BEST NON-ANSWER TO A JUDGE’S QUESTION, EVER
Has Miss Arizona been taking lessons from Miss Teen South Carolina 2007? When Kenan Thompson asks Arizona’s Alicia Blanco about universal health care, her answer comes in the form of a rambling about integrity that does everything but actually address his question.
BEST WAY TO MAKE TWITTER OFFICIALLY UNCOOL
When Twitter meets Miss USA, the results are, well, underwhelming.
BEST MOMENT: MESS WITH PEREZ AND HE WILL ICE YOU
Perez Hilton asks a blunt question of Miss California and she does not answer to his satisfaction. She loses the pageant by a fraction. Coincidence? We doubt it.
WORST PIMPING OF ENVIRONMENTAL MOVEMENT EVER
After years of broken promises, beauty pageants have finally made good on their various vows to save the world. The Miss USA pageant has gone green!
WORST MOMENT: THE SAD, SHAMEFUL WALK OF THE GIRL WITH THE GOOD PERSONALITY
Apparently nice girls finish last, too. Or at least in this pageant they do. The beautiful Cynthia Pate of Wyoming was elected by her peers as the nicest, most congenial of the bunch, but she didn’t even make the final 15.
BEST INDICATION OF WHAT THIS IS ALL ABOUT
Who directed this thing, Russ Meyer? In case the swimsuit segment isn’t titillating enough for the male viewers, the producers have the bikini-clad contestants run toward the camera in a “candid” backstage moment.
BEST EVIDENCE THAT THIS AWARD MEANS NOTHING
Crystle Stewart of Texas won the competition in 2008. Now, in 2009, she’s... going to be taking classes at the New York Film Academy. At least it isn’t The Leaning Annex.
WORST GOWN, AND WE DON’T JUST MEAN IN THIS PAGEANT: MISS ARKANSAS
Miss Arkansas made a bold choice with her evening gown look by apparently going with a “Sexy Harem Girl” Halloween costume from Party City.
WORST MOMENT FOR FEMINISM SINCE PADMA’S CHEESEBURGER COMMERCIAL
The phrase "role model" gets thrown around quite a bit, but it still seems a bit of stretch look for one, as Kelly Monaco does, in these participants. See video above if this seems unclear.