My mom’s a fan of The Bold and the Beautiful, so I’ll catch an episode here and there. Whether it’s been a few weeks or a year since I last saw what Brooke and Ridge were up to, it’s wonderfully easy to jump back in, because nothing ever happens. There’s a comfort in that.
That’s much of the appeal of The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills. In the land where it takes Kyle Richards three years to imply she could date a woman, dynamics rarely shift, and drama rarely rises above the surface. Life in the hills is all about taking the high road, a wise woman once said, after all.
The state of purgatory is one of pleasures and lifestyles we could never afford, and the Housewives are devoted to the eternal sacrifice of giving us plebes something to complain about. Three episodes into Season 15, RHOBH is delivering the old-school season we’ve all clamored for—and that means a dearth of drama, a slowly integrated newbie, and simple conversations on what it means to be a Housewife, in lieu of the explosions we’ve come to expect from The Real Housewives of Salt Lake City.
This week’s cute little foray takes us to Bozoma Saint John’s speed dating event, bringing the single ladies of Beverly Hills together with some eligible bachelors. It’s about what you’d expect—Kyle hiding in a corner, Rachel Zoe elevating above everyone, Sutton falling for a guy who fancies Erika—and it’s fun, even if superfluous.
Was this a casting call for Love Hotel Season 2, perhaps? If so, give that lawyer who seems scummy a contract. Dorit and Sutton, you have also been granted entry to the Love Hotel. As for the rest, you can keep dating off-screen.
To be fair to Kyle, the biphobic event didn’t even give her a chance to find the next Morgan Wade. She’s done her time dating middle-aged real estate moguls. Now, it’s time to “go Angelina,” as Kyle puts it. That’s a quote she immediately came to regret, even if it’s one of her best, as Kyle’s such a Jennifer Aniston fan.
In the context of the episode, the quote is more milquetoast, although Kyle admitting “gender doesn’t matter” in her search for love is about as blatant as she’s going to get. The thing about Kyle Richards is she’s spent 15 years on TV growing cagier and cagier, every once in a while letting out something profound. Sometimes, she’s frustrating, and sometimes, she’s elevating a frou-frou “picking flowers for my daughter’s wedding” scene to tragic greatness.
That’s what’s nice about this season: The solo stories are engaging, for once. Beverly Hills has often struggled outside of cast trips and group dinners, but the quiet desperation of its main cast has actually invigorated the storytelling. Whether it’s Sutton struggling with the realization her marriage—and the status that came with it—is truly over, or Kyle accepting what it means to be single after defining herself as the wife and mother in Beverly Hills, it’s real in a way RHOBH often isn’t.
That’s where the “Money Queen,” Amanda, comes in to shake things up. She’s a good bit younger than the rest of the women, and her engaged status makes her one of only two (three, including Kathy) cast members to be in a relationship. Hailing from Sand Springs, Oklahoma, where a Friday night meant “walking around Walmart,” Amanda’s got the gritty, power-hungry energy Beverly Hills has needed.
In the world of Housewives, you need the established socialites, a la Countess Luann, and you need the desperate up-and-comers, a la Alex McCord. Whereas Rachel Zoe enters the cast in an impenetrable state of perfection, Amanda radiates a nouveau riche aura that just glitters gold every white-walled scene she’s in.
The episode ends with a lunch between Amanda, Boz, and Dorit, the cast’s greatest grifters, all coming together. Whereas Boz jumps from company to company giving “bada-- workshops” and Dorit starts bikini and bridal lines that barely exist, Amanda rolls up with masterful manifestations. She is the girlboss final boss.
“I started out as a therapist and life coach, and later a business coach. As my audience grew, and I wanted to help more people, I began to create online courses to help people create both the professional and personal life of their dreams,” she shares in a confessional.
“Most people who teach on money focus on the practical aspects of money, exclusively. I think the practical aspects are really important, but I think the foundation is our relationship with money, which involves the psychological, the emotional, and the energetic.”
Whatever that means! I will not question the “Money Queen.” That’s the IRS’s job.
Watching Amanda give Dorit a pep talk is so invigorating because she speaks so many words and says absolutely nothing. Really, that’s just speaking Dorit’s language. I think Ms. Money Queen should embezzle one of her castmate’s money and start some real drama. She should’ve shown up to speed dating to rope some of those men into an investment plan.
For now, that’s all for The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills before the holidays. In the new year, a trip to Sedona brings Erika dating rumors, and the beginnings of what looks to be some tensions between her and Amanda. This Christmas, may we manifest something truly salacious.
