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After the half-hug heard-round-the-world, Simon Doonan has a message for Michelle Obama and the Queen: “Get a room already! If I were craving intergenerational girl-on-girl intimacy, then I would have tuned in to an L-Word rerun.” The Barneys creative director was so unnerved by the royal display of PDA that he took to venting in a heated column: “I’m a nouveau riche fun-loving commoner who expects the folks at the top of the pyramid to act with tight-assed, gravitas-riddled arcane decorum. Is that too much to ask?”