Stephen Colbert noticed something funny about Kellyanne Conway’s recent CNN appearance, and it wasn’t just that she called President Donald Trump the “commander of cheese.”
On Wednesday night’s Late Show, Colbert took on the “White House counselor and secret painting in the attic of Claudia Schiffer” over her seeming preoccupation with using rhymes to defend her boss on cable news. “I noticed that Kellyanne found a way to deliver her ‘alternative facts’ with a fun little twist,” he said, before playing a montage of Conway talking about “snark and bark,” “junk and bunk” and, of course, the Russian “collusion delusion illusion.”
“Oh wow! Kellyanne can rhyme!” Colbert said. “She's spitting bars faster than Mueller can put people behind them.”
“Well, if Kellyanne thinks that simple, repetitive rhymes are the best way to get a message across, allow me to respond,” Colbert said before dropping some bars of his own.
“Kellyanne, you grin n’ spin. You stump for Trump with your deflecting and protecting,” he rapped. “But we all know what you really are: a town crier for the garbage fire, a deceiver-for-hire, and there’s no one slyer. When things are most dire, you conspire to preach to the choir, a denier of our current quagmire.”
“My desire is that you retire before you're fired,” Colbert concluded. “Because ma’am, you are a liar.”