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Facebook Kicked Me Out
As controversy about Facebook's new terms of service heats up, Howard Bragman questions why his account was disabled—Exactly which part of having a lot of friends violates the rules of social networking?
Irony rarely shocks me anymore, but imagine my surprise last week when I was kicked off the social networking site Facebook for being social and for networking.
Let me give you the backstory. I have been on Facebook for many months but started using it actively the past three months in advance of the launch of my book. I thought it would be a good way to let friends and fans know about my media appearances, book signings, and maybe even sell a book or two. So I began making friends.
I am not a shy man. I have been on this earth more than 50 years and in public relations for 30 years. Needless to say, I know a lot of people. Add to this regular media appearances, an aggressive speaking schedule, and the fact that mine is the first name on the door of the largest entertainment PR firm in the world and it’s safe to say a lot of people know me, too.
I received a response telling me that they had received my appeal and the message was basically, ‘Don’t call us—we’ll call you.’
So I made friends. And when you make friends on Facebook, you get to see your friends’ friends. If I were home watching television or had a spare moment at my desk, I would ask people I knew, and interesting friends of friends, to add me as their friend. At the same time, literally hundreds of people were inviting me to be their friend—some I knew and many who I didn’t but I saw no reason to say no. After all, who doesn’t want a friend?
As I was adding friends, I would occasionally get a warning from the Facebook gods that I was engaging in abusive behavior and potentially violating their terms of service. But none of these warnings mentioned how I was being abusive. I looked at their terms of service and saw nothing about adding friends and decided to ignore these warnings. Last week, as I was inviting new friends at a vigorous rate, my Facebook page suddenly crashed.
I tried logging in to no avail. Then I got an email telling me my account was disabled because I had violated their terms of service on multiple occasions and if I wanted I could email an appeal.
Just when I had come to understand the site and use it productively both professionally and personally I was denied. This was frustrating—really frustrating. I had inadvertently become a social-media pariah.
So appeal I did. I wrote back to the email provided and assured them that I wasn’t malicious—just friendly. And told them that they should Google me if they wanted to verify who I was and how many people I really knew. I received a response telling me that they had received my appeal and the message was basically, ‘Don’t call us—we’ll call you.’
John Talks Joe
Lloyd Grove is editor at large for The Daily Beast. He is also a frequent contributor to New York magazine and was a contributing editor for Condé Nast Portfolio. He wrote a gossip column for the New York Daily News from 2003 to 2006. Prior to that, he wrote the Reliable Source column for the Washington Post, where he spent 23 years covering politics, the media, and other subjects.
Why America Must Learn to Bow
Martin Jacques is the cofounder of the UK think tank Demos, writes a regular column for The Guardian, and is a visiting research fellow at the London School of Economics Asia Research Centre. His new book, When China Rules the World, is available now.
Going Rogue: The Index
Christopher Buckley's books include Supreme Courtship, The White House Mess, Thank You for Smoking, Little Green Men, and Florence of Arabia. He was chief speechwriter for Vice President George H.W. Bush, and is editor-at-large of ForbesLife magazine. His new book is Losing Mum and Pup, a memoir. Buckley's Daily Beast column is the winner of an Online Journalism Award in the category of Online Commentary.
I don't think I want to live in a world where this matters.
Well, on one hand, I can understand your frustration but, on the other, I like the fact that FB makes an attempt to keep it's users "real" and discourages this kind of "social marketing". There are plenty on venues available to push your book. I don't know all of my FB friends in "real life" but I have some kind of real world connection and certainly common interests with all of them and none have ever tried to sell me anything.
P.S....Being a PR guy...you should really consider changing your lastname to something that really tells us who you are, like Boastguy or Selfflatulate.
How on earth did you ever communicate with people before Facebook?
Why don't you start a group on Facebook instead of "friending" all of these people on your personal Facebook page. I believe that might be a more appropriate venue and would be less restrictive in terms of social marketing.
I think the word is OBNOXIOUS. Am sure most FB'rs are bummed they reinstated him-sell a book or two...gimme a break.
I can't believe what passes for a 'story' on this awful website. Yet here I am, reading the crap. Agree with acherryghost, especially on the name!
I'm surprised this is a "front page" article on TDB.
It's good Facebook has such means of protecting its users, because I really dislike aggressive self promoters sending unsolicited emails and offers just to make a penny off of the masses.
The article itself made the author sound pathetic, disorganized, obsessive, and in possession of an overdose of self-importance.
Besides, Bragman, why would a highly successful (and I imagine well-off) PR man such as you make Facebook such a strategically important part of a PR campaign? Good grief, you were sent into panic mode over the weekend... because of facebook?!? You were acting like an obsessed stalker looking for a way to get in touch with a teen-aged girl you saw on the bus.
@whodak
I agree on all points. I am astounded at the drivel that passes for content on this site at times.
I don't have nearly enough time in my schedule to deal with the 50 or so Facebook friends I have, and all the related Facebook activities they try to involve me in. Howard has way too much time on his hands...
ooohhhhhh just the tiniest bit disingenuous!!
