The Dumbest Journalism Passage of All Time
The bad things that happen when dumb people read too much into sports.
I often refrain from posts like this, because all the person I'm criticizing really cares about is getting the link. But I thought you folks should know about this one. So I've come up with a solution--let's just do this without naming the writer or the publication, or providing a link. Here is maybe the dumbest passage ever written, in a column about the young Nats star Bryce Harper:
The Nationals were playing Atlanta, and in the fifth inning Harper, with his team leading by two, singled to right. The ball was hit to Braves right fielder Jason Heyward. Heyward strolled up to the ball as if he were walking to the corner for a paper. Harper promptly headed for second base. Heyward suddenly woke up and fired to second base, but too late. More than one sports writer has noted that this moment was no small thing for baseball. It was like the part in the movie "Awakenings" when the guy who was asleep for 30 years wakes up.
Heyward's bungle showed a complacency, if not indolence, that Harper threatens to destroy, but it also could be a metaphor for the collapse of the old liberal order. Heyward was like one of those public school teachers who, because they are a union member, can't be fired and so are relegated to the "rubber room" to sit and read the paper and gather a check for the rest of their lives. Or even Obama, who went from Hawaii to Harvard to the White House and never seems to have had to slide head-first into a base his entire life.
Wow. Of course, it practically goes without saying that Heyward is black (Harper is white). I mean, who else could possibly be as indolent as a teachers' union member? This is really diseased stuff. By the way, Heyward finished second in NL Rookie of the Year balloting in 2010, and was in that year the first Brave to steal home in 10 years. See, he steals things too! He really must represent the undeserving poor. I can't believe the writer failed to make that point. Slipping.
Here's my pal Charlie Pierce having fun with this, and he does reveal the writer's name, and I don't mind at all passing you over to CP.
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