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SNL Premiere: Trump Attacks San Juan’s Mayor, Bungles Puerto Rico Crisis
In the season premiere’s cold open, Alec Baldwin’s Trump went after Mayor Carmen Yulin Cruz and threatened once again to fire Jeff Sessions.
Alec Baldwin wasn’t literally carrying his Emmy Award in his hand when he walked on stage for the 43rd season premiere of Saturday Night Live. But he might as well have been given the raucous reception he received from the audience at Studio 8H.
Aidy Bryant’s Sarah Huckabee Sanders welcomed Baldwin’s Trump back to the Oval Office from his Bedminster golf course where he took a call from San Juan Mayor Carmen Yulin Cruz, who he attacked on Twitter earlier on Saturday.
“Sometimes when you are president, you have to make sacrifices, so I skipped the back nine,” Trump said. As Mayor Cruz begged for his help, the president told her she “should have paid” her bills if she wanted FEMA to help her in a timely fashion. “Ma'am, I don’t know if you know this, but you’re on an island in the water, the ocean water. Big ocean, with fishies and bubbles and turtles that bite. We want to help you, but we have to take care of America first.”
When the mayor reminded him that Puerto Rico is an American territory, Trump assured her that he totally knew that.
The sketch also touched on Trump’s NFL controversy and the press secretary’s struggles to defend her boss. “I like you, Sarah, you are a straight shooter,” Trump said. “That’s why you outlasted Sean Spicer, Scaramucci, Bannon, Priebus, Gorka, Flynn, Yates, and Tom Price.”
“Thank you, sir, I think it’s because folks listen to me because I’m no nonsense but I’m all nonsense,” Sanders replied. “I’m a little embarrassed that I said it is a ‘black and white’ issue. I should have said it’s a black versus white issue.”
The president said he actually loves football and thinks he could have been a player in the league. “People say I remind them of an NFL player because I’m combative, I like to win, and I might have a degenerative brain disease,” he said.
By the end of the sketch, Baldwin was joined by his fellow Emmy winner Kate McKinnon as Attorney General Jeff Sessions, who sat on his lap and begged Trump not to fire him. “I will not let you down,” Sessions assured Trump. “I might look adorable, but I’m frightening.”