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Mark Katz

The Beer Summit

And what about the choice of the man he arrested? When asked to provide the brand of beer he'd like to drink, this brand-name Harvard professor made a list instead of a choice. Red Stripe or Beck's. (Or was it Red Stripe and Beck's?) Either way, while both in the lager/pilsner/watery camp, these beers exist at the polar ends of the brand spectrum, suggesting a bifurcated sense of self. Red Stripe, an inexpensive Jamaican export, gained popularity in the U.S. in lockstep with reggae and Rasta. (Red Stripe also has a lower alcohol content than most, perhaps because those who drink are often already under the influence of something else.) Beck's is also an import whose most germane attribute is its Germanity. It presents itself as the highest ideal of beer as imagined by the people who invented the stuff and take it most seriously. If a bottle of Red Stripe could talk, it would say: "Don't worry—be happy!" Your bottle of Beck's might growl through its thick accent: "You will not worry! You will be happy!" Having trouble choosing between a Red Stripe and a Beck's is like looking up from a menu and saying to the waiter, "I can't decide between the jerk chicken or the bratwurst." Or, in Professor Gates' case, I can't decide whether to politely ask you to leave my house, or threaten to blitzkrieg your career.

Sgt. Crowley escapes the stereotype of a shot-and-a-beer beat cop and instead conjures the image of a striving Yuppie sipping an artisanal sangria.

And then there is the choice of President Barack Obama—himself arguably the most exciting and powerful brand so far this century. Which is why his choice seems so disappointing: Budweiser. The "King of Beers" is so ubiquitous that requesting one is practically the opposite of making a choice. "Gimme a Bud" is what you say when you’d rather punt on choice altogether. It's hard to imagine that too-cool-for-school, organic-garden-in-the-White-House Barack "Barry" Obama has a secret thirst for Budweiser, over a rich Magic Hat No. 9 or Smuttynose Old Brown Dog Ale. Here is a man who just a few weeks ago boldly opted to put Dijon mustard on his hamburger! Was this past week so bad that he felt the need to identify himself with the safe choice of asking for the Heinz ketchup of beers? For a guy who used to give stirring speeches from the stage of the Parthenon, the president’s decision to order a Bud was disturbingly uninspired.

Obama got himself in the middle of this mess by saying the police acted "stupidly” which is how he now finds himself hosting a kegger. Beer is the official beverage of "stupidly"—and "stupidly" is the brand of rhetorical response to a racial flashpoint that the White House hopes a couple of beers can help him unlaunch.

Plus: Check out Hungry Beast, for more news on the latest restaurants, hot chefs, and tasty recipes.

A former political operative, recovering copywriter, and failed sitcom writer, Mark Katz is now the founder and principal of the Soundbite Institute, a creative think tank that specializes in on-message humor. His essays have been published in The New Yorker, The New York Times, and Time magazine, and he is the author of CLINTON & ME: A Real Life Political Comedy, an account of eight years as the in-house humor speechwriter of the Clinton White House.

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July 28, 2009 | 11:56pm
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crymeariver

My money was on Heineken as the beer of choice for President Obama. But Budweiser? Talk about punishment.

Sgt. Crowley's choice of Blue Moon was awesome, it threw all the reporters off.

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2:45 am, Jul 29, 2009

netzirk

Budweiser is not even American owned any more. They sold out to InBev a Belgian brewer for an astronomical amount of money. So technically it's a domestic import owned operation from a company that also owns microbrews... what's the difference. Screw it, I would have gone for the Pacifico. Does putting a lime in it make me classy?

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1:48 pm, Jul 30, 2009

JoeBuck15

Heineken!!!??? FUCK THAT SHIT!!! Pabst Blue Ribbon!!

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6:18 pm, Jul 30, 2009

kilchis

I dunno,is "Bud" union-made?That'd make a difference.Personally I would have gone with the local Micro,Capitol Brewing for everybody,hell he's buying."Coors is anti-union,anti-environment,anti-women and it tastes awful" (circa 1970 sticker).

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4:15 am, Jul 29, 2009

tv61-75

The text accompanying picture #5, the elder President Bush, refers to "the president of Japan". When did Japan become a republic?

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5:11 am, Jul 29, 2009

This user is no longer registered.

n--Y--MagiFox
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7:34 am, Jul 29, 2009

OHNOTAGAIN

Why not an imported beer, everything else in America is imported. Hope he asks Sgt. Crowley about that false police report, and who exactly told him about the 2 blackmen with backpacks as it is written in the report!!

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9:27 am, Jul 29, 2009

tv61-75

You changed the text. Am I to be credited?

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9:36 am, Jul 29, 2009

larry278

You make a statement with your brew of choice in the USA. WTF, I made a statement when I quit drinking. Long live American polarization. The USA isn't much for being united anymore. This polarization thing has become silly, petty, childishly absurd thing & an endemic condition in the USA.
Who needs it?

