PERPETUAL OUTRAGE

Fox News Loses It Over ‘Woke’ Superman Motto: They’re Telling Us ‘Not to Love Our Country!’

The conservative cable giant will simply never run out of goofy outrages du jour, it seems.

Another day, another trivial thing for Fox News to get performatively outraged about in its never-ending culture war.

A week after the network loudly complained about DC Comics making the current Superman character bisexual, several Fox News hosts on Monday freaked out over the—entirely fictional—superhero ditching the decades-old slogan “Truth, Justice and the American Way” and taking on a new motto.

Discussing the comic book publisher’s recent announcement that Superman’s new “mission statement” will now be “Truth, Justice and a Better Tomorrow,” the five-person panel of midday opinion show Outnumbered was in total agreement that this—the motto of a fictional comic book hero—was yet another example of “wokeness” gone too far.

“That is so weak and so woke,” exclaimed Jason Chaffetz, serving as the “one lucky guy” of the women-hosted show. “Look, it’s just validating why I was so into Aquaman versus Superman!”

After co-host Kayleigh McEnany also pointed out that the superhero had previously renounced his U.S citizenship in a 2011 comic book storyline, the show’s lead anchor Harris Faulkner insisted DC Comics is now urging fans to be anti-America.

“Look, I don’t think there’s any confusion here,” she declared. “We’re being told not to love our country, or at least it feels that way.”

Faulkner, who has been a frequent critic of so-called “cancel culture,” then hinted that perhaps a Superman boycott is in order.

“I guess Hollywood thinks they can do that,” she said. “They can. All we have to do is say, no thank you, and you do that with your money.”

McEnany agreed: “You do do that with your money!”

Reading the publisher’s statement that said the motto switch was to better reflect Superman’s continued “optimism” in an “evolving” world, McEnany groused that “apparently it’s not optimistic to say ‘the American way.’” Co-host Emily Compagno, meanwhile, further groused that they were “dismantling his ideology” while calling upon DC to not “destroy or destruct what was already there.”

“What’s the fun in that?” Faulkner reacted. “Then they can’t tell us we’re all wrong. Which I think is what the cancel culture and ‘woke’ folk are trying to do! They want to call us all wrong.”

Lisa “Kennedy” Montgomery wrapped up the segment by snarking that the new slogan actually reveals that Superman is now beholden to the Chinese.

“Well, now he’s the instrument of the Chinese Communist Party,” she concluded. “I think that’s what it’s all about. Just wearing down the edges so you can play these movies in China. They only have so many American movies they show every year. Any time they do something like this, it’s China pulling the strings.”

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Justin BaragonaSenior Media Reporter

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