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Fringe Factor: You’ll Be Forced to Be Gay, Too

It was a big week for gay rights—and opponents came out in full force. Also, abortion should be required for population control and Bush actually told the truth about that uranium.

Homosexuality: As Hazardous to Your Health as Trans Fats

The last time we devoted precious Fringe Factor space to Bryan Fischer, he was warning gay-fearing Americans that Hillary Clinton could become our first lesbian president. Now the American Family Association spokesman is back: cleverly comparing homosexuality to trans fats, which the U.S. Food and Drug Association just announced plans to ban. “They are convinced it is a hazard to human health, even though it makes your frosting taste better, your donuts taste better; it makes your crackers taste better,” Fischer said on his Christian radio show Focal Point this week. “If we were gonna take that same reasoning, we would ban homosexuality for the same reason… it is a hazard to human health.” Fischer’s statements were no doubt prompted by the news on ENDA, which “would provide special protections for people who engage in sexually aberrant behavior,” he explained. “They would have special protections in the law. You would be punished if you do not give them special treatment in the workplace. Not equal treatment, but special treatment.”

All Americans Will Be Forced to Be Gay

Fischer was hardly the only one warning about the dangers of banning sexual identity-based workplace discrimination this week. Conservative talk-show host Steve Deace asked guest Michael Peroutka, of the Institute on the Constