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Call Girls Out-Class Mistresses
by Tracy Quan
Tracy Quan's latest novel is Diary of a Jetsetting Call Girl, set in Provence and praised in The Nation as a "deft account of occupational rigors and anxieties before the crash." Tracy's debut, Diary of a Manhattan Call Girl, and the sequel, Diary of a Married Call Girl, are international bestsellers. A regular columnist for The Guardian, she has written for many publications including Cosmopolitan, The Financial Times, and The New York Times.
Two more of Tiger Woods’ mistresses are talking to tabloids and Eliot Spitzer's girl Ashley Dupré is criticizing them for cashing in. Former call girl Tracy Quan on why prostitutes often act classier than mistresses once the cat's out of the bag.
Yesterday, Jamie Jungers became the fourth woman to be identified as an alleged member of what is starting to look like a Tiger Woods harem. But let's not confuse her with another of his self-proclaimed mistresses, Jaimee Grubbs.
It was Grubbs who last week found herself at the center of a media frenzy when she spoke out about being Woods' mistress, prompting an apology for "transgressions" from the golf star. Other women have been linked to Woods, as well—Rachel Uchitel, who abruptly canceled a press conference about the alleged affair, and Kalika Moquin, who apparently doesn't have time to discuss her private life with the public.
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But one woman who doesn't claim to have slept with the golf pro is call girl Ashley Dupré, who made headlines last year as the prostitute New York Governor Eliot Spitzer had been with as "Client #9." And yet she has some very compelling things to say about those who have. In Friday's New York Post, Ashley made clear that she's appalled at the way Woods' publicity-hungry concubines are selling their secrets to the tabloids. She lashed out at them for "taking money and gifts while seeing a high-powered celeb," then "blabbing all about it in exchange for money."
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• Complete coverage of the Tiger Woods scandal If you expect a married man's mistress to have better manners or ethics than a prostitute, simply because her heart or libido are involved, think again. Those very elements—love and lust—do not always lead to classy, mature behavior. Having a businesslike agenda from the start seems cold, but it results in a warmer ending.
Ashley has attacked the legal side of gold-digging in the past, without naming names. But she nailed it this week when she lambasted Grubbs and company for playing around with a wealthy married man, and then trading up for even more money by peddling their stories to the tabloids. Is Ashley out of line here? She's judging other women for doing something that prostitutes have also been known to do.
But here's the difference: prostitutes rarely engage in the type of behavior that Tiger's mistresses are engaging in now. Those prostitutes who blackmail and expose their clients are generally shunned by their peers, and rightly so. Unless a client has behaved badly or violently, his privacy is usually respected. This is a line that separates professionals from amateurs.
Jaimee Grubbs saved Tiger's voicemail messages and made them available to the media. A call girl, by contrast, is careful to remove the text messages from her cellphone, and even warns her customer when she thinks he's being too careless with his phone—as men are wont to be.
Also, unlike Grubbs, a pro doesn't have to be asked to anonymize her voicemail greeting, as Tiger apparently asked Grubbs to do in case his wife called her. For a call girl, sensitive to the etiquette of these situations, precautionary measures are second nature.
But Tiger, for reasons we can only begin to analyze, isn't turned on by safety and ethics, and who can blame him? Hanging out with sex workers isn't risky enough, from an emotional perspective—and professionals are unlikely to idolize him.
A mistress is fundamentally riskier than a call girl because her idea of one-upmanship is getting the man in trouble with his wife or primary partner, to break up his main relationship. This wasn't as likely in the good old days, when mistresses and prostitutes had more in common—but Jamie and Jaimee are modern women. These are not your grandfather's mistresses. That's why, perhaps, they feel entitled to sell their stories to the tabloids.
A call girl's idea of one-upmanship—which is far more beneficial to the men she sees—is being more discreet than the next girl. If she does a better job of protecting her customer's marriage than anyone else, that's a point of professional pride.
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Tracy Quan's latest novel is Diary of a Jetsetting Call Girl, set in Provence and praised in The Nation as a "deft account of occupational rigors and anxieties before the crash." Tracy's debut, Diary of a Manhattan Call Girl, and the sequel, Diary of a Married Call Girl, are international bestsellers. A regular columnist for The Guardian, she has written for many publications including Cosmopolitan, The Financial Times, and The New York Times.
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Tracy Quan's latest novel is Diary of a Jetsetting Call Girl, set in Provence and praised in The Nation as a "deft account of occupational rigors and anxieties before the crash." Tracy's debut, Diary of a Manhattan Call Girl, and the sequel, Diary of a Married Call Girl, are international bestsellers. A regular columnist for The Guardian, she has written for many publications including Cosmopolitan, The Financial Times, and The New York Times.
Spitzer's Madam Runs for Governor
Tracy Quan's latest novel is Diary of a Jetsetting Call Girl, set in Provence and praised in The Nation as a "deft account of occupational rigors and anxieties before the crash." Tracy's debut, Diary of a Manhattan Call Girl, and the sequel, Diary of a Married Call Girl, are international bestsellers. A regular columnist for The Guardian, she has written for many publications including Cosmopolitan, The Financial Times, and The New York Times.
hammer
So now we know all the paid whores and hookers Tiger had sex with won't tattle on his escapades. The four known skanks that have come forward look more whore-ish than that paid variety. What a $cumbag.
ohsure
These four are the "paid variety".
ohsure
These four girls are the "big mouth" variety. They are paid; don't you believe otherwise.
qazwsxl
When a man or woman chooses to step out of the boundaries in their marriage contract they should be ready to accept the crap that these women have given to Tiger Woods. It's very simple.
He thought his noteriety (and obvious "gifts") would protect him from this kind of fall out.
He is the Whore. The powerful and rich seem to think they are impervious to stuff like this happening. This is a lesson to anyone who strays.
If you play when you stray, be ready to pay!
Genni2002
Well put.
Particularly when you consider how competitive rich and famous atheletes are, one would think they, of all people, would know this kind of thing would piss-off the spouses. They sound stupider and stupider all the time.
pclayton
Don't get how one can think that the women blabbing about what they did and who they did it with are worse than the philandering, squeaky clean Mr. Woods is by being a serial cheat on his wife. It's okay to cheat but the cheater must not tell; who wrote those rules?
maluminse
Scumbag. You go that right. Even the Mrs. a price to stay married. A price for love? We all make mistakes "in good times and bad". Id call the wife a whore or even the mistresses but that would be a compliment. The mistress steals not just bedsheets but heart and soul. The pro sleeps with him and says goodbye. Theres no actual girlfriend situation. Far more honesty in the pro mode. Than to demand money to be quiet. Selling out, selling your character your confidence and what you pretended was true affection is the lowest.
pclayton
So, have sex with men but never expect anything and you are the "right" woman. You are a piece of work.
ortega
The LA madam, whose name I've luckyly forgotten, was once asked why young, handsome and rich men payed for sex.
Her response: they do not pay for the sex, they pay for the women leaving after.
RVGrandpa
Heidi Weiss (just helpin').
Danbury
Fleiss, actually.
Dracula
Interesting, and Tracy you are one damned good looking lady. I'd suggest Gilgamesh and the idea that whores are not bad.
ohsure
Nice try, Tracy. These women are call girls. Just because they aren't affiliated with an agency or service doesn't mean they aren't "hookin'"on the side.
Pupster
A bit harsh. Many people get starry-eyed in the face of celebrity. These girls look trashy and hard-faced, but I wouldn't be surprised if some were just young, naive, stupid with fantasies of marrying a world-famous billionaire.
Tiger, OTOH, knew exactly what he was doing, using these poor desperate star-struck girls for sex, with no intention of giving them anything more.
pclayton
Come on, these people are adults and should be expected to act like adults. They do not, therefore, enough with the sympathy for the po young hos. All are to blame in screwing up a marriage, a career and a reputation. The women's reputations don't matter because a whore by any other name is still a whore, meaning, she sleeps with men for money. Star struck? No, dollar struck.
Danbury
Because call girls and prostitutes are professionals, and discretion is perhaps the most important professional ethic in that profession.
Mistresses by their nature are opportunists and self-absorbed and also by their nature don't care who they hurt. They're in it for themselves.
The bigger irony is that all mistresses really are are unpaid prostitutes, so they're also kind of stupid.
srexley
"They're in it for themselves."
Not like Tiger (sarc). They are all the same, but Tiger is a better golfer and has more money. I will say that his 1st tournaments are going to be kind of embarrassing. He is a machine on the golf course. It will be interesting to see if he can block all this out and golf. My guess is that he can.
pclayton
It's ironic to talk about ethics when you are talking about hookers. All's fair in "love" and war.
Danbury
All a mistress is is an unpaid prostitute. Pros get paid with cold, hard cash. Mistresses get paid with phony professions of love and promises.
The pros are smarter.
camfield
Mistresses generally are not totally "unpaid". They often are "kept" to some extent--as well as the recipients of all manner of gifts or whatever. It would be interesting to have a look at Tiger's check stubs. But as he's already been identified as a liar and cheat, why bother?
And the press already has done its job of effectively tearing down another prominent individual, something that appeals to a generally have-not public.
Genni2002
This is degrading into a C-Street worthy circus, all of them prostitutes of a sort, selling one or another part of themselves.. Except for the hapless wifey, of course.
Pupster
Some of the "mistresses" have already confessed that Tiger was cheap and gave them nothing. One even said she never even got a meal, just used in a church parking lot.
Were these girls dumb? Yeah, and with hindsight, they would probably agree.
DakLak
..... (silence) .....
pclayton
You are so right. I think it's time to rest my case.
Truthmeister
Tracy is right on this one! People in the Sex Industry are often the most honest and straightforward humans you can find. At least they are not encumbered by the hypocracy and pretense often found in those who feel that they have most to hide.Tiger's Mistresses are several notches below those who are providing sex in an obvious and professional manner. At least they have ethics!
Truthmeister
sillylemur
Well, professionals will lose their future business if they talk. Mistresses are probably not thinking of future "business", and are acting more like someone divorcing or breaking up. No one go into personal relationships promising to never speak of that relationship later.
Professionals have already been paid, before sex. They also know that this is about paid sex, from the beginning. Mistresses think they are "special" and that their lover's marriage is not good/a sham, just as these men tell them it is.
Mistresses just wait longer for a pay out. Some never get it. All I see is that a mistress probably assumes there are feelings involved,a prostitute assumes there are not. Some mistresses get paid, most don't. All prostitutes get paid. A lot depends on how it all ends and how much the john/lover needs to hide his behavior.
henryviii
Why all this interest in someone else's sex life? Who cares? If you care, why do you care? Tiger and these ladies do the same stuff everyone does or should do. No one's business but theirs. And all this judgmentalism! It is totally appalling. Whether a woman takes money for sex or does it just for fun, so what. It's her business, no one else's. An speaking of judging, don't some of you recall that superb story from the Bible about Jesus and the woman taken in adultery? If we can believe the Holy Scripture, Jesus is alleged to have said, " I have no objection to your stoning this woman for having committed adultery. I ask only that the first amongst you who is without sin cast the first stone." So let's all sit back and relax and let others go about their sex lives without further comment.
BlueRidgeBystander
I agree. Somehow tales of adultery get the crowds going... at least when the "transgressor" is famous. Perhaps they are our modern day version of the scapegoat. We can all point there...
sillylemur
It is interesting because of the massive hypocrisy. If Tiger Woods had stayed single, or had only had one mistress, most people wouldn't have cared. Such a total double life is interesting, even if only from a psychological point-of-view. Why the hell would anyone choose to live that way?
It's also interesting because we all like to imagine just how bad "bad" can get. We're finding out now.
Chisolmtrail
" 'Ashley Dupre' has some very compelling things to say" ?
And why exactly did "Not her real name' recrawl out of the woodwork - to criticize others for - crawling out of the woodwork?
I say it was ironic but she wouldn't understand.
WaltB31
For all expressing outrage at Tiger,I agree what he did was not good. However, all relationships like this are "cash transactions". Do you seriously think Elin would have given him a second look if he was a car salesman, postal worker, waiter, or any other low to middle class occupation? All of these "mistresses" are in it for the money, period.
No one has clean hands in this. Frankly, Tracy's approach is the one that is most intellectually honest. Pay in advance. Money makes anyone look more attractive in this arena.
Real genuine women who are not out to get paid in a relationship are very few and far between. Whether its dinners every night, jewelry, etc, its about getting paid with a lot of today's women.
Tiger's mistake is thinking all these hangers on are not about the money, bottom line.
Truthmeister
Fully echo WaltB31's sentiment!
Why not be honest about it!
Truthmeister
Pupster
How do you know whom Elin would give "a second look"? Be careful, you're cynicism is showing. Did you get your heart broken by some heartless gold digger? Not all women are like that, you know. Maybe you're looking at the wrong type.
activeduty
Yes they are. Some just have much higger prices than others.
sillylemur
Activeduty, not all women are out for money any more than all men are pigs who think they can pay any woman for sex.
ponykeg
Whether or not she would have given him a second look, it is clear that she is now selling her "love" for more money by rewriting that prenup... a rose by any other name.
sillylemur
She isn't living with him anymore, so how do you know what she signed? If my husband had had ten women on the side, you can bet I'd take any extra money he offered so i could start a new life. Why not? He's worth billions. What he's offered her is nothing compared to what he has, and noting compared to the damage he's done to her.
