Hulk is angry.
Hulk Hogan—the former pro wrestler, former reality TV star, forever rocker of an epic bleach-blond handlebar mustache—can now add Star You Never Wanted to See Having Sex on Camera to his résumé. A snippet of a six-year-old tape of him fornicating with his best friend’s ex-wife was released Oct. 4 by Gawker, but Hogan is no Kardashian, it seems. Apparently uninterested in profiting off the tape’s release, Hogan is suing Gawker, his friend, and the ex-wife/sex partner, claiming he did not know he was being recorded. From Gawker, he’s seeking a hulk-size $100 million in damages.
In the nearly two weeks since a Not Safe For Work (Not Safe For Eyes?) edit of the tape was first posted, the scandal has gotten as absurd as a Hulk Hogan haircut. Behold: the nine most bizarre takeaways from the tape, the lawsuits, and the media fight that has ensued from Hogan’s big porno debut.
1. The woman is his best friend’s then-wife, and that friend’s name is Bubba the Love Sponge.
The woman doing the horizontal wrestle with the six-time World Heavyweight Champion is Heather Clem, who was then married to Hulk Hogan’s then-best friend, Todd Alan Clem. Mr. Clem is better known to the world as Bubba the Love Sponge, a radio host with his own show on Cox Radio and online at RadioIO, and yes, he has legally changed his name to that moniker. Hogan says Love Sponge gave him permission to have sex with his wife six years ago, when Hogan was still married to then-spouse Linda. Love Sponge even makes a cameo on the sex tape. He’s heard off-camera giving his blessing to the deed about to commence: “You guys do your thing. I’ll be in the office if you need me.”
2. But they are not friends anymore…
Love Sponge called Hogan a “hypocritical fraud,” “user,” and “piece of crap” after the wrestler filed the lawsuits and claimed he had no idea he was being taped. “There were three people in that home,” Love Sponge said. “All three knew what time it was. They knew what was going on.” Fascinatingly, the tape might not have been filmed using a traditional camcorder but, according to Love Sponge’s tirade, a surveillance camera that was mounted in his bedroom on the advice of attorneys amid a child custody issue. “You know I have surveillance,” he said, addressing Hogan. “You knew of everything going on.”
3. Bubba the Love Sponge was auto-parts shopping in the next room while Hogan was getting intimate with his wife.
What does a man do when his wife is in the next room getting freaky with his best friend? If Love Sponge’s memory serves him right, he was surfing the Internet for car parts. (A muffler, maybe?) Love Sponge also told Howard Stern that he doesn’t have some sort of cuckolding fetish. He claims not to have watched the tape, and, though he knew what was happening on the other side of the wall, he was “not getting off at all.” He also never spoke to his ex-wife about how Hogan performed in bed, he says.
4. Bubba the Love Sponge also offered his wife to Howard Stern.
“Bubba used to say to me, there are two guys in the world I’d let fuck my wife: Hulk Hogan and you, Howard,” Stern told Hogan when the newly minted porn star called in to his radio show. “And he offered me Heather.” Stern apparently told Love Sponge that he’d love to, but it never went down.
5. Hogan mentions his son during the tryst…repeatedly.
In the tape, as he stands bare-bottomed before joining Mrs. Love Sponge on the bed, Hogan’s phone rings. “Let me see if that’s Nick, hold on,” he says, potentially putting a damper on the mood. Hogan also interrupts a post-coital cuddle, saying he has plans to go meet with Nick, as fathers typically do after a session of swinging. An anecdote about how his son’s new girlfriend has a twin sister follows.
6. Hogan’s ringtone is his daughter Brooke’s song, “About Us.”
OK, that’s kind of cute.
7. Hogan felt fat.
Hogan’s first words after getting out of bed? A disgusted, “Fuck, I just ate too. I felt like a pig.” Swoon. Apparently, he ate too much sashimi. “I gotta put my Bubba shirt back on.” (In this case, Bubba is Hogan’s nickname; he’s not referring to Clem’s husband, Love Sponge.) And he doesn’t stop harping on it, either. “Can’t believe I just ate like a pig 10 minutes ago,” he complains, shaking his head. “I feel like I just got off a fucking roller coaster. I’m out of breath.” (Though his shirt is, indeed, back on through this entire exchange, he remains pantsless, proudly peacocking his Speedo tan.)
8. Hogan’s ex-wife watched the tape.
“Who wouldn’t want to watch it?” Linda Hogan told Inside Edition, apparently unaware that the answer to her question is “almost everyone, ever.” She also said her children were upset about the whole scandal. “Brooke was a little bit angry and very disappointed,” she said. “Nick, on the other hand, was just saddened. He was embarrassed, really.”
9. There may be more tapes.
A Pandora’s box of ickyness may just have been opened. Sources tell Philadelphia’s Daily News that multiple videos of Hogan and Clem doing the deed are floating around, as well as Clem with other “B and C list celebrities.” That’s not all. In one of the videos, Hogan reportedly goes on a racist rant that includes “N-bombs.”