“This is a shitty week,” offered Bill Maher at the top of Real Time Friday night. “The one bright spot I can find is Trump finally found some white people to fight with: Denmark. He’s fighting with Denmark, because you know this, he’s been wanting to buy Greenland. By the way, today Puerto Rico said, ‘You don’t take care of the islands you already have.’”
After a low blow against Melania Trump, and a jab about how Trump’s unhinged press conferences on the White House lawn are “brought to you by Adderall,” the HBO host addressed the death of billionaire David Koch, a man who spent his life—and a whole lot of his money—funding conservative causes, like climate-change denial.
“And now, some funeral news to report: Yesterday David Koch, of the zillionaire Koch brothers, died of prostate cancer. I guess I’m going to have to re-evaluate my low opinion of prostate cancer,” offered Maher. “He was 79, but his family says they wish he could live longer, but at least he lived long enough to see the Amazon catch fire.”
“Condolences poured in from all the politicians he owned, and mourners have been asked in lieu of flowers to just leave their car engines running. As for his remains, he’s been asked to be cremated and have his ashes blown into a child’s lungs,” added the comedian.
Then, the kicker: “Now, I know these may seem like harsh words and harsh jokes, and I’m sure I will be condemned for them on Fox News, which will portray Mr. Koch as a principled libertarian who believed in the free market. He and his brother have done more than anybody to fund climate-science deniers for decades, so fuck him. The Amazon is burning up. I’m glad he’s dead and I hope the end was painful.”