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The Year of Women Fighting Back
South Carolina’s first lady Jenny Sanford is ending her marriage after what she calls “many unsuccessful efforts at reconciliation” following her husband’s affair. Rebecca Dana on Sanford and other women who came out swinging this year. Plus, view our gallery of women who fought back.
Even before Tiger Woods’ wife, Elin Nordegren, took a golf club to his Escalade, 2009 was already shaping up to be the Year of Women Not Taking Shit.
Gone, for the moment at least, are the tearful press conferences where a puffy-eyed political wife stares at her feet while her husband confesses his carnal sins. Gone are the cheerful sham marriages held up as totems for the rest of us to emulate. Gone is the nobility of quietly carrying on. We are now fully in the season of not standing by your man.
Whether you should throw a nine iron at him—if, in fact, that’s what the delicate Mrs. Woods did—is not the question. As with all things, there are good, bad, and potentially dangerous and illegal ways of fighting back. The point is: Women are fighting back.
Click Image to View Our Gallery of Women Who Fought Back
In June, we finally got our first truly heroic scorned political wife in Jenny Sanford. Faced with news that her husband, South Carolina Gov. Mark Sanford, had been cavorting with a hot Argentine, the elegant, religious, former investment banker declined to pull a "Silda Spitzer" and saddle up next to her over-tanned Republican spouse for his meandering mea culpa. Instead, she released a sternly worded statement and took off with her sons to a house in the country. She gave a strong, unapologetic interview to Vogue and looked lovely in the accompanying photo.
“It’s all about women feeling their own power and getting comfortable with their own anger,” says actress Susie Essman, who plays Susie Green on Curb Your Enthusiasm.
Eventually, she packed some boxes, called some friends, and moved the hell out.
And on Friday, she filed for divorce with a terse statement saying there were "many unsuccessful efforts at reconciliation."
There’s been a burgeoning movement of women like Jenny Sanford—not a movement in any particular direction, just a movement away. Taylor Swift not only humiliated that virginal twerp Joe Jonas, who dumped her over the phone last year, but turned her heartbreak into a hit record, a hosting gig on Saturday Night Live, and a victory at the MTV Video Music Awards that begat another moment of self-styled girl power, when she stood down bullying from Kanye West. Now Swift is dating international heartthrob Taylor Lautner, star of Twilight and a million teenage girls’ fantasies. And let’s not forget Beyoncé, diva-preacher to single ladies everywhere, who stepped in to save Swift at the VMAs.
And Hillary Clinton, the ultimate modern jilted wife, showed who wore the pantsuit, when she snapped during an interview in Africa, declaring that she was the secretary of State, dammit, not Bill. So what if it was all the result of a translation error, if the questioner wasn’t actually asking her husband’s opinion of a Chinese loan to the Congo? Hillary, queen of calculated indifference, finally asserted her independence—ferociously. (Even fictional women are getting into the act: On Mad Men, Betty Draper finally left serial womanizing husband, Don.)
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Paul Schrodt is a writer living in New York City. He has contributed to New York magazine, Radar, and Esquire.com.
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The Daily Beast is dedicated to news and commentary, culture, and entertainment. We carefully curate the web’s most essential stories and bring you original must-reads from our talented contributors.
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Rebecca Dana is a senior correspondent for The Daily Beast. A former editor and reporter for the Wall Street Journal, she has also written for the New York Times, the New York Observer, Rolling Stone and Slate, among other publications.
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Rebecca Dana is a senior correspondent for The Daily Beast. A former editor and reporter for the Wall Street Journal, she has also written for the New York Times, the New York Observer, Rolling Stone and Slate, among other publications.
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Rebecca Dana is a senior correspondent for The Daily Beast. A former editor and reporter for the Wall Street Journal, she has also written for the New York Times, the New York Observer, Rolling Stone and Slate, among other publications.
crymeariver
You are applauding a grown MOTHER of two taking a golf club and beating up her husband? Seriously? Nice.
I guess this is what is considered responsible journalism in the age of reality t.v. Trashy behavior is the new normal.
sophia5
( " Did Tiger's wife take out her frustrations with a golf club? If so, she joins Jenny Sanford, Betty Draper, and Taylor Swift as scorned women who came out swinging. " )
By putting Wood's wife in the " scorned " category, it sounds like
the columnist is assuming, without knowing all the facts, that Wood's cheated.
