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Tracy Quan

Bernie Made Off With My Wife

Sheryl Weinstein AP Photo The husband of Bernie Madoff's mistress talks to Tracy Quan about his wife's "cocky" behavior, the sexual comparisons, whether he'll leave her, and why he'll take half her book's profits.

Ron Weinstein has only one thing in common with Bernie Madoff: Sheryl Weinstein, the woman he’s been married to for 37 years.

Last week she appeared on Good Morning America to discuss her mini-memoir, Madoff's Other Secret, an account of her affair with the Ponzi schemer. She has been accused of selling her soul, but the book is required reading, says Ron, for anyone seeking insight into who Madoff is and “what made this man tick.”

"I’ll wait a few months, let my emotions calm down and then I’ll see if I can forgive. Having an affair is not the end of the world, but writing a book and telling everybody about it is unacceptable."

“Who knows him better in this regard, other than his wife, than my wife? She’s known him for twenty years,” he says. “She slept with him for a year and a half. Don’t be so quick to judge my wife,” he adds, although he tried to talk her out of writing the book.

XTRA INSIGHT:
Allan Dodds Frank dissects the SEC's Madoff report.
Citing the Judeo-Christian principles “this country was built on,” he says he told her, “I think the masses are not going to feel a whole lot of empathy for you. I don’t think they understand. I read blogs, I read the comments, and I get nauseous. As hurtful as [the book] is to me, it was probably necessary or she’d be a basket case. It doesn’t mean I have to agree with her, but I understand it. When people write these things on these blogs, what the hell do they know? They’re looking at the surface.” He describes the cliché-ridden attacks—“She cheated on her husband, she’s a money hungry slut”—stops talking in order to collect his emotions, then explains: “I dislike the choice she made. I am not okay with it, but I try to understand it.”

Ron Weinstein is a lean, youthful-looking salesman in his sixties with a full head of salt-and-pepper hair and a rather intense manner which he attributes to his ADHD. Now kept in check by medication, it was diagnosed after many years of marriage and discussed in detail in his wife’s memoir. Ron says Sheryl felt she had “the right to go have this affair” because ADHD made him impossible to live with. While complaints about his hot temper and his screaming (prior to his diagnosis and treatment) are “accurate,” he says, “what she doesn’t share is that she pushed the buttons.”

A week after the publication of his wife's tell-all, Ron is defending her authorial motives, even while protesting that he wasn’t given the opportunity to critique a story in which he happens to be a central character. (“She said it was her book and that if I wanted, I could write my own.") He's wondering how Madoff's Other Secret is doing at Borders, and looking for a way to tell his side of the story.

Article - Quan Weinstein Dancing Sheryl and Ronnie dancing in 1988. (Courtesy of Sheryl Weinstein) He finds himself in the bizarre position of being married to a CPA—“4.0 at Wharton, controller of Lincoln Center, we’re not talking small jobs here”—who has morphed into (and acquired all the quirks of) a professional memoirist. It’s an audacious transformation and probably the most unexpected event in their marriage. But crazy circumstances can strengthen a relationship, so I was curious to find out whether the Weinsteins have a secret recipe for staying together through tough times. Last December they discovered they’d been cleaned out after remortgaging their home to invest yet more of their assets in Madoff’s Ponzi scheme. Hadassah, the Jewish women's organization for which Sheryl served as CFO, also lost millions. In February (according to Ron, though his wife indicates it was January) Sheryl revealed the true nature of her relationship with Madoff to her husband. She was shopping her book.

Although he had joked in the past about the possibility of Sheryl leaving him for Madoff, he was surprised (“With him?!” he exclaimed), but it wasn't the affair itself that bothered him. “I can handle an affair,” he says. “It’s not a big deal. Okay, you jumped in bed with him because he was powerful and he was attentive and you saw a lifestyle that attracted you. And it’s exciting because an illicit love is a hot love.”

Because in many respects, Ron is a quintessentially liberal Manhattan husband. Although Fox is his “network of choice” and he voted for McCain, he’s hardly a social conservative. The Weinsteins move in circles where it’s tacitly understood that some wives play around, too, but they do it discreetly. An extramarital affair isn’t desirable, but Ron doesn’t think it should be the end of a marriage. “Affairs are commonplace and shouldn’t be such a big deal," he says. "However, having an affair with the person who is the biggest crook in the world and stole all my assets is another issue entirely.”

