WEIRD

Trump’s NSFW Arnold Palmer Story Broke Seth Meyers’ Brain

In light of Trump’s latest bizarre behavior, Meyers assured his viewers that covering this stuff isn’t as fun as it sounds.

Donald Trump rambled for 12 minutes at a rally on Saturday about Arnold Palmer and his “unbelievable” manhood, and late-night host Seth Meyers is frustrated by Republican attempts to deflect from the story.

Meyers showed an interview clip of House Speaker Rep. Mike Johnson accusing a baffled Jake Tapper of “cherry-pick[ing] a few words or lines out of a two-hour event.”

“It was the first thing out of [Trump’s] mouth!” Meyers replied. “He got up to the mic, said, ‘Hello, Latrobe. You know who’s from Latrobe? Arnold Palmer.’ Then told a 12-minute story…”

Meyers added, “I hate this thing Republicans do whenever Trump says something insane and the media asks them about the insane thing. They act like reporters are the ones who bring it up out of nowhere.”

“No one wants to talk about Arnold Palmer’s penis except for Donald Trump,” said Meyers, growing increasingly heated. “I swear to God, I never thought about it once until this weekend.”

The worst part for Meyers was how Trump’s weird behavior has kept interfering with his personal life: “And because I have this show, for the last two days, people have been saying to me, ‘I bet you’re gonna have a field day with Arnold Palmer’s penis.’ Like I have some weird kink where I’m talking about famous golfer’s genitals,” he ranted.

“That’s how I found out about it,” Meyers said. “I was at a pumpkin patch with my kids, trying to unplug from the news. Some stranger walks up to me, points at me and goes, ‘Arnold Palmer’s penis.’ No context… My kids are looking at me for answers. I got nothing.”

“This is Donald Trump’s America, you know?” said Meyers, growing even more agitated. “I’m gonna be picking out Christmas trees, a guy’s gonna come up to me and be like, ‘Catfish Hunter’s got a weird nut.’ I’m like, ‘What? What’s going on?’”

“It’s not a party to be me when this happens, I’ll tell you that much,” Meyers said.

The late-night host also used Trump’s story about Arnold Palmer’s genitals to respond to the common Fox News criticism that Kamala Harris has no concrete policy plans.

“With just two weeks until Election Day, voters have a choice,” Meyers said. “On the one hand, you got Kamala Harris’ plan to stop price-gouging, lower prescription drug costs, mandate coverage of elder care, and give money to the parents of newborns and first-time homeowners.

“And on the other hand, you got Donald Trump’s plan to let everyone know that Arnold Palmer had a big old donkey d---.”

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Michael Boyle

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