Stephen Colbert’s Melania Trump Calls Herself a ‘Cold, Lifeless Monument to White Supremacy’

On Tuesday night, Stephen Colbert will host John Bolton for his first late-night interview since the publication of his new book, The Room Where It Happened. But on Monday, he scored an even bigger guest: first lady Melania Trump.

Well, actually it was actress Laura Benanti, who returned to The Late Show to show off her expert Melania impression. The fact that she was performing from home did nothing to dim her brilliance. 

Asked by Colbert how she’s holding up, she replied, “Oh, Stephen, these protesters are frightening. Every day, they tear down another cold, lifeless monument to white supremacy. I can’t help but worry, am I next?” She joked that she was currently “quarantined in an undisclosed location to avoid the virus, which is my nickname for Ivanka.” 

When the host said he was glad she was “social distancing” at least, Melania said, “It is as empty as a Trump rally in here!” She then added that Trump’s rally performance was “like his performance every night: way smaller than promised, and everyone involved should get tested.” 

From there, the first lady moved to address her new biography that was published this month under the title The Art of Her Deal. “Ugh, this book! Don't believe what you read,” she said. “This book makes me out to be a ruthless, cold-hearted manipulator who will stop at nothing to get what I want. But it’s also full of lies!”

She called the book’s claim that she was renegotiating her prenuptial agreement with Trump in the first months of her presidency “totally false,” explaining, “I do hope to one day soon negotiate a post-nup.” 

As for the way the book “blows up” the image of her as a “helpless victim of Donald Trump,” she added, “In Slovenia, we have a saying: Appear weak when you are strong and strong when you are weak. And keep copies of the tax returns on your person at all times.” 

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