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September 2, 2009 | 6:26am
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Comments ()

MurrayAbraham

Take the cash and run.

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6:44 am, Sep 2, 2009

hockeydog

Pitiful! Just pitiful!
These people's worship at the altar of the holy dollar beats anything.
Pitiful, just pitiful!

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8:30 am, Sep 2, 2009

This user is no longer registered.

n--Y--charles116
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6:33 pm, Sep 2, 2009

Bettie

Isn't that the truth,, damn she is ugly. Poor guy should divorce her,,lots of rich widows out there to pick from.

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11:21 am, Sep 3, 2009

piktor

Oh, this is sooooo romantic!!!!!

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6:51 am, Sep 2, 2009

DBSMITH

Trash writing about trash. Perfect Beast Super-Size Meal.

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6:57 am, Sep 2, 2009

whipmawhopma

DBSMITH - That should read 'Trash writing about trash for trash'. Somebody will be reading this garbage.

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1:32 pm, Sep 2, 2009

exploora

I just skimp her articles, and read the comments. i really don't like the trash she writes.

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2:46 pm, Sep 2, 2009

OffenbachStutz

Where's Jerry Springer when you need him?

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8:18 am, Sep 2, 2009

rahgolf

Why is this domestic a story?

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8:44 am, Sep 2, 2009

rmyurick

Well, it may be "trashy", but without the "small penis" bit, I don't think much attention would've been paid to this, and really, the whole thing's trash isn't it?

Maybe if peoples morals weren't such that "affairs are commonplace", things like Madoff wouldn't happen.

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9:01 am, Sep 2, 2009

kscr14

Move in circles that it is understood that wives play around!!??!. I would say nothing shocked him too much. Fifteen minutes of fame........Yuck.

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9:03 am, Sep 2, 2009

External

What trashy people ? and they evolved in the high-society circle where discretion is supposed to be the norm .........

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9:11 am, Sep 2, 2009

Chuckv

Mr. Weinstein's response is truly admirable. He is in one of the craziest and difficult situations in the history of marriage. Other husbands (and wives) have had to deal with infidelities, theft, spouse's bad judgment, and invasion of privacy, but who has had such a toxic brew all at once?

Nevertheless, he is trying to cope, sympathetic to his wife's problems and mistakes, and taking his time to sort things out. What more could a man do?

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10:20 am, Sep 2, 2009

This user is no longer registered.

n--Y--charles116
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6:34 pm, Sep 2, 2009

ronniew

Just to clear this up for you, I am not claiming, but stating I was not aware of it. My wife told me in January or early February of this year.

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1:01 am, Sep 3, 2009

This user is no longer registered.

n--Y--charles116
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6:40 pm, Sep 2, 2009

spotted

Unless she's packing a pee-pee, I think you mean Playboy.

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7:46 pm, Sep 2, 2009

whatever569

Ron I get it-you are the most rational human being I have read about in a long time. Impressive.

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10:31 am, Sep 2, 2009

briansays

He should call up Ruthie Madoff
She has a lot of free time on her hands

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10:51 am, Sep 2, 2009

keepakeeper43

Ron,
Lots of dizzy, GED, bored housewifes will probably buy your wifes book. I'm sure you'll make a few bucks!
Anyway, Bernie fuked a lotta people!

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11:02 am, Sep 2, 2009

museweaver

family dysfunction at its best!!

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11:25 am, Sep 2, 2009

artois

What a miskeit

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11:54 am, Sep 2, 2009

spotted

What a shlemazel! He's got to stay with that piece of work until she makes enough money for him to divorce her.

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12:56 pm, Sep 2, 2009

Dolmance

If it wasn't for bad mazel, he'd have no mazel at all.

Oy, have I got the blues.

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2:07 pm, Sep 2, 2009

Dolmance

Any man who could stay with a woman who would even imagine writing a book about sleeping with this grifting son of a bitch - is a man who needs to be cheated on regularly and often.

If I really cared, I'd be nauseated. But I don't.

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12:00 pm, Sep 2, 2009

ricky50

If you cared about doing something productive with your life, you might might not have the time to make numerous moronic comments. If you profess not to care, why do you keep writing trash. Why not spend some time doing some volunteer work to fill your boring life.

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1:22 am, Sep 3, 2009
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Bernie Made Off With My Wife

by Tracy Quan

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