Thank you Melissa for all that you have done and continue to do for the GLBT community. .

Amen to that! I'm from New York, but I'm planning on moving with him when he gets into Med school. We were thinking about California...now we're a little disheartened. But I agree: the fight goes on.

I can not believe this happened in Cali. How consenting adults wish to live their private lives is none of the government's business. There should have been a proposition to tax religious properties.

This comment has been removed by The Daily Beast's editors.

How eloquently stated. How can anyone in their right mind not read this and see the light.

Melissa, I am extremely sorry at this latest show of bigotry by what I thought was one of the most liberal states in the US. I have no idea how you can put up some question of right to equality to vote. I am sure that if put to vote, Browder vs Gayle too would have lost public favour in Alabama in 1956. Equality is a basic right promised by the Constitution, interpreted by the Supreme Court. It is neither fair nor right to allow that right to be repealed by anyone, much less by a plebiscite. I am also distressed that majority of blacks voted against Prop 8. One would think it is easier for a community long repressed to understand discrimination. I hope California redeems itself sooner than later, just as the country has itself (by voting Obama).

You
go
girl!

Uh, MattyfromtheBX, I'm not gay myself, but you are an idiot. Why do gay people have to convince people that gay marriage will "benefit society" in some way? There is no sane, rational argument for how gay marriage harms society. And you seem to agree that gay people should be allowed to get married, but you think they shouldn't have the right because they haven't argued for it the right way? WTF!? Any by Melissa Ethridge writing that she doesn't want to pay her taxes because she doesn't have the same rights isn't sensationalizing the issue, she is making a point. She is angry and has a right to be angry. Why should gay people settle for a "civil union" with the "same rights". What if black people were told to settle for a civil union. Interracial marriage between a white and black person used to be outlawed. It wasn't okay for a black man and white woman or black woman and white man to be allowed to have a "civil union", the law changed to allow for them to get married. Why can't gay people have the same rights?

No, gay people are born "every day." Not "everyday."

MattyfromtheBX, I believe Ms. Etheridge is venting here. This is not intended to be a well-reasoned argument in favor of gay marriage. Calm yourself.

Melissa -

I believe you may be missing the point here.
I will make a couple of things clear first. One. I am not a resident of California, nor do I ever hope to be. That being said, I did not vote for or against Prop 8. Two. While I am not gay, I do have many friends in the gay community. With that being said, do not take my remarks as anti-gay.

The piont of my comment is this: simply because a proposition passed opposite of your favor not allowing your union with your wife to be consdiered legal by the state does not open the door for you to stop paying your state (or federal, for that matter) income taxes. Those taxes contribute to paying for services that you and the others in the gay population of California use on a day to day basis, along with your family. Denying funds for these services, in my mind, means that you no longer plan to use them, and therefore are leaving the state of California.

I would also argue your comment about being considered a second-class citizen becuase of this. If I am correct, you and your wife wed long before California passed the legislation to make your union recognized by the state. Did you consider yourself to be second-class at the point of your marriage? I'm going with no.

I encourage you to pick yourself up and fight for your rights. However, following through on your claim not to pay your state income taxes is rediculous. After all...government moves slow enough...do you want this process to move even slower due to a lack of funding?!

Wow that was a brilliant comment by MattyBX....I agree about the civil union being the same in principal as a marriage (at least as far as I know). Also, Melissa you do technically have the same rights as everyone else: you can get married. You just have to marry someone of the opposite sex. Now don't get me wrong, I am pro-gay marriage because the government shouldn't regulate that sort of thing. But like Matty points out, the arguments here are deeply flawed. I really REALLY hope the Cali revenue service comes after you if you don't pay your taxes. That is ridiculous, and guess what I had to pay taxes before I had the "right" to purchase alcohol or the "right" to vote. Should we be exempt from taxes until we are 18 or 21 and "have the same rights as everyone else"? My last issue with this suprising vote was that Florida and California voted for Obama (a Dem) and then voted against gay marriage?! WTF?! Gay marriage is arguably the most innocuous of Democratic positions. At least as opposed to abortion or socialized healthcare.

I registered just to leave a comment on this piece.
Although I am not gay, I feel your frustration and anger.
Kisses and hugs to you and your family. And don't stop fighting! Not when you've come this far!

Uh satyricaldude, if she wants to vent she can blog or call her mommy. I would thumbs down this article if it were on the Cheat Sheet if as you say it doesn't have to be a well-reasoned article. And spreadthelove: the point about gay people settling for civil union if it gives the same rights as marriage is that Melissa's argument loses all value and merit if she is not in fact being denied any rights except the right use the word marriage....and finally neerajamb black people voted to keep gay marriage by a margin of roughly 2 to 1 in California. Check your facts.

Matty -

1. I think it's great when someone refers to another group as a unit, as in "the gays". You don't hear much talk about "the straights".

2. Prohibiting murder is not legistlating morality: it is weighing the rights of two individuals and indicating that one person does not have the right to infringe upon another's right to live.

Sorry, try again.

