SNL’s Hillary Clinton Hits Back at Bernie Sanders and Susan Sarandon Before New York Primary
In this week’s ‘Saturday Night Live’ cold open, a frustrated Hillary Clinton delivered a message to America after losing eight of the past nine primary contests.
Kate McKinnon’s Hillary Clinton is back and she is no longer feeling the Bern.
After losing eight of the last nine Democratic primary and caucus contests, Clinton embraced her newfound “underdog” status and proved what an authentic New Yorker she is.
“It’s true, I have not been winning as of late,” she said. “In fact, I have not won a state in almost three weeks, because that was the plan. I didn’t want to win those, and so I didn’t.” She attempted the old adage, “You win some…” but she couldn’t manage to finish it.
Looking ahead to the New York primary a week from Tuesday, Clinton exclaimed, “God, I love being back in the Fat Apple! My home state, except for Illinois and Arkansas, but they already voted for me, so we cool, we cool.” Strapping on a brand new Yankees hat, Clinton added that she can’t wait to “take in that hot new Broadway show that’s got all of NYC abuzz.” No, not Hamilton. “Chicago.”
Then she unwisely shared a clip of herself trying and failing to use a Metrocard in the New York subway.
“See, New Yorkers, I’m just like all of you,” Clinton said. “I never sleep, I’m in a hurry to get to work. And when I’m running, I really hate it when a slow old Jew gets in my way.”
Clinton urged her supporters to get out and vote, but to the young people of New York, she said, “Voting’s for nerds, who cares, just sleep in. I’m sure you’re all hung over from your Tumblr parties anyway.”
But she saved her harshest words for Susan Sarandon, who recently implied that Donald Trump might be better for America than Hillary Clinton: “Why don’t you take Tuesday to go drive off another cliff.”
And to compete with “Birdie Sanders,” she brought out her own three-eyed raven from Game of Thrones. “If you don’t vote for me on April 19th, Winter is Coming,” she said.
“And finally, everyone, I know this week a pesky little you-know-what said I wasn’t qualified to be president,” Clinton concluded. “But, here’s the truth: I would be the strongest candidate to go up against Donald Trump face-to-face or go up against Ted Cruz face to whatever you call that up there.”