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The Audacity of Poping
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The much-married Newt Gingrich converts to Catholicism this weekend—and I’d pay a year’s salary to have been a bug on the wall during his religious instruction.
Brace yourselves for a tsunami of punditry this weekend, when the much-married Newt Gingrich is received into the Catholic Church.
This would ordinarily be a private occasion, but Newt Gingrich is not ordinary. He is (I hedge) probably the most interesting putative candidate on the right at this point. Google “Gingrich” and “2012” and your hard drive will melt under a trillion hits. So attention to this event must and will be paid.
Click Here To View The Daily Beast's Gallery Of 12 Famous Converts.
BTW: “Poping” in the headline above, which—sorry—I couldn’t resist, is the traditional, British pejorative for “becoming a Catholic.” Did you hear the news? Bertie just Poped! There will be an undercurrent of anti-Catholic bias in the commentary about Mr. Gingrich’s embrace of Rome. As the saying goes, anti-Catholicism is the anti-Semitism of the intellectual class.
He and Mother Church—from whose tender embrace I myself have regrettably lapsed—will both be made out to be appalling hypocrites. Who among us should throw stones? But Mr. Gingrich’s marital history is a matter of public record, and it is not tidy. He first married at age 19, to his 26-year-old former high-school geometry teacher and then, so the story goes, presented her with divorce terms after she was wheeled out of cancer surgery.
Mrs. Gingrich #2 was dumped after her husband had carried on an extramarital affair with a fetching, blond congressional staffer named Callista Bisek, who went on to become the present Mrs. Gingrich #3. This Family Values paradigm was complicated by the fact that whilst Mr. Gingrich was filibustering Ms. Bisek over the Speaker’s desk, he was simultaneously leading the impeachment charge against a naughty president of the United States.
To be sure, Mr. Gingrich has since been at pains to emphasize that it was not Mr. Clinton’s naughtiness that he minded, but his perjury. Well, OK, but really, sir. As the noble Rochefoucauld taught us, “Hypocrisy is the homage that vice pays to virtue.”
As for Mother Church, she’ll come in for drubbing this weekend for seeming two-faced about the sanctity of marriage. As you know, divorce is still not allowed in the Catholic Church. But here insert a large “however”—she is liberal in the granting of annulments.
Mrs. Gingrich #2 publicly ventilated her displeasure back in 2000 after she received a letter from the Archdiocese of Atlanta informing her that her marriage was being annulled—that is, rendered ex post facto invalid—on the grounds of “ligamen.” She had been married previously, so in the eyes of the church her marriage to Mr. Gingrich simply did not take place.
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Word has it he's been in confession now for two days. He is now up to eleventy-billion Hail Mary's and 2.5 million Lord's Prayer
Ah, Rex Mottram courted Lady Julia Flyte in the Brideshead Revisited, not Julian.
Chris:
Marry a Catholic is my advice.
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So Newt
Has joined
The medieval men's club.
A match made
In heaven
For sure.
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A club created for pedophiles and hypocrites.
How ripe that Buckley is wagging a finger at Gingrich's ethical bona fides when Buckley's marital past is so pristine: having a long extra-marital affair, fathering a son he won't acknowledge or talk to, leaving wife for younger strumpet, etc. Hypocrisy IS the due that vice pays to virtue.
If we judge one by the company they keep, this is yet more proof that "God" is either a fool or a farce.
Christopher Buckley is a marvelous writer. I sighed, I laughed. I chuckled and I looked up words in the dictionary. All-in-all my favorite read of the week.
Pope goes the weasel.
The following phrase captures The Newt perfectly:
"He first married at age 19, to his 26-year-old former high school geometry teacher..."
Throughout his long and evil career, The Newt has specialized in talking people who should know better into emotionally satisfying but otherwise doubtful courses of action.
Your brother in Crisis,
Texican
Newt is undoubtedly going to come in for a lot of teasing (or worse) however things of faith should be treated with care. All of us are sinners (even Christopher Buckley) All of us have things in our personal history we are less than proud of (even Christopher Buckley). Forgiveness is a tenet of the Christian Faith and the Catholic Church and I for one will welcome Mr. Gindgrich into the Faith and assume he is sincere and repentent. I suggest Mr. Buckley whose sense of humor and political wisdom of late has started to show signs of being tone deaf.