What the first comment listed above fails to grasp is that civil unions do NOT offer the same legal rights and protections that marriage offers. In fact there are over 1200 various rights and protections that are not covered by civil unions.

As Ms Etheridge points out in her first paragraph, there are multiple historical, and judicial, precedents that fly in the face the passing of Prop 8 not the least of which being Brown vs The Board of Education that ruled the concept of "seperate but equal" is inherently unconstitutional. Yes, Yes I am aware that I am doing a little legal fudging because distinctions based on race are held to a much higher scrutiny than those based on sexual orientation. FOR THIS MOMENT. The fact is that the struggle for gay rights is this centuries struggle for civil rights and no billionaire-funded-proposition-of-hate will stop that struggle. It will merely postpone the inevitable. Four and a half years ago I stood on the steps of the courthouse in Provincetown Mass. and watched couple after couple walk out with marriage licenses in hand and Wednesday morning I saw a black man win the election for the President of the United States.I never believed either of those things would happen in my lifetime. The campaign of lies and hated that fueled the passing of Prop 8 will only delay what WILL eventually occur. Enjoy you moment while you have it, for our time is coming.........

Matty, you are absolutely correct that it is a common sense issue. However, you're wrong that "civil union" has the same rights as a "marriage". Couples that are "married" have the right to adopt children, however gay couples who, scientifically, cannot have children can NOT adopt children, because the label of "civil union" does not allow them to. So, with the country being more against abortions, more unwanted children will be born without loving parents...

If that's not enough, here's another one. In the midst of one gay person's death, his/her partner would not obtain the property of the dead person, because they are not "married". The property would, instead, go to the relatives of the dead person...

Try to be empathetic. Cut and past this comment into Word, and, replace the words "gay" to "straight", and the labels "civil union" to "marriage". Is that common sense? I bet you'd agree with me that it isn't. You have your valid arguments, and the gay community has theirs, but I would highly recommend that you change your line of judgment.

I am not a gay person, so I hope this comment is not "emotional" to you. However, the gay community fights for this right with passion, just as the black (and non-white in general) community fights with passion for racial equality, and soldiers fight with the passion to protect this country. Don't be ignorant to be one of the people who "just don't want to hear it", that's the reason why the country's political standing is in jeopardy.

And just so that we are honest, I'm not even American!

I loved reading this article as well as the one she wrote before Prop 8 passed. I am a happily married, heterosexual woman and yet I agree with Melissa's sentiments 100%. I may just print out the two articles and hand them to any one who feels that gays are not worthy of all the rights that any American has. And then ask them how they can believe such a thing.

Matty -
All good points you make... the black schools were just as good as the white schools. The seats in the back of the bus are just as nice as the seats in the front of the bus.

The Supreme Court long ago decided separate is not equal...plain and simple.

The "civil union" argument is tantamount to "separate but equal", it just doesn't hold water. All humans deserve to have ALL human rights.

As a Canadian, Prop 8 and the other ridiculous initiatives that passed elsewhere in the US on Tuesday don't apply to me. As upset as they make me, they don't infringe on my rights.

As a gay man, I must admit I'm at somewhat of a loss for words. In this day and age, to have people who would proudly purport to be from the land of the free actively seek to take something so coveted away from a group of people is heart-wrenching and disgusting in equal measure.

To Melissa and all the others hurting over this ridiculous outcome, all I can say is how sorry I am that this has happened. It may not be much in the way of consolation, but if there's one thing that all of us 'mos should have learned by now it's that solidarity can do amazing things, and you've got millions of people north of the 49th who are just as bewildered over this, and very much behind you for the future.

I agree with Melissa E. 111%. Thank you for articulating it, I am forwarding this to everyone I know. The backlash starts...now.

spreadthelove, you are obviously the idiot. You are another example of emotional irrational ranting. Racism and gays not calling civil unions marriage IS NOT THE SAME THING. To compare the two is absurd. Gay couples actually DO share the same rights as married couples, just under a different term. To say that is it the same as it being illegal for blacks and whites to marry just exposes your own ignorance.Where did I say I don't think they should marry because they don't argue their case right? Can you read? I said they would get what they want and what I think they deserve if they argued their case in a way the majority of American society would accept.You have to know who your dealing with and make your argument in a way that makes sense to them. Just saying think like I think doesn't work.Next time use a couple of brain cells before you post.

Let's be honest, people who don't want to give gays the right to marry are fixated on the sex they have. Take that out and it is just two people committing to each other.

If they were honestly "defending marriage" they would be tilting at other windmills - divorce comes to mind as one big threat to marriage. Why not make that unconstitutional?

Marriage is not a sexual agreement, that should be obvious to anyone paying attention, particularly to heterosexuals.

Enjoy the economic collapse, heterosexual bigots. I left the U.S. years ago for a place where gays have rights. And it is the BLACK churches that have traditionally led the murderous gay hating political parade. Obamanation. Just as it is the African churches that have torn apart the Church of England with their anti-gay hatred.America is dead. Bury it to stop the smell.