A very angry Chevy Chase left Community creator Dan Harmon an expletive-laden voicemail that hit the Internet over the weekend. From Mel Gibson’s sexist and racist tirade to Christian Bale’s meltdown on the set of Terminator: Salvation, here are some of the most over-the-top rants celebrities didn’t want you to hear.
Not since the third grade have we heard the word “stinko” used with as much vitriol as Community star Chevy Chase did in this voicemail, left for the show’s creator, Dan Harmon. Harmon, angry at Chase for allegedly walking off set during the filming of the third-season finale, reportedly encouraged those around him at the cast and crew’s wrap party to chant “Fuck you, Chevy Chase!”—right in front of Chase’s wife and daughter. Chase responded to the attack by outlining his grievances with the show’s boss in a voicemail: “You didn't give us a script to begin with, so nobody knew what the fuck was going on during the week. Second of all, your goddamn bad writing, shit stinko fuck, was an abomination; and your writing is getting worse, so suck my cock. I don’t get talked to like that by anybody, certainly not in front of my wife and daughter, you goddamn asshole; alcoholic, fat shit.” He then cast predictions about Harmon’s life expectancy: “You’re gonna live to be about 57, if you’re lucky, the way you eat ...” Chase dared the show’s creator to show the voicemail to anyone who thought Harmon’s stunt at the party was warranted—and from the sounds of several people’s laughter over the audio, Harmon apparently did just that. All this does not bode well for the character of Pierce Hawthorne—Chase has said that he “probably won’t be around that much longer.”
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Even given his warped standards of outrageousness, Charlie Sheen calling the mother of his children scurrilous names dropped jaws everywhere in 2008. Choice highlights from the leaked voicemails that Sheen left for Denise Richards include Sheen telling her, “I hope you rot in fucking hell. You’re a piece of shit fucking liar ... I hope I never talk to you again ... You’re a coward and a liar and a fucking n---er, all right, so fuck you.” Though the voicemails were recorded in 2005, it wasn’t until they leaked three years later that Sheen issued an apology (seemingly directed at everyone but Richards): “I deeply apologize by my choice of words to all I have obviously offended; especially to Tony Todd, an African-American, who was my best man at my first two weddings," Sheen wrote, then launched into a defense of sorts for his actions at the time: "And for the record, my children did not show up today for a custodial visit without explanation. So three and one-half years later, the reasons that caused the anger and frustration displayed on that voice mail continues to be manifested on a daily basis.”
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Mel Gibson is not a fan of breast implants. That much was made clear after a voicemail that he left for his former girlfriend (and mother of his daughter), Oksana Grigorieva, leaked in July 2010. In it he yells sexist and racist slurs at Grigorieva, and accuses her of dressing “like a Vegas whore” and lying to him about getting breast implants. “You go out in public and it’s a fucking embarrassment to me,” he ranted. “You look like a fucking bitch in heat and if you get raped by a pack of n---ers it’ll be your fault all right?” In another tape, Gibson can he heard threatening, “I am going to come and burn the fucking house down ... But you will blow me first.” Oksana allegedly taped the conversations as evidence to use in court—though she came away with a settlement of only $750,000 of the $15 million she had hoped for, plus the house Gibson had threatened to burn down.
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It was in 2007 that Alec Baldwin was largely hailed as the worst father in Hollywood for the shockingly abrasive voicemail he left for his 11-year-old daughter, Ireland, when she missed a scheduled phone call with him. “I’m leaving this message with you to tell you, you have insulted me for the last time,” Baldwin railed on. “You have insulted me. You don’t have the brains or the decency as a human being—I don’t give a damn that you’re 12 years old, 11 years old, or that you’re a child, or that your mother is a fucking pain in the ass who doesn’t care about what you do as far as I’m concerned. You have humiliated me for the last time with this phone ... You better be ready Friday, the 20th, to meet with me, so I’m gonna let you know just how I feel about what a rude little pig you really are. You are a rude, thoughtless little pig.” Father and daughter eventually made up, however, and he brought her along to the Screen Actors Guild Awards in 2009, where he won two awards and she looked decidedly un-piglike.
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Acting more like the explosive and deranged character he played in American Psycho than the hero he was supposed to portray while filming Terminator: Salvation, Christian Bale launched into a volcanic tirade at crew members when one apparently walked into his field of vision during filming. According to some who’ve done the math, Bale spits variations of the word “fuck” out 80 times in less than four minutes and, at the climax of the argument, sounds as if he actually is about to physically harm the hapless cinematographer who crossed his path. “I’m going to kick your fucking ass if you don’t shut up for a second!” Bale screams at the top of his lungs. At least three crew members are heard throughout the tape trying to appease the enraged actor who, in turn, calls everybody within earshot a “fucking amateur.”
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Bet you never heard Shaggy like this. Casey Kasem, perhaps best known for lending his voice to the sandwich-loving cartoon character in the original Scooby Doo, Where Are You? series, lost his cool on his popular American Top 40 radio show when forced to maneuver through an awkward segue from an upbeat song into a somber dedication for someone’s dead dog. “I want a goddamn concerted effort to come out of a record that isn’t a fucking up-tempo record every time I do a goddamn death dedication!” Kasem shouted, then transitioning at just the same volume into his next most important grievance: “Now, make it and I also wanna know what happened to the pictures I was supposed to see this week?!”
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Kanye West doesn’t think MTV is giving “a black man a chance.” The rapper was recorded backstage at the VMAs in 2007 having a meltdown over his performance venue (it took place at the Palms’ Hugh Hefner Sky Villa instead of the main stage) and his lack of wins, despite being nominated in five categories. “Fuck MTV!” West can be heard shouting on the tape. “Five nominations! Fucking lost to Black Eyed Peas last year, man! I’m never coming to MTV! Y’all find Britney! Get Britney! … Give a black man a chance, I’m trying hard, man! I’ve got the fucking No. 1 record!” Despite his vow never to return to MTV, we all know what happened two years later when a certain country star beat out West’s pal, Beyoncé, for the Best Female Video award.
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Anyone who still thinks of Michael Richards as the lovable, hapless Kramer on Seinfeld hasn’t seen this tape of the comedian going off on a heckler who objected to Richards’s overtly racist jokes. Richards was in the middle of telling a cringe-worthy lynching joke (“Throw his ass out! He’s a n---er! He’s a n---er! He’s a n---er, look there’s a n---er!” he screamed while mockingly pointing upward at an imaginary hanged person in a tree) when an audience member shouted, “That was uncalled for!” “It’s uncalled for you to interrupt my ass, you cheap motherfucker!” Richards responded, then launched into a direct argument with several audience members who, in turn, called him a “cracker ass” and hurled obscenities at him. The entire debacle ended with a portion of the audience walking out and Richards then walking off stage.
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In a fake mustache and with a naturally uncertain and cracking voice, Michael Cera probably is one of the least threatening actors out there, but that doesn’t mean he hasn’t got a good tirade in him—at least, that’s what he’d like you to think. “Leaked” footage of Cera going on an angry rant at his Youth in Revolt director and crew members shows the actor shuffling around, flustered, and shouting things like, “You’re amateurs! 100 percent of the crew is amateurs and if this movie’s worth watching, it’ll be a fucking miracle ‘cause it’ll be the first time in history that a movie made by amateurs was any good at all!” His overuse of the word “amateurs” may bring Christian Bale’s infamous Terminator-set rant to mind, which would make sense—the video of Cera’s “rant” was meant to spoof Bale’s outburst.
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