The first part of the Southern Charmers’ trip to Linville, North Carolina, was as anticlimactic as a trip to Linville sounds. Overall, this random getaway (while Leva, Madison, Venita, and Whitney are twiddling their thumbs back in Charleston, I guess) is pretty pointless. There’s nothing for this crew to do besides sip wine, fly-fish, and joke about Craig’s conspiracy theories—all deeply compelling activities to watch.
I’m guessing, since there’s nothing else to talk about this season besides Olivia, Taylor, and Austen’s love triangle, the producers thought they’d at least give viewers a different backdrop to look at. (If only both Taylor and Shep’s respective family cabins didn't have the same hideous decor.) That said, I’d be perfectly content watching all of these repetitive conversations play out at one of Leva’s restaurants. I also don’t understand why tonight’s episode, in particular, needed to be 75 minutes long, but here we are!
In tonight’s episode, at least, we get to see Taylor show a more ferocious side of herself and throw a glass of wine. Plus, Shep has another meltdown over losing a light-hearted, non-competitive game.
Regarding how Olivia feels about Austin and Taylor, she really hasn’t made any steps forward from the last three episodes. How long do we have to watch Olivia contemplate, with her mouth hanging open, whether she can ever trust Austen and Taylor again? Will it even be that big of a surprise, at this point, if Taylor and Austen reveal that they hooked up? Will Olivia’s reaction, if this ever comes out, even be worth all this buildup?
Austen seems like he’s fully tapped out of this storyline. Or maybe it’s just this trip, which no one seems eager to partake in. To be fair, the most exciting thing to do in this drab location, again, is go fly-fishing. JT, who's become the laughing stock of the group, predictably falls into the lake, filling up his overalls with water. None of the other guys are even laughing that hard because they’re so used to this short, clumsy man constantly taking L’s.
Meanwhile, Craig is talking to Rodrigo about wanting to settle down with Paige for the 500th time. Paige told Craig that she’ll be ready to have children at 35—which I just don’t believe. But Craig, who's a few years older than her, doesn’t want to be a new daddy in his forties. Thankfully, during the Southern Charm panel at last weekend’s BravoCon, Craig said that he’s moved on from trying to persuade Paige to live with him in Charleston and start a family. So hopefully, we'll be spared this narrative next season!
Then we go to Taylor’s family’s lake house, where Olivia plans to stop by and possibly stay for a few days. I get that she and Taylor need to have yet another awkward conversation about the Austen stuff. But this whole set-up is so unnatural and weird, as Olivia keeps saying, even though she has a close bond with Taylor’s Jesus-loving parents.
When Olivia finally arrives, Taylor’s mother gives her a godly word of encouragement before she talks to her daughter. The two go down a million flights of stairs to a deck above the lake to hash things out. This time, Taylor offers a straightforward apology for her lying about kissing Austen without making any excuses. She also promises Olivia that she and Austen didn’t hook up, saying that “it would be easier” if she could just say that they had sex. (Uh, no it wouldn't.) Olivia’s receptive to her apology but says she believes they hooked up despite Taylor’s vehement denial.
Ultimately, Olivia says she’s not sure if they can salvage their friendship and that she doesn’t feel comfortable staying at her lake house. This is a much more somber conversation than the one she had with Austen last week, which ended on an optimistic note—plus, a movie date where she felt comfortable enough to take off bra.
Again, I get why Olivia would have higher expectations for Taylor than Austen. But I hate that he always gets off scot-free because he’s irredeemably terrible. I’m also just sick of watching these three have inert conversations over and over again. It’s gotten to the point where I barely have an opinion on this subject anymore. Let’s wrap it up!
Unfortunately, the producers are so intent on making something pop off between Taylor, Olivia, and Austen that they make Taylor follow Olivia to Shep’s cabin. It isn’t just that Olivia has to deal with Austen and Taylor in the same vicinity. Rod also throws her curveball and decides that this is the perfect occasion to ask her if they can date exclusively. (Have these two even dated at all??)
Unsurprisingly, Olivia says no. She does the polite thing and tells Rod that she’s not in the right place mentally after what she’s been through with Austen. It’s her, not him. (Funnily enough, she still has more chemistry with Austen after he supposedly traumatized her than she ever will with Rod.) So I guess this means Rod is officially out of a storyline this season, unless he pulls something out of his sleeve.
Anyway, this gathering at Shep’s lake house is so boring that the producers make the cast put on tin-foil hats and listen to Craig talk about his conspiracy theories. On any other Bravo show, I might find this segment amusing. But with this cast—especially Craig, who was a full-on COVID denier when the pandemic started—I can’t really tell how much of this is a joke.
For the rest of the night, everyone either wanders off or just sits outside waiting for production to tell them they can go to bed. Shep plays a game of ping pong against JT, who shockingly beats him. (The first win this man has had this season.) Thankfully, Shep is extremely fragile when it comes to any sort of competition. And this ping-pong game sets off the first truly explosive moment of the trip.
When Shep comes back outside, he’s already way too agitated about losing to JT. He’s explaining how he just couldn’t beat JT’s strategy to Taylor and Rodrigo, as if there’s any stake in this game. When JT finally comes outside, Taylor jokingly exclaims, “We are the champions,” which makes Shep more irate. This debacle is somehow more embarrassing than when Shep called Taylor an idiot last season for interfering with his game of egg toss. And yes, the editors show an obligatory flashback.
So Shep is scolding Taylor for rubbing his loss in his face. He asks if she enjoys taunting him, to which she responds, “Did you enjoy cheating on me?” This is maybe the fifth time this season that Taylor has reminded Shep of his infidelity, and she’s managed to gag him every time. Only this time, Shep finally has enough of Taylor throwing his shady behavior in his face and responds matter-of-factly, “I mean, sometimes it was fun.”
So Taylor gets up from her seat and throws her glass of red wine all over Shep’s hoodie. She goes back inside and starts freaking out to Olivia, who’s trying to calm her down. Back outside, Austen scolds Shep for losing it on Taylor, which becomes a whole other argument about Austen allegedly having it out for Shep since the day they met.
Finally, everyone cools off. And Shep tries to explain himself to Taylor, which just means blaming her for “making him mad.” This is exactly how the egg toss argument went. It’s Taylor’s fault for poking the bear but not Shep’s fault for having the sensitivity of a 5-year-old. He also says the real root of his anger is Taylor and Austen’s makeout. So again, it’s all Taylor’s fault!
Everyone just decides to move on and go to bed. They’re all wasted at this point anyway. The next morning, Olivia comes downstairs to find Shep and Taylor sleeping in the same bed. They’re both fully clothed with several pillows between them and claim there was no foul play. However, if Taylor was that pissed about the cheating comment, I wouldn’t put it past her to still have feelings for Shep.
At this point, I’d rather watch her try to get back into that toxic relationship than hear more about whatever’s going on with Austen. Sadly, I think we’ve milked this low-level “Scandoval” for all its worth.
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