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10 Ways Obama Will Update the White House
With a black family moving into the White House for the first time in history, the comedian offers his thoughts on what’s likely to change. Expect Jay-Z on the sound system, a "Pink Room" for the girls, and Oprah’s decorating touch.
1. A beauty salon stocked with black hair care products will be built for Michelle and the two girls. The humidity will kill a sister in D.C.
2. Country music will be banned and replaced with rap, preferably Jay-Z.....the clean version. And hopefully some Earth, Wind & Fire.
3. The staff around the White House will be wearing smiles, getting to work on time and proud to be in the HOUSE.
4. While this change will not happen in the White House per say, it will be a direct result of who is in the White house: More people will be checking "other" when they fill out forms asking them to describe their race.
5. Because President Obama has such beautiful daughters, he will soon be building a secure wing where he will hide them so he will not have to "hurt a brother," "deport a brother," or have a brother "disappeared.”
6. There will be a Pink Room at the White House because his daughter has asked for it, and they are daddy’s girls.
7. Although this brother is an educated Harvard grad and his wife is from Princeton, there will be occasions when CP time will rule the schedule and folks will have to wait.
8. Oprah Winfrey will redecorate the guest room at the White House, and Gayle will help.
9. The president will never use the "back door" at the White House, even if he has to go the bathroom and can not hold it. ‘Nuff said.
10. Occasionally security will have to deal with random brothers and sisters coming to the guard gate and saying, "Tell Barack I need to speak to him...he knows my people."
Sinbad has starred in hit movies like Jingle All the Way, playing opposite Arnold Schwarzenegger; Houseguest, co-starring the late Phil Hartman; and Necessary Roughness, where he did none of his own stunts. He has starred in the television sitcom A Different World as well as his own series, The Sinbad Show.
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Jacob Bernstein is a senior reporter at The Daily Beast. Previously, he was a features writer at WWD and W Magazine. He has also written for New York magazine, Paper, and The Huffington Post.
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Lloyd Grove is editor at large for The Daily Beast. He is also a frequent contributor to New York magazine and was a contributing editor for Condé Nast Portfolio. He wrote a gossip column for the New York Daily News from 2003 to 2006. Prior to that, he wrote the Reliable Source column for the Washington Post, where he spent 23 years covering politics, the media, and other subjects.
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Jeff Madrick is a contributor to the New York Review of Books and a former economics columnist for the New York Times. He is editor of Challenge Magazine, visiting professor of humanities at Cooper Union, and senior fellow at the New School's Schwartz Center for Economic Policy Analysis. He is the author of Taking America, The End of Affluence (Random House) and The Case for Big Government.
No. 1 Reason Sinbad really doesn't have much of a career :
Stuff like this.
One always appreciates a good Sinbad routine; however, I think comedians and satirists are going to have to work harder. After all, Obama is half white, and that half shouldn't be discounted when coming up with comedic concepts and punch lines. Bach will have to meet Jay-Z.
Hey, Bro.... right on Sinbad. You are perfectly correct about all of this. Now, what's going to be on the new, cool, soulful
White House Menu? Please, no watermellon.......
I saw Snoop Dog going in the back door yesterday, just to check out the new dude's pad.... security said nothing!
It's been a long time comin', but change gonna come.... ahhh,
yes it will.
Love the new doo.... very destinguisted. Maybe the Prez will annoint you to be our newest Press Secretary.... we could do a lot worse.
All the best to Barack, et al in the team!
ScreenwriterOne
Wow, this is quite spectacularly unfunny.
I mean, I'm not saying comedians necessarily shouldn't test the boundaries on racial issues, but they should at least try to be actually funny when doing so.
Sinbad,
The year 1985 called.. it wants it's top 10 list back
Way to take Black comedy back 20 years. None of this is funny whatsoever. This is morbidly boring and worse unoriginal.
Oh and Sinbad - it's "per se" not "per say." It's Latin.
I expect this from Sinbad, but from The Daily Beast I expect a lot more.
Hilarious in a recent "Always Sunny in Philadelphia" episode.
You had "First Black President moving into the White house" to work with and this is the best you could come up with? Really?
This is so unfunny it offends me.
Ummm...what?
It's comments like these that perpetuate the myth...He wasn't funny in the 80's and I see nothing's changed. Let's reject this nonsense at every turn and move forward in getting our country back on track. The world is watching and waiting for us to return to our place of prominence
To the Daily Beast:
Please reject this nonsense in all forms. Move forward with this country. Stuff like this only wieghs us down.
di toe ... and apparently this is the first example of "No, we can't"
Boo, and double boo.
boring
Thank you.
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