In lieu of Alec Baldwin’s Donald Trump, Saturday Night Live opened this week’s show with two massive guest stars in his place. Reuniting 18 years after they first starred together in Meet the Parents, Ben Stiller as Trump’s lawyer Michael Cohen came face to face with none other than Robert De Niro as Special Counsel Robert Mueller.
“Can you believe what they’re doing to poor Mr. Trump?” Stiller’s Cohen asked Jeff Sessions and Mike Pence when he entered the scene. “It’s a disgrace! This whole raid was a complete violation of attorney/criminal privilege.”
Later, he added, “You know how much evidence I have in my office? I’m Donald Trump’s lawyer! I’ve got a whole hard drive that’s just labeled ‘yikes.’”
When Kate McKinnon’s Sessions asked Cohen to go meet with someone down the hall, he ended up in an interrogation room with De Niro’s Mueller, who got an even bigger ovation than Stiller when he came on screen. What followed was a full-on re-creation of their Meet the Parents dynamic, complete with Mueller telling Cohen at one point, “I have nipples. Can you milk me, Mr. Cohen?”
Asked what Trump’s code name is, Mueller replied, “Well, it used to be ‘Putin’s Little Bitch,’ now it’s ‘Stormy’s Little Bitch.’” He also revealed that Cohen’s code name is “Dead Man Walking.”
And when Cohen got testy, Mueller said, “Now you listen to me, you little weasel. I don’t know what rights you think you have. You broke the law. And now we’re going to catch all of you little fockers, you got that?”