💔TRUMPUSHKA💔

Putin’s Pals Freak Out at Trump Loss and Make Apocalyptic Prediction

The Kremlin’s desperate propagandists are panicking after the Republicans were wiped out in the midterms.

Vladimir Putin’s Kremlin propagandists have been left stunned by President Donald Trump’s “unimaginable” midterm defeat, desperately claiming it could trigger nuclear war.

The blue tsunami that swept across the U.S., with Democrats seizing control of both Congress and the Senate, sent shockwaves through Russia, where the 80-year-old president is affectionately called “our Trump” and “Trumpushka.”

State media experts were convinced that while the Republicans might lose their majority in the House, they would remain in charge of the Senate. They mocked polls showing Republicans languishing behind the Democrats and wished Trump success in the midterms, anticipating that he would finally be able to force Ukraine’s capitulation to Russia and even withdraw the U.S. from NATO. The magnitude of the voters’ rebuke against the GOP caught the Kremlin’s talking heads by surprise.

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During Wednesday’s broadcast of the radio show Full Contact, decorated state TV host Vladimir Solovyov appeared gobsmacked by the outcome. He said, “Trump’s night was a lot worse than mine. Trump admitted his defeat, which can’t be called anything but resounding and egregious... this is an overwhelming defeat.” He later added, “For Trump, this was a dreadful night.”

Solovyov bitterly noted, “Trump lost it all. He lost everything.”

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He was particularly amazed at the results in Texas, where Democrat James Talarico trounced Trump’s pick Ken Paxton, describing it as an outcome that seemed completely impossible. The host added, “This is incredibly painful for Trump to an unimaginable degree... The blue wave swept over him.” Solovyov remarked, “Trump should pray that he does not get impeached.”

A dejected Solovyov revealed his fears that Trump might back out of his poorly received diesel deal with Russia. “My anticipation that the Gramps would get it together led nowhere. The Gramps couldn’t pull through,” Solovyov admitted.

And with Trump shackled by Congress for the remainder of his term, Solovyov suggested Trump’s appeasement of Putin over the war in Ukraine could end—leading to a shocking escalation. “This war is for a long time... There are only two possible conclusions: either we win, or the whole world will be reduced to ashes.”

Solovyov ludicrously attempted to pin the blame on Putin’s archnemesis, Ukrainian President Volodymyr Zelensky, accusing him of artificially causing the price of fuel in the U.S. to skyrocket by striking Russian oil refineries. Solovyov said, “Can you imagine how Zelensky is rejoicing? He exacted his revenge against Trump—and he won. Zelensky defeated Trump, he paid him back. This green moth is celebrating... he got his revenge for the humiliation at the Oval Office.”

Solovyov bemoaned the Democratic victory and surmised, “They’ve devoured Trump. He made a colossal mistake with Iran, without considering how it will drive up the price at the gas pump. If he was able to achieve success in the operations in Iran and Venezuela, and the friendship with us, causing rock-bottom prices at the fueling stations, he would have won... It’s the economy, stupid.”

Solovyov grimly pointed out, “Trump tried and failed to pull the rabbit out of a hat for one simple reason—there was no rabbit. With Venezuela, where is its oil? With Iran, what are the prices at the pump?”

The host asserted that the outcome would have been different if Trump had been able to achieve unquestionable global victories, which would have included “punishing Ukraine and Europe” for the sake of a rapprochement with Russia. Solovyov surmised, “Trump overestimated himself. He is not a team player.” He said that by insisting that voters pretend he was on the ballot, Trump may have sunk even GOP candidates who had a chance of winning.

Solovyov also pondered how this unraveling might affect Elon Musk, having earlier predicted that the trillionaire would end up moving to Russia.

“This was a campaign where the craziest campaign spending led to the most pitiful results,” he concluded.

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Julia Davis

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