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What's in the Fabloids

Brad makes midnight calls to Jennifer, Lady Gaga demands cheese backstage, and Elizabeth Edwards delivers Christmas gifts to her husband’s love child—say the tabs. VIEW OUR GALLERY

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Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie’s ex-maid dishes on the couple’s blowout fights and Brad’s midnight calls to ex-wife Jennifer Aniston in this week’s In Touch. After the George Clooney-hosted Hope for Haiti Now telethon last weekend, the exes reportedly parked their cars next to each other in a secluded spot and had a heart-to-heart. “Brad went into Jen’s car, and it was very romantic,” a friend says. This week’s tabloid also features three-year-old Suri Cruise posing in outfits from her $3.2 million (yes, $3.2 million) wardrobe. And in anticipation of Valentine’s Day, In Touch ranks Uma Thurman and Arpad Busson, who were spotted getting cozy in a New York park, as the most romantic starry-eyed couple.

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Amid rumors that Brad and Angelina are calling it quits, a Jolie-Pitt confidant insists to Us Weekly that the couple is “definitely not breaking up.” So what about that custody-and-property agreement? “Like any smart people with lots of money,” explains the source, “they’ve made provisions to protect the kids should anything happen to them.” Other sources aren’t so sure. “They’ve been fighting more and more over the past year,” says one. “They’ll split eventually.” Meanwhile, Us reports that Elin visited Tiger Woods at a sex rehab clinic, where she wrestled with whether to save their marriage. “She’s met with attorneys, but she isn’t ready to throw in the towel,” a Tiger pal tells Us. “Her mother has told her not to rush into anything. Although Pine Grove’s program is only six weeks, Dr. Drew Pinsky tells Us that Tiger “will need up to five years of treatment.”

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And the Brangelina train continues to chug along—despite numerous reports, Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt claim they have no plans to split. But a tell-all author claims the couple will separate in 2010. “It’s going to play out exactly like the Madonna split, when the reps denied it and then months later the couple announced the split.” On her tour, Lady Gaga reportedly asked for “nonsmelly cheese on ice,” as well as someone to bleach the backstage area before her arrival, along with a tarot card reader, and a spiritualist. Justin Timberlake may have to seek guidance as well after his recent run-ins with exes, including Cameron Diaz at the Haiti telethon on Friday. He also reportedly requested to present with former fling Kate Hudson at the Screen Actors Guild Awards on Saturday. “She’s a huge flirt, so it must have killed Jessica that they presented together,” a friend told the magazine. And even Heidi Montag’s friends think her plastic surgery went overboard. “She looks like Cat Lady,” one told Life & Style. Montag’s DDD breasts are apparently just the beginning—she reportedly hopes to be an “H, for Heidi.”

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What’s more important than the Hope For Haiti Now telethon raising $58 million and counting? The exes reunited at the event. Jennifer Aniston and Brad Pitt (who attended without partner Angelina Jolie) bonded over a backstage buffet. “Breaking up with Jen was the biggest mistake of his life,” a friend tells Ok! “He’s obsessed with her.” He reportedly even considered shaving his beard for Jen before seeing her on Friday. Justin Timberlake and Cameron Diaz reportedly engaged in a “friendly chat” at the celebrity-studded charity event as well. After “a lengthy investigation,” Ok! reveals Maddox Jolie-Pitt was more interested in Kim Kardashian on the megascreen than the action at a recent New Orleans Saints game. “He used the words ‘hottest girl’ to be exact,” a family insider says of the 8-year-old’s description. Britney Spears hit a new low this week, reportedly worrying friends about a repeat of her 2007 meltdown. “I’m not sure she’s eating. She’s struggling to get up in the morning,” a friend says. “At times, the boys can bring out the worst.” And Lindsay Lohan may finally be moving on from Samantha Ronson. Last Monday, she was spotted making out with French actor Aurélien Wilk at L.A.’s Church Boutique.

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According to Star, Brad Pitt won’t have to look very far to find comfort after his split with Angelina. Jennifer Aniston is all set to take the bearded actor back—and it may be happening sooner rather than later. Brangelina allegedly drafted up a document that divvies up their considerable fortune and settles the custody of their kids. The breaking point for Brad supposedly came when Angelina told a magazine, “I doubt that fidelity is absolutely essential for a relationship.” And Johnny Depp’s longtime partner, French singer Vanessa Paradis, is speaking out for the first time. “I could go on and on about all the things I admire in him. I like watching him when he’s thinking, when he’s talking with people...He’s fantastic.” She also admitted that they’re not the most sociable couple, and her favorite gift from Depp is a metal heart that once belonged to Marilyn Monroe. Meanwhile, Tiger Woods and wife Elin had an emotional therapy session at the Pine Grove addiction clinic where he’s rumored to be staying, and the famous golfer just kept repeating “I’m sorry.” And finally, 45-year-old Courtney Cox is rumored to be pregnant, finally giving 5-year-old daughter Coco a new friend.

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In a surprise move, Elizabeth Edwards actually bought Christmas gifts for her husband’s love child, the blue-eyed little girl whose conception destroyed her marriage, according to People. Elizabeth’s sister, Nancy Anania, describes the December meeting in a North Carolina hotel room overseen by an intermediary: “She even said to Quinn, ‘Go stand next to Daddy,’” Anania says. “And she took a picture. I don’t know how she could do that.” But the tenderness of that forgiving moment masks the reality that Elizabeth has called it quits and John has moved out. “She said ‘I’ve had it. I can’t do this. I want my life back,’” Anania tells People. In other divorce news, sources tells People that Dennis Hopper and wife Victoria Duffy have been estranged for years—and that Duffy has indiscriminately spent Hopper’s money. Duffy’s camp denies the allegations and maintains that his wife of nearly 14 years is surprised by the divorce filing.

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The National Enquirer was suspiciously missing from our regular newsstand this morning, but the Globe has a good scoop about Prince Charles storming out on Camilla (while wearing a tattered $4,000 suit) after she was in a rage over him being skipped by his mother in the line to the throne. One palace source said “Camilla’s out of control…They’ve had heated arguments before when she hurled vases and books at him.” And Garth Brooks’ marriage to Trisha Yearwood is on the rocks, because they blame each other for their food addictions and ballooning weight. And in a “special report,” the Globe says Obama’s “nonstop partying” in the White House—including 170 bashes since the inauguration, have cost taxpayers $10 million so far. Don’t look for that to be discussed in Wednesday night’s “State of the Union” address.