BURNING THE MAGA-NIGHT OIL

Vance Reveals Trump, 79, Has Dangerous Sleeping Patterns

Strange it took the vice president this long to work out the High Lord of MAGA “doesn’t have an off switch.”

JD Vance has shed some much-needed light on how many hours of shut-eye the president of the United States actually gets on any given night.

“One thing I’ve learned kind of working with him every day, he doesn’t have an off switch,” the vice president told Fox News’ My View with Lara Trump Saturday, to the surprise of anyone who’s made it this far without actually watching Donald Trump speak.

“Sometimes the president will call you at 12:30 or 2:00 in the morning, and then he’ll call you at 6:00 in the morning about a totally different topic,” Vance went on. “It’s like, ‘Mr. President, did you go to sleep last night?’”

Donald Trump is 79, an age at which most people find themselves sleeping more, not less, and at which studies indicate a chronic sleep deficit has a far more pronounced impact on both cognitive and physical health.

Older adults need between seven and nine hours of sleep each night, according to the National Institute on Aging.

The small hours are also when the president has proven himself at his most prolific on social media, embarking on highly provocative and often deeply erratic posting sprees via his Truth Social platform.

KEEPING HIM UP AT NIGHT

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Only this past Monday, Trump embarked on a late-night blitz in an apparent effort to convince his supporters he has “NEVER FELT BETTER IN MY LIFE” after his four-day disappearance from public view prompted speculation he’s not only in poor health, but might also quite possibly have been dead.

Those rumors had been fueled by a number of public appearances over the past several weeks in which the president has been seen with swollen calves, bruised hands and difficulty walking.

'CHIPOCOLYPSE NOW'

Donald Trump Threatens ‘WAR’ on Chicago in Wild AI Post

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White House physicians have attributed his bulging ankles to chronic venous insufficiency, a common condition among the elderly in which the veins have trouble returning blood to the heart. As for the bruising on his hands, his doctors and aides claim it’s due to Trump’s frequent handshaking as well as his use of aspirin to reduce his risk of heart disease.

Not that the president saves his most unhinged musings for the dead of night—before 5:30 p.m. Saturday, he posted an AI-generated image of himself as a character from Apocalypse Now while threatening to quite literally declare war on the city of Chicago.

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