Treasure Hunter: I Found OBL Corpse

Conveniently, a California treasure hunter has chosen the anniversary of Osama bin Laden’s death to announce that he has “found” the terrorist’s corpse. In fact, Bill Warren—who claims he has discovered more than 200 shipwrecks during his immensely successful treasure-hunting career—told the Spanish newspaper El Mundo that he knows the precise location of bin Laden’s body: “200 miles to the west of the Indian city of Surat.” Warren reassured El Mundo that he’s “the only one with this information,” and that bin Laden’s body is exactly where the U.S. Navy dropped it last spring, only it’s on the ocean floor now, of course, since the body bag was weighted down. According to El Mundo, he’s working on renting some high-tech Russian diving equipment to recover the cadaver. He needs only $200,000 to finance his mission. Despite recovering 200 shipwrecks, apparently he’s never struck gold. Donations, anyone?