“Like many of you, I am shocked — absolutely shocked — by President Trump’s press conference with Vladimir Putin this week,” Samantha Bee said near the top of her show on Wednesday night. She was being sarcastic.
After playing the clip of Trump dismissing Russia’s starring role in the 2016 cyber attack on America’s electoral process, the Full Frontal host said, “I guess we’ll never know who to believe: Trump own intelligence agencies and the Department of Justice or the guy who smiles like he can only orgasm when a journalist dies. What a mystery!”
What really “shocked” Bee was not Trump’s denial of Russian meddling but rather the fact that everyone else, including several Congressional Republicans, seemed so “shocked” by his comments. “There was not one part of that groveling display that Trump has not said before,” she remarked. “These guys knew all this already. Trump wasn’t doing new material, he was just doing his greatest hits.”
“But let’s say, for a second, that Republican truly don’t want Russia to run U.S. elections,” she added, cutting to a clip of Senate Majority Leader Mitch McConnell saying just that on Tuesday. “Mitch McConnell telling Russia they better not mess with our elections again is about as effective as telling gravity to stop eating Mitch McConnell’s chin.”
And yet Bee reserved her strongest condemnation for the members of the “liberal media” who seemed equally surprised that Trump stood next to Putin and failed to hold him to account.
“Republicans had every reason to pretend that Trump’s public surrender to Russia came as a surprise, but guys, what’s your excuse?” she asked, as the faces of Anderson Cooper, Jake Tapper, Rachel Maddow and other cable news hosts appeared on the screen behind her. “Because no one in your profession should be this shocked the 50th time someone does something.”
“No one who works for me was shocked by it, and most of us have spent thousands of dollars on improv classes. We are not bright people!” Bee joked. “How can you be shocked by the president saying the exact same thing he’s said countless times before?”
The host ended her opening segment by reminded viewers that Hillary Clinton “literally warned us about every part of this two years ago,” adding, “The only part she didn’t warn us about we what it would actually feel like to be outsmarted by a guy who looks like a penis right after the condom comes off.”
And yes, she was talking about Vladimir Putin.