Stephen Colbert and his team were so eager to weigh in on President Donald Trump’s demand for a military parade that they put out the first ad promoting it a good six hours before the Late Show is set to air.
“It’s the first ever Macy’s Trumps-Giving Day Military Parade,” the patriotic commercial parody proclaims. “Join us as the streets of Washington, D.C. are filled with a thrilling display of authoritarian power.”
The ad also promises “a dancing Steven Seagal” and “things that go bang,” plus “the Trump Youth with their salute to the Golden One” and “Robert Mueller in a cage.”
Colbert's reaction is apparently not too different from the response Trump’s “marching orders” have received within the Pentagon. Defense Secretary James Mattis told reporters on Wednesday that they were “putting together some options” and would “send them up to the White House for decision,” though he did not seem all that excited about the prospect.
Fox News’ own national security correspondent Jennifer Griffin said multiple times on that network today that the idea was a met with a “collective eye roll” by military leaders. “Many fear that the U.S. will look like the dictators they scoff at around the world,” she explained.
Or, as Fox & Friends host Brian Kilmeade put it candidly this morning, "I don't know, it seems like a waste of money."
Later, during his monologue, Colbert continued to go in on “the Usain Bolt of stupid” and his “latest record-setting dumb” idea of holding a military parade. “Check your cards, who has Dictator Bingo?” the host asked. “I was close, I had rallies and attack the free press, I didn’t have military parade.”
“Here’s the thing,” he added, “traditionally America doesn’t do military parades. Normally, if you’re in a city with U.S. tanks rolling down the road, I wouldn’t bring the children.”
“When you have the most powerful military in the world, you don't need to show it off,” Colbert said.