Is it a matter of throwing stuff against
the wall without the facts, hoping it sticks
in order to sell hysteria and a column,
and if it does NOT stick . . . " oh ! well " ?
Are we living in the age of be first, no matter the facts,
" shoot first, ask questions later " . . . " Journalism ? "
Does the truth and intellectual honesty matter anymore ?
In the future, I would hesitate to believe ANYTHING this woman writes.
edge6241
Glad to know you're all for a double standard. It's perfectly fine for a woman to beat up a man with a golf club but not for a man to beat up a woman.
You do realize how stupid you sound right? Domestic abuse is domestic abuse. It should not be applauded in any circumstances.
shrink4men
I also wonder what this "journalist's" reaction would have been had Tiger been the one wielding the golf club at his wife. At this point, it's irrelevant whether Mrs. Woods did or did not attack Tiger. The fact that this blogger is touting and applauding female violence directed men as feminism and empowerment of the "sisterhood" is both appalling and disturbing.
I understand bloggers push the envelope and write outrageous material to attract an audience, but come on. If Mrs. Woods took a swing at Tiger she is not a feminist hero; she's guilty of spousal assault and should be prosecuted to the fullest extent of the law just as any man would be who committed the same offense.
I thought feminism wanted to eradicate double standards? Or are double standards okay so long as women get away with bad behavior? Violence is not grrl power; it's violence and it's wrong---no matter how many cocktail waitresses he slept with.
I think most people, bot women AND men, can understand the impulse to lash out physically and verbally when you discover you've been betrayed, but we get ourselves in check and don't act on the impulse.
For the record, I am a woman and it saddens and disgusts me when I see women like Ms. Dana express these views. Grow up and grow a moral compass.
djanimaequeen
Agreed.
manticore1223
Thirded. Tiger's a cheating douche, but as soon as violence is involved, you lose the moral high ground. Calling this feminism is an insult to feminism.
BossChang
again, the pettiness and hypocrisy of these comments is, all at once, amusing and infuriating.
my question is this; given the relentless trashing of the authors, their viewpoints and credentials on this site...why are you members?
i'm always perplexed when i see a conservative posting hateful "lib commie" comments on huffington post and equally confused when there are "you ignorant redneck" statements on drudgereport.
is it that you really have nothing better to do with your time?
Loonford
Rebecca Dana's distorted version of feminism without any ethical or moral framework -- e.g., even when it leads to mindless violence -- is not what the founders of the feminist movement had in mind. This is some infantile interpretation which is corrosive of a civilized society. But maybe she sees feminism as a rationale for any kind of deranged behavior on the part of women to equal deranaged behavior of some men.
pclayton
It looks like no one is impressed by a violent woman, especially if it is in response to (allegedly) catching a cheating spouse. But it makes great headlines; more interesting than "Mrs. Woods files for divorce from Mr. Woods, claiming infidelity." Talk about people enjoying seeing their heroes' feet of clay....
Jaygim
It's called pop post-modernism masquerading as credible op-ed. Before Dana, I am.
Cyclysm
Are we editing The Daily Beast anymore? Exceptionally poor writing and an outlook that reflects a culture gone mad. TDB was suppose to be something bigger than TMZ, but as they do the reporting, this site is left to do the gossiping. And btw, violence and aggression are never justified in domestic affairs.
tolatetocry
I'm not a "fan" of either of these women but Beyonce stepped in to save Taylor Swift? Saw that clip a dozen times on different shows and would say Beyonce helped "herself" by staying classy while the jerk disgraced himself.
Has Elin Woods been charged and found guilty of anything? Tina Brown your little girl writers are running amuck, who is this one related to?
hhickerson
"Little girl writers"? Don't demean female writers/journalists/reporters by calling them "little girl writers." It's offensive and rude.