I'm sad to see the anti-Catholicism get a head start on this comment page.
Not since Chris Angel has the Public waited so long and so patiently for a man to successfully extricate himself from a small enclosed box.
Those who seek truth find the Catholic Church.
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OMG! How many hidden, illegitimate kids does Newty have? Oh, sorry. That queston might hit too close to home for the author w/silly hat sucking his eyeglasses (still).
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Ah, Newt Gingrich. All the best in your conversion. I remember the good old days when Republicans had a non-laughable agenda not (overly) padded with culture wars. I still disagree with it, but at least it was an honest declaration of policy intent.
I doubt today's Limbaugh/Coulter Republicans can manage to produce a Contract With America 2010. Without a real opposition party to give us some perspective, Democrats feel the need to squabble with each other over minutiae.
Offensive or nae, "Poping" is an inherently funny word. Mr. Buckley is why I come to The Daily Beast, and I'll stay as long as he's writing here.
I have two questions for Mr. Gingrich. Why does you need to become a Catholic in order to worship alongside your wife? And given your current faith, I'd ask which of youe children do you love the most? The first born? The second, third, fourth? Does God only love those that convert?
I too came to the The Daily Beast, having first heard about it via Mr Buckley. But I'll stay anyway, because it's a damn fine news website.
Having been raised Catholic and having gone to Catholic school for nine years, here is all you need take away from the church to live a good life. I heard this story from my religion teacher and it's the equivalent of the founding fathers' quote "Be just and good".
After the bombing of Japan, the U.S. army was stabilizing the region. Naturally the Catholic church saw a juicy opportunity for more worshippers and began building churches.
A priest one day witnessed a young Japanese boy stealing a bucket of nails. The boy was then selling the nails to a local metal recycler, in order to feed himself and his sister, since they were orphans.
The priest cornered the boy and told him he would leave him a bucket of nails every day, since the church had more than it could ever use. Long story short the boy grew up and became a priest.
So being Catholic is about taking care of one another and being just and good. It's not about marriage or abortion. And Newt can't ever be truly Catholic because Republicans don't care about anyone but themselves. They don't like welfare, healthcare, or taxing the rich. They luck guns and bombs and profit without any ethics or morals. And if Newt gets into heaven, then I would rather go to hell.
But I'm wondering how he got out of the problem of the first marriage (that is, got it annulled). Were they married by a Justice of the Peace, and thus it wasn't considered a real marriage by the RC Church?
And were he and current wife married by a priest? How could that be, if he is just now converting? I guess non-Catholics can marry Catholics, as long as they promise to raise any kids Catholic.
Alas, I've forgotten most of the rules. But of course, when I was a young Catholic girl in parochial school, we still had to fast from midnight to take communion, and Limbo still existed.
Where did Limbo go? It's somewhere in Limbo, I suppose.
Funny how money cleanses all past sins, either real or perceived.
Lot of truth in this old joke:
"A farmer named Muldoon lived alone in the countryside with a wee dog that he loved and doted on. After many long years of faithful companionship, the dog finally died, so Muldoon went to the parish priest:
"Father, my dear old dog is dead. Could you be saying a Mass for him?"
Father Patrick replied, "I am so very sorry to hear about your dog's death. But, unfortunately, I can't say Mass for the poor creature..."
Muldoon said, "I understand, Father, I do. I guess I'll go to this new denomination down the road; no tellin' what they believe... Do you think $500 is enough to donate for the service?"
Father Patrick: "Why didn't you tell me your wee dog was Catholic?!""
Wanting: "More damage has been done by the Catholic church than good - period." I really am sorry that you feel that way. You are right - The Church has had its fair share of sinners in places where they should not have been or risen to. But that's not really what The Catholic Church is about. What it is really about is demonstrating our love for , and being nice to your neighbors. If Newt wants to come on 'home' to all that, we'll welcome him warmly and kill the fatted calf in celebration. He does though have a problem there with all of the Mrs. Newts...
Thank you.
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