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10:00 am, Jul 29, 2009

pclayton

I'll have a "Why Can't We All Just Get Along" lite, thanks.

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10:13 am, Jul 29, 2009

Redhead5050

I lean toward Killian Red or a Sam Adams...

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10:20 am, Jul 29, 2009

desertsurfer

I would think Obama would go for New Belgium brewery home of Fat Tire Beer.
In 1999, New Belgium became the largest private consumer of wind-power electricity at that time and the first wind-powered brewery.
I personally prefer New Belgium Trippel ale

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10:55 am, Jul 29, 2009

JoeHIll

The President should have opted for Yuengling, the oldest beer in America and, IMHO, the only real lager to be found on the market anywhere. Budweiser may be quintessentially American but in a bad way: corporate giant, puts small breweries out of business or buys them outright, bad for environment, product is designed simply to be highly marketable and therefore profitable without regard to actual character or taste. That kind of stuff doesn't strike me as BO's M.O. so I think he should have avoided it.

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11:33 am, Jul 29, 2009

blockaster

When I heard the media blah blah blahing about beer choice, I immediately thought of Obama's pick: Yuengling Black and Tan. I'm surprised no one else suggested.

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2:25 pm, Jul 31, 2009

lastlion

One reason he might not have chosen Yuengling is that he was sitting down to a beer with two Bostonians. As someone who used to live in DC and now lives in Boston, I miss Yuengling, because it's not available in the northeast, at all. No liquor stores can carry it, no bars can serve it. I asked a liquor store owner why, and he said he tried for months to get it and they wouldn't let him sell it up here. I don't know all the reasons behind this, but Obama might not choose it because he'd be getting a beer his guests generally aren't allowed to have.

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10:07 pm, Sep 14, 2009

marinersarenumber1

Micros all the way. Help the small business brewer. I live in Beervana:

http://beervana.blogspot.com/2007/07/beervana-bests-best-portland-brewpu b.html

Lucky Lab - Super Dog (me) Ninkasi - Total Domination (kec) Budweiser (gut rot and headaches)

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12:38 pm, Jul 29, 2009

daveinboise

Go down Hawthorne for a block and a half and have a IPA at Root's. Way better then Lucky Lab!

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11:41 am, Jul 31, 2009

marinersarenumber1

Roots has decent beer. The place is dinky, though. I really fail to see the "way better" part of your statement. Lucky Lab's Super Dog has been around longer than Root's IPA (a more refined, and tastier recipe), has been distinguished by more local beer judges than Roots, and almost always sells out by late Friday or early Saturday at all locations. I will say this for Roots - they have outstanding hired help.

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11:55 pm, Jul 31, 2009

Texican

Actually, the only thing American and Czech Budweiser have in common is the name, regrettably licensed many years ago and the subject of a long legal battle. Putting rice in pivo will get you killed in the Czech Republic.

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12:41 pm, Jul 29, 2009

Caradog

The future of American industry lies in innovation, creativity, guts and sourcing and producing locally. That means craft brewers, of which there are hundreds of excellent examples. Coors is smart enough to cloak their arch-right politics in the Blue Moon facade, but it's a shame the other two didn't choose to support a truly American product.

The shorthand:
Blue Moon:"I wanna look hip and progressive, but I'm not."
Red Stripe/Beck's: "I'm cool - isn't this what the kids are drinking?"
Bud: "I'm still running from the 'elitist' charicature." Or maybe it was a fig leaf to McCain; his wife owns one of the biggest Bud distributorships in the country. Bud: owned by a Belgian company, controlled by Brazilians.

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12:52 pm, Jul 29, 2009

jefe37

The obvious choice for all three of them should be Avery Brewing's Collaboration Not Litigation Ale. It's a strong dark ale that's a blend from two beers from two breweries (Avery and Russian River, Sonoma CA) accidentally given the same name, so they got together, mixed the two, liked the result and sold the blended ale under this name above.
If things go well, for a second round they could have another Avery ale made in honor of Obama's election named Ale To The Chief.
I wish I would have thought of it sooner so I could suggest it to the president's website.

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1:29 pm, Jul 29, 2009

Cazart

The shorthand:
Blue Moon:"I wanna look hip and progressive, but I'm not." LOL.
Red Stripe/Beck's: "Haile Selassie!"
Bud LIGHT: "I didn't want to look like I put too much thought into this."

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7:03 pm, Jul 30, 2009

OffenbachStutz

They should all drink Duvel. 8.5%. Then they could all get crocked and talk about sex.

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2:04 pm, Jul 29, 2009

bcaldwell

Excellent Choice...Chimay is not bad either.Really when you think about it, the Belgians make a damned good brew. Stella is no slouch either. For American, try a little brewery out of Louisiana- Abita

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3:23 am, Jul 30, 2009
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The Beer Summit

by Mark Katz

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