Run a Crazy Scientology Obstacle Course
‘Escape the religion, save your kids, save your friends, and most importantly save your acting career!’
Billy Eichner gave comedian Rachel Dratch the real Hollywood treatment on his Billy on the Street show, sending her running on an obstacle course fraught with perils plucked from the pages of Dianetics and the fantastical realm of weirdness surrounding Scientology’s faithful.
Named “Leah Remini’s Escape from Scientology,” after the King of Queens actress who vocally left the church this year, Dratch’s challenges are made all the more wild for their based-in-fact origins. After signing a billon-year contract with the church, getting married by intergalactic overlord Xenu, saving her kids from the nefarious Sea Org, digging Shelly Miscavige from a tub of Jell-O, freeing men from John Travolta’s shed, and scaling the Dianetics volcano, Dratch pulls it all of to win… a faux contract with TV Land for her own series.
“It’s not a billion-year contract,” Eichner exclaims at the conclusion. “It’s just eight half-hour episodes!”
Somewhere, in the dark corners of a Sea Org cruise ship, Tom Cruise is plotting his revenge.
See more of our coverage in your search results.
Got a tip? Send it to The Daily Beast here.
Register below to read this article for free or subscribe
to unlock unlimited access to The Daily Beast.
Monthly
$1
First month then $5.99/month
Annual
$35
First year then $59.99/year
Premium
$79
First year then $119.99/year
*Substack access provided by the next business day, using your subscription email. Choosing the Premium plan constitutes your permission to share your subscription email with Substack and your agreement to Substack’s Privacy Policy.
Already have an account? Sign In
Looks like you already have a subscription!
You're all set!
Thanks for subscribing.