for the past several weeks in their determination to be first to see the new Royal baby when it finally leaves hospital, an event which, at the risk of stating the obvious, won’t happen until it is actually born.

I have to say I was sceptical. This smelt like a stunt by the Sun, or, perhaps, celebrity looky-likey specialist Allison Jackson.

But no! An impeccable palace source confirmed to the Royalist what initially seemed like wild rumours; that the royal couple, upon hearing news of those camping outside the hospital where Kate is to give birth, really did arrange a breakfast box of pastries to show they 'we're thinking of them.' The goodies were wrapped in -wait for it - a PINK ribbon.

Self-described royal fan Maria Scott said: "They knocked on the tent and said good morning, we have a present from the Duke and Duchess of Cambridge."

And tomorrow, your highnesses, they'd like Cronuts.