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How Accurate is This Math?

Chronic high unemployment across the developed world means that many people have too much time on their hands. Some of them have (mis)used that time to study the text on blackboards used as backdrops in porn movies.

Our Welsh friend Tom Doran forwards with a cover note to reassure those who check the Daily Beast from their office computers that there is no actual porn on the site.

Dr Lagina’s Math tutorial

√24/√3 = √(24/3) = √8

= √(4.2) = √4√2 = 2√2

√(81/25) = √81/√25 = 9/5

MOZ

DetentionBramm SBlake FMortyHailey YJordan AKara B

Mathematics – A-level standard.

These are some good examples of operations with surds, using the rules for both multiplication (n√(a.b) = n√a.n√b) and division (n√(a/b) = n√a/n√b). All the working is correct. The sloppy square root sign in the second example extending over the equals sign could be confusing, and handwriting in general isn’t great, but is legible.

Unfortunately, despite this good academic work, Dr Lagina is entirely unsuited to a career in education due to his surname. It would be no use trying to insist on a different pronunciation such as La-GHEE-na as students of any age will still make cruel remarks – it is little wonder that his detention list is so long. It is a shame that no careers officer ever tried to dissuade him from his current employment path, though he is still young enough to change his vocation. It is either that or change his name: even a teacher should be able to afford the £33 fee for a Deed Poll, though perhaps he has already changed it from something even more embarrassing, like Dr Lesticle, Dr Lyphilis or Nick Clegg.

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David Frum

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