CREEP

Samantha Bee Calls Out ‘Critically Acclaimed Pervert’ Louis C.K.

The ‘Full Frontal’ host said that if we want Alabama voters to reject Roy Moore, then comedians need to denounce Louis C.K.

In the days since the sexual-misconduct allegations against comedian Louis C.K. became public, the male hosts who dominate late-night television have been relatively reluctant to pile on a man many of them consider a friend and peer.

Not Samantha Bee.

She began with the controversy surrounding Alabama Senate candidate Roy Moore, which she said boils down to one big question for Republicans: “Which is worse: electing an alleged pedophile or a Democrat?”

“It’s difficult to hear about these women’s accounts,” the Full Frontal host said of the now eight women who have come forward to allege that Moore sexually harassed or assaulted them when they were teenagers. “But I bet if R. Kelly put a sick beat under it we’d dance to it! Some sex monsters are still weirdly tolerated.”

Bee went on to call out Senate Majority Leader Mitch McConnell for immediately springing into “inaction” when he first heard about the allegation against Moore. “It took three days for McConnell to get out of beach ball mode and say that he believed Moore’s accusers,” she said. “I’m sure that it was their heart-wrenching stories that helped him and Senate Republicans remember that they never liked Steve Bannon’s candidate—I mean, sexual assault—in the first place.”

“After a few days to weigh the pros and cons, Republicans are totally anti-child molester,” Bee added. “Except for the ones in Moore’s own state.”

She ran down some of the most outrageous defenses of Moore, including one state lawmaker who compared him to Joseph from the Bible.

“Oh, come on!” Bee said. “I may be a dirty liberal now, but I went to Catholic school. Even I know the Bible says my teenage crush—sexy, buff Jesus—was an immaculate conception. How can you call yourself a Christian and not know your hero’s origin story?”

The host also went off on the robocalls from a fake Washington Post reporter named “Bernie Bernstein” who asked for damaging information about Moore. “Whoa! Hashtag fake Jews,” she said. “Is that what you think Jewish people sound like? Because it sounds like The Penguin fucked Fran Drescher.”  

But Bee also admitted that this “isn’t just an Alabama problem,” it’s a “human problem.” And while it’s “easy to condemn someone else’s predator,” Bee said, “It’s harder when it’s your own critically acclaimed pervert.”

With that line, Louis C.K.’s photo appeared on the screen behind her as she visibly cringed.

“Each community needs to kick out its own creeps,” she added, “whether that’s politics, entertainment, or whatever the fuck you call Steven Seagal’s profession. And it’s hard, especially when those people have the ability to hire us, fire us, or presumably have us murdered by Russian mobsters.”

While “everybody in Hollywood is patting themselves on the back for exiling Harvey Weinstein,” Bee pointed out that the industry has welcomed back Daddy’s Home 2 star Mel Gibson with open arms. “Because nothing says ‘family-friendly’ like a racist domestic abuser with a drinking problem and the words ‘Daddy’s Home.’”

To the people of Alabama, Bee said, “If you want to prove that your lovely state is better than liberal, sex-crazed Hollywood, the voter registration deadline for the special election is November 27th. Please prove all of us Yankee assholes wrong about you.”

At the end of her show, Bee delivered one last rant on what it's like to be a “woman in comedy,” explaining, “Even if no one exposes his penis to you, you’re still dealing with a parade of total dicks.”

Speaking to female comedians who have felt bullied by their male peers, she concluded, “Ladies, your jokes about Gilmore Girls and yeast infections and what it’s like to be angry all the fucking time are great. The meteor has already hit. So don’t worry about what the dinosaurs think; the future of comedy is yours.”

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Matt WilsteinSenior Editor

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