Mr. Bragman, you stated that "It all felt a little creepy and Big Brother-esque" to you. I suggest that you pay attention to that feeling.
I also got that feeling after my first three weeks of the Facebook experience, and decided to eliminate, close, terminate my participation in that Cyberspace world.
However, I haven't found a way to get my account disappeared, and regretably still have a presence on the
Big Brother-esque site.
The more deeply people immerse themselves in the cyberworld, the further they take their lives away from the very gift of their lives. It is indeed CREEPY!
I suggest that you get out now, while you can. Your real life will be over soon enough!
but if he's the cool kid on facebook then i can't be it...
while not exactly "newsworthy" this post was pretty funny..and given the depressing nature of news lately, im happy to read some happy fluff.
one of my friends had a similar problem - they said she had "contacted/friended" too many people. her "email privileges" were put on hold for 3 days. but really, she was just friending or sending messages to people that she knew.
but howard, while i appreciate your friendliness, perhaps you should have a fan or group page to reach out to people regarding your book...and then have friends separately...having a group is a more efficient way of publicizing/keeping interested people informed, because you can send out newsletters and create events (like your speaking engagements).
The people who run facebook sound like really anal retentive control freak big brotherish nanny state assholes!
So what if you send a lot of friend requests?
It's up to those individuals to not accept you, not to the Facebook Gods to tell you how many friends to have!!!
What a bunch of douchebags!
Facebook is an ever-growing influence in people's lives. Someday, there will be an entire generation of people who cannot imagine life without it, just as there are millions now who have never known life without a personal computer in their home and office, or life without a mobile phone. I've seen several senior citizens with Facebook accounts, though.
It is an interesting phenomenon. I'm not quite as old as Bragman, but like him, I'm rather fascinated by how pervasive it has become.
Many people start blogs to keep friends and family informed on what is going on in their lives. Facebook does this better, and the up-to-the-minute gratification makes it easier to disseminate information quickly.
I joined Facebook recently with some reluctance, because I'd had too many people ask me, "Why aren't you on Facebook yet?" I cited privacy concerns, believing that there is simply far too much personal information "out there", and identity theft is becoming more commonplace. But Facebook seems to understand this, and helps users to address these issues. I remain wary, however.
I can certainly imagine life without Facebook, having lived over 40 years without it, but like my PC and mobile phone, it is a tool that I now use daily and it makes my life a little easier and more interesting. I've learned things about friends of mine that might have taken many more months of face-to-face social interaction to learn. Most of the people I know don't have time to actively blog, but they can spare a few random minutes per day to share information.
Bragman would have been a fool to ignore the impact and influence of Facebook. Just look at how successfully the Obama campaign utilized it these past few years. Facebook is a great way to reach uses who might be interested in Bragman's book and his work. He is using it just as his PR firm uses a website.
If you cannot understand his frustration and chagrin at being temporarily locked out of it (and unable to get answers or resolution without another's intervention), try having your mobile phone service shut off for a few days, or perhaps your email service interrupted. Not happy prospects, as anyone who has ever had that happen to them can attest.
I recently read this same article in CosmoGirl.
I signed up for Facebook to promote my Internet writing but dumped it recently because it reminded me of a particularly excruciating, ongoing cocktail party, in which you're supposed to be fascinated and/or impressed by every little daily event of someone else's life and how many friends they have, whether they're your actual friends or friends of friends. And, because people from my very distant past were suddenly leaping out of the webwork to ask if it was really me. No thanks.
You're better off w/o it!
This is another blog I don't know if it is true or not.
Lets say it is true, then I would suspect friends of friends were complaining that they were being spammed by a man who is fiftyish, and was trying to sell his book possibly the complaint included printout images of messages left on friends of friends' wall, that looked like a man who is fifyish was trying to sell his book and was ruining the atmosphere for them.
It is like walking into a party of twenty and thirty somethings and changing the whole purpose to the event to sell your book.
If you look at Danielle Steel's website, you see can how professional she is. It is the fan's option to join the Danielle Steel's fan club. She isn't spamming friends of friends to get them to join.
I have been on her email list for years so I could forward emails to my mother. She sends mass emails with holiday greetings and news related to her work. After my mother died I continued to stay on the list.
http://www.randomhouse.com/features/steel/
I wish FB would kick ME out. I've been trying to close my account for months...and a friend...the bricks and mortar kind...told me he'd been trying too. I think 'they' and whoever their current and future customers are, have my ID info for good.
seriously.... who cares...
What are you 14 years old?
This is a pointless column. There are a so many spam bots that degrade the user experience on sites like Facebook that it makes sense that they would put in systems to prevent it. FB is not built to be like a Myspace where you have 30,000 friends - that's why they have their fan pages and groups.
Howard Bragman's failure to understand the insignificant event he just went through only shows how ignorant he is of social networking and the internet in general. Instead of feigning outrage and disbelief why not find something actually interesting to write about?
This user is no longer registered.
I think Bragman has missed the point a bit. The whole intent of Facebook (originally) was to connect with your friends and keep up with them. It is not to have 1,000 acquaintances so you can sell books.
Thank you.
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