MAN OF HEEL

Trump Humiliated by Golden Dig at His ‘Bone Spurs’

The golden effigy of the president popped up two days before Veterans Day.

President Donald Trump’s draft-dodging past was put on blast on Monday with a giant gold statue in his front yard.

The Secret Handshake, an anonymous group of artists responsible for a series of sculptures taunting the 80-year-old president during his second administration, has erected another humiliating monument to Trump on the National Mall.

Titled “The Foot Soldier,” the golden effigy depicts Trump sitting and grabbing at his right foot as a tribute to his avoidance of military service due to supposed bone spurs.

The statue, which sits near the National Gallery of Art’s Sculpture Garden, will remain on the National Mall through Veterans Day, a spokesperson for The Secret Handshake told the Daily Beast.

An inscription on the monument reads: “We honor the service and sacrifice of our Commander in Chief, Donald J. Trump. He’s a soldier in spirit, who marched to the front lines of dodging the draft, armed with a perfect diagnosis of bone spurs. We salute a leader who knows you can’t spell sacrifice without ‘I,’ and a warrior who reminds us that sometimes when you’re called to stand up, it’s best to just sit down and rest your feet.”

It also includes a quote that the president himself shared in 2013: “I can be very military.”

Trump received five deferments during the Vietnam War—four for education, and the fifth for a disputed bone spur diagnosis.

Accompanying the statue on the mall was a 6-foot mascot resembling a big toe, appropriately dubbed “Toey.”

The mascot stood beside the monument and poked fun at the president’s mannerisms and lack of a military background, according to The Washington Post.

“Draft dodger? I hardly know her,” Toey said, according to the newspaper.

The mascot, who declined to reveal their identity to the Post, also said, “I’m the biggest toe. The hugest toe. Huge. Hugest toe. Largest toe that anyone’s ever seen.”

The White House accused The Secret Handshake of being obsessed with Trump.

“Trump Derangement Syndrome is a sick and incurable disease that has rotted the brains of these Democrat activists. President Trump will never waver in fighting for and protecting the American people,” White House spokesperson Davis Ingle told the Post in a statement.

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In response to the White House’s statement, a Secret Handshake spokesperson told the Daily Beast: “We are honored that The White House has diagnosed us with Trump Derangement Syndrome, though we have checked and it seems like that does not qualify for us to skip out on the latest war he’s created.”

“We’re also thrilled to be able to pay tribute on this beautiful Veterans Day week to a simpler time when the President would do anything in his power to avoid military action,” the spokesperson added. “If only his prescription for bone spurs had lasted long enough for him to consider them when invading Iran.”

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The Secret Handshake, whose members’ identities are unknown to the Daily Beast, has built several installations taunting Trump during his second administration.

The group has constructed multiple statues depicting Trump’s former friendship with the convicted sex offender Jeffrey Epstein, as well as a sarcastic giant trophy for his “participation” in the highly unpopular war in Iran he started back in February.

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Vic VerbalaitisNight Breaking News Reporter

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