Billy Eichner gave comedian Rachel Dratch the real Hollywood treatment on his Billy on the Street show, sending her running on an obstacle course fraught with perils plucked from the pages of Dianetics and the fantastical realm of weirdness surrounding Scientology’s faithful.
Named “Leah Remini’s Escape from Scientology,” after the King of Queens actress who vocally left the church this year, Dratch’s challenges are made all the more wild for their based-in-fact origins. After signing a billon-year contract with the church, getting married by intergalactic overlord Xenu, saving her kids from the nefarious Sea Org, digging Shelly Miscavige from a tub of Jell-O, freeing men from John Travolta’s shed, and scaling the Dianetics volcano, Dratch pulls it all of to win… a faux contract with TV Land for her own series.
“It’s not a billion-year contract,” Eichner exclaims at the conclusion. “It’s just eight half-hour episodes!”
Somewhere, in the dark corners of a Sea Org cruise ship, Tom Cruise is plotting his revenge.