BTW, your username is spelled incorrectly. Tool.
tolatetocry
hhickerson,
I'm a product of my inner city school education. My pretty white face was needed to maintain social bean counting. All of my teachers were affirmative action, what can I say!
all the writers on this site are here because of their parents, Elizabeth, sonny buckley meghan ronnie jr, I don't know who this chicks parents are but no doubt its how she got her job, her writing is pretty bad you gotta admit! female writers/journalist/reporters demean themselves, nobody has to do it for them. your probably unemployed writer chick with no parents to get you a job at TDB, I feel your pain.
urbancowgirl
tolatetocry:
Articles come with bylines. This author's reads: Rebecca Dana is a culture correspondent for The Daily Beast. A former editor and reporter for The Wall Street Journal, she has also written for The New York Times, The New York Observer, Rolling Stone and Slate, among other publications.
Not a bad resume. Probably didn't need a famous dad to get work.
I don't agree with her viewpoint in this article at all but your horrific treatment of the author, rather than her view, deserved a comment.
tolatetocry
urbancowgirl,
I notice you say, probably, doesn't have father that got her the job!
not for sure, right?
Meghan and Elizabeth have these things you call bylines, they don't mention, my dad ran for president or my dad is the jerk race professor, they don't put important info like that in the byline. wink, nod!
shrink4men
When you can't support an argument, go straight to the ad hominem attack. Nicely done.
mutterhals
He's right, the female writers on this site are worthless. Being a female chauvinist, you took a specific gripe and tried to apply it to all women everywhere.
djanimaequeen
toolatetocry you mentioned buckley but then go on to demean the women. The truth is that there are a lot of bad writers of both genders on TDB so why this beef with just the ladies? You are entitled to your opinion just remember it's not our fault that your mommy didn't love you enough.
Veronicaxy
Beyonce is smart, talented, disciplined & we don't see her in the tabloids for all the wrong reasons. What I did notice though is Beyonce had it both ways: she looked actually delighted and only mock shocked at Kanye's outburst and did absolutely nothing to show him disapproval or shut him down. Then she gave Taylor her moment. Shrewd woman.
djanimaequeen
How was she supposed to shut him down? If Beyonce had butted in when Kanye made an ass of himself she would have been doing the very same thing he was doing: interrupting when it was not her time to speak. She waited until it was her time then graciously gave the moment to Taylor. Why are you making a kind jesture out to be something sinister? I think her actions were very mature.
aackc1
Kanye showed what he really was... and that is a THUG. Beyonce is one of the classiest ladies in that industry as well as her man Jay Z. and she showed that too.
Jaygim
Beyonce and Z are businesspeople. Period. Let's not prop them up as "role models" and play that same game.
DakLak
The Beast is adopting the morals of TMZ and, as they boast, they are owned by a lawyer ... a version of the human species that feeds off the frailties of others.
Ankhorite
By all means, go ahead and try to get your divorce without one.
MugsyKudzu
I agree wholeheartedly. If I were to hear from an unreliable source that my wife had cheated on me, I'd certainly beat the shit out of her with a golf club.
Lets hear it for feminism!
Johnnyappleseed
I'd say a six iron, what say you?
crypto
I can't even believe that this is being followed. This is a personal thing, just as it would be if onyone on here had the same problem. Woods is nuts if he talks to the cops. They're attempting to make something out of this, and it's a personal thing between family. Why does everydody want to stick their nose in it?? If the Woods make any kind of a complaint or file for divorce, we got news. Right now all we have is NOSY.
sonofloud
Meanwhile, Obama places a 6th catholic on the 9 member Supreme Court insuring abortion will soon be outlawed.
Feminists have much bigger problems than cheating husbands.
tolatetocry
nobody is going to take your abortion rights! 2010 is right around the corner, time to gin up the abortion people and the acorns and the gays! dems can't win on economy or national security but they can win on these lame ass social issues. its old and tired but works every time!
djanimaequeen
The dems? You're dim. The cons are famous for what you describe not the dems.
spudsmcgee
The GOP plays the same game; and you guys started the ball rolling with this bailout nonsense. Any street cred your party had in terms of fiscal responsibility and small government was shot with Bush Jr.
urbancowgirl
Just an FYI, some of us Catholics are pro-choice and are very against the Stupak Amendment. Just because I personally wouldn't choose to have an abortiton doesn't mean I won't fight damn hard for others to have that same choice. Don't be so quick to judge.
spudsmcgee
Then you're not a good Catholic. The Catholic Church is very clear about abortion. I'm an agnostic, but if you're going to claim to be a Catholic then consistency would be more respectable. Unless you pick and choose when it comes to which parts of the faith you're willing to adhere to, and only really go to Church because it's something to do on a Sunday. In the eyes of the Church if you fight for women to have access to have abortion you are facilitating murder; not saying the Church is right or wrong, but it is what they believe.
pclayton
I am saddened--but not surprised--by the fact that yet another great male athlete may be a cheater, as is suggested by so many reports of this "accident/incident." It's none of my business what goes on between a man and his wife but when the reports even come up with a possible/probable other woman--a development that happens in just about every 'public' person's marriage today--it sure looks like marriage is temporary at best and a farce in the end. Why do people even bother? If a couple can't be satisfied with great looks, unbelievable talent and ability, a couple of sweet kids and a $ billion, what is a recipe for happiness?
Morlock
nothing in your list mentioned attraction or love. just because someone is an amazing person doesn't mean they make a good mate.
pclayton
Like I said, marriage is temporary at best and a farce in the end. Love? What's love got to do with anything. Lust maybe, not love...
Yakubu
It is almost certainly a lie to say that Tiger Woods cheated on his wife with that foul-mouthed bimbo Rachel Uchital, but feminists are determined to make a prominent man look bad, quietly gleeful at the thought that he may have been clubbed into unconsciousness by his violent wife, and are making sure that the media focuses not on her, but on what he did wrong.Police forces and prosecutors have become tools of the feminist movement, selectively targeting men for violence and statutory rape, while female abusers and rapists get off scot free. So Steve McNair is dead; Chris Brown and Dominic Carter have been dragged through the courts, berated by biased judges and by the feminist propaganda of the mainstream media; Kobe Bryant is framed, defamed and ripped off by an enterprising sex worker; Roman Polanski is pursued relentlessly into old age although he has paid off his underage sex partner many times, etc. etc., but Rihanna (who hit first), Elin, Marilyn (Carter), and hundreds of rapists like Debra LaFave are sitting pretty. Women have always been privileged in this society, but now they are being allowed to completely emasculate men.
pclayton
Poor babies.... All the men you mentioned were trying to bite off more than they, apparently, could chew. This is not about feminists, it's about philanderers, and the richer they are the more likely they are to be one. Get a grip. As you said, the story is not yet told.
Ankhorite
Polanski's victim was a thirteen-year-old child whom he admitted giving drugs and alcohol to before he raped and sodomized her.
That's not a "sex partner."
And no feminist supports domestic violence, no matter who the perpetrator and victim are.
Davidmichaelk
First of all, Betty Draper shot the birds last season. She also slept with a stranger at a bar LAST SEASON. Also, she dd not jet off to Reno with her "lover." She and Henry Francis never had sex. And it was nit "kids be damned." She was carrying her newborn on the plane, and her trusted housekeeper Carla was watching her remaining children.
Honestly, this is a good site with good ideas, but sometimes it's just so, amateur.
Decker
Rebecca Dana is saying things like this to be shocking. No one should be able to wrap stupidity like this in feminist psychobabble and I'm happy to see most commenters here are calling it what it is. You don't celebrate violence and viciousness. That' wrong. It's just wrong. This site reminds me of college newspapers, where kids say shocking things just to see how much they can get away with.
MTinMO
I have a real problem with Mrs. Woods being associated with women who "didn't stand by their man". While these other women had every right to act as they did and I applaud them for it, especially Mrs. Sanford, equating this incident with the other women's actions doesn't sit right with me. We are still unsure of the exact details of what transpired at the Woods home and do not know that Tiger Woods behaved in the same manner that the other husbands did. Frankly, it just doesn't seem as likely that he did. But no matter what he did, if she responded with a violent attack she was wrong. We can not on one hand say violence is not the answer when the violence is directed at women and then turn around and applaud if a woman uses violence toward her husband. We don't know the truth, but I am not ready to put her in the fighting back righteously category.
Barbara416
Sure, physical violence with or without a weapon is never acceptable behavior, but man, it's time to stand up!
Thank you.
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