Stephen Colbert has shredded President Trump’s big moan at allies in Europe, who he told to “Go get your own oil!”
Trump snapped at NATO powers, including the U.K. and France, after they didn’t leap in to help him wage war in Iran or reopen the Strait of Hormuz, the blockage of which has caused oil prices to spiral.
In a Truth Social post, Trump, 79, chided countries “like the United Kingdom,” telling them to buy U.S. oil to navigate price hikes, or “You’ll have to start learning how to fight for yourself, the U.S.A. won’t be there to help you anymore, just like you weren’t there for us,” he said. “Build up some delayed courage, go to the strait and just TAKE IT… Iran has been, essentially, decimated. The hard part is done. Go get your own oil!”
The Late Show host Colbert eviscerated Trump’s furious attack in his opening monologue.
“Trump seems to be changing his tune because administration officials determined that a mission to pry open the Strait would push the conflict beyond Trump’s self-imposed timeline of four to six weeks. So he’s just walking away from the disaster he created because it’s too complicated.
“It’s a, it’s a military strategy known as starting a thousand-piece jigsaw puzzle,” he said, before adopting his well-used Trump impersonation. “‘Ooh, this is fun. No, wait, maybe I hate jigsaw puzzles. Tell you what, I’m just gonna leave this here on the dining room table for three years. Oop. Found an edge,’” he said.
With his attacks on countries “like the United Kingdom,” Colbert said, “Trump wants to cut and run and pass his problem off to just anybody else.”
He joked, “Yes. No. Yes, he’s right. The hard part is done. Now go do the harder part.
“It’s like Alexander Graham Bell’s famous words: ‘Mr. Watson, come here and invent the telephone.’ If other countries don’t step in, Trump has another even worse idea, which he posted about yesterday.”
Colbert then laid into Trump’s alternative, of “blowing up and completely obliterating all of [Iran’s] electric generating plants, oils, and Kharg Island, (and possibly all desalination plants!), which we have purposefully not yet ‘touched.’”
“First off,” Colbert said, “Someone who’s mentioned in the Epstein files over 38,000 times should not, really, should not put quotes around the word touched. B) deliberately blowing up civilian infrastructure could constitute a war crime.”
Trump has not been accused of any wrongdoing in relation to Jeffrey Epstein, but he does feature heavily in the files.
He is, however, so furious about allies’ refusal to get involved with the Iran war that he told British newspaper The Telegraph that he is thinking of pulling the U.S. out of NATO.
“I was never swayed by NATO. I always knew they were a paper tiger, and [Vladimir] Putin knows that too, by the way,” he said.
The closure of the Strait, through which around one-fifth of the world’s oil supply flows during peacetime, has caused retail gas prices in the U.S. to climb over $4 a gallon.