She's not selling love or sex to him. Consider it hazard pay, especially considering he reportedly never wore condoms with all his women on the side.
djanimaequeen
"Real genuine women who are not out to get paid in a relationship are very few and far between. Whether its dinners every night, jewelry, etc, its about getting paid with a lot of today's women."
and with men it's all about getting laid. I agree that real genuine women are hard to find. They must be where all the real genuine men are.
The truth is that women use sex as a weapon because all too often men are thinking with the wrong head. Tiger's mistake was that he stepped out on his wife. But to hear you tell it, adultery is ok as long as you don't get caught. And it's a lack of genuine women that's the problem? I feel sorry for your wife.
sillylemur
So, you seem to be saying that women will only go out with you for money?
Georealist
It's an embarrassment to have to even respond under your post..you're a dweeb! It's irrelevant whether Elin would have married him if he was a postal worker!!?? The REAL question is WHY did he marry her?? She has respectability..her mother is a governor of a Swedish province..her father a diplomat..Woods pedigree is third rate. She is whiter than the Queen..aparently that's VERY important for this extremely skin conscious little pretender!
Also pal..tell us something we don't know..if that is possible..."they are in it for the money.." Duh
HollyK64
Love this article. You get to the heart of it. Ashley comes across as Queen Elizabeth in comparison to these four girls who are parasites looking to land a rich and famous host.
Glenda1976
Yeah, Ash called this one.
srexley
Just to play devil's advocate here. Lots of comments about the gals he has been with being parasites, worse than hookers, etc. I whole heartedly agree that their behavior is not too admirable. But how would a single guy react if a female superstar (Beyonce, Angelina, etc.) came on to them? I would say quite a few would be just as star struck and make the same bad decisions. I remember the Friends episode where they slected make believe "asterik" affairs where it would be allowable because of the star nature of their selections. I'm against the type of behavior being exposed in this seedy affair. But have never had to make the choice to skip the filght on Halle Berry's lear jet for a champagne flight to Paris as she was coming on to me.
Now if it ever does happen, I will try to be discreet.
The long and short of it is, Tiger's behavior is worse than the girls. He's the one that made a life long commitment. Not them.
WaltB31
I guess there is a double standard LOL!!! Guilty as charged!! If Halle Berry, Angelina Jolie, Julia Roberts, or Beyonce came on to me, would do it in a heartbeat!
Genni2002
Think you have said it right. I think we are more annoyed with ourselves because we thought he was someone really special, to emulate even. Instead he turns out to be a kind of a jerk and, horrors, a skankier, perhaps even more flawed (than one could imagine on his worst day!) person.
It is a big problem for him, he lost his little protect-o bubble of mystery and greatness.
maluminse
Tracy in more ways than one pros are better people than these mistresses. Its disgusting for a 'wife' to make your husband pay to stay. Its disgusting that these 'friends' are outing him or not outing him for pay. Selling your confidence or your 'love/loyalty' is disgusting. Selling your body and company for a short time is no different than a coal miner infecting his lungs with soot to put food on his families table. Its an honest days living and no one is harmed.
Its long overdue for sale of company to be legal.
sillylemur
Disgusting or not, none of this would have happened if Tiger hadn't lied and screwed around.
You are also forgetting these women weren't selling their bodies. They probably had feeling from this idiot & are now selling stories because they are angry that they weren't anything more to him than pieces of meat. Should they have known better? sure. But that doesn't mean they don't want to get something out of it all now that they see what a joke it all was to him.
pclayton
People are harmed when they pick up an STD from these working girls.
Leonia
With her usual clarity, Tracy Quan nails the distinction between amateur and professional behavior.
Sexyback
I agree you holier thans REALLY need to get over yourselves and if ANYBODY is being a 'hypocrite' it's you all!! This coming from the SAME people who glorify verrrry selazy Hollyweird celebrities who sleep around,date prostitutes,sleep with little girls,sleep with their OWN daughters,cheat with any and everything,marry women young enough to be their daughters or granddaughters,have babies out of wedlock,and jusr ooze perversion yet you all STILL treat them like gods. So don't try to act like 'polly and peter pureheart' NOW Arnold Scwrazagroper still got elected despite his sordid history of groping and grabbing women and how many COUNTLESS number of politicians sing a song of 'family values' while spending TAX DOLLARS on hookers and trips to visit their hookers yet you all STIll vote them in. Hypocrites judge your OWN actions before whining about Tiger's!!
Georealist
Are you simply stupid or on something..please elucidate...
Thank you.
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