HAPPY BIRTHDAY

Ukraine Gleefully Takes Credit for Wounding Putin Lackey Dmitry Rogozin

The country’s Border Guard Service quipped that injuring former space chief Dmitry Rogozin was their way of notifying him he’d illegally crossed the border.

As Russia’s former space chief floated conspiracy theories Thursday about what led to the “targeted” attack against him as he celebrated his birthday on stolen Ukrainian territory a day earlier, Ukrainian authorities offered a blunt response: Of course we fired at you, you moron, you never should’ve crossed the border. That was the gist of what Ukraine’s Border Guard Service said in a statement on Dmitry Rogozin’s shrapnel wounding. “The State Border Guard Service determined that Russian citizen Rogozin illegally crossed the Ukrainian border. We were unable to personally deliver the [written] protocol to the offender, which is why it was ‘handed’ to him during his birthday celebrations by concerned comrades,” the agency wrote. Rogozin, one of Vladimir Putin’s top cheerleaders in the war against Ukraine, was wounded along with another pro-Kremlin official when their hotel in occupied Donetsk was fired on by Ukrainian forces on Wednesday. One of his aides said Thursday that he’d been transferred to a military hospital in Russia’s Rostov region. The 59-year-old Russian nationalist says he will have to undergo surgery after suffering a shrapnel injury to his back, which he is now blaming on an “information leak.” “We lived in this hotel for months, and in eight years the enemy not once fired on this place,” he said of the “targeted” strike.

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Allison QuinnNews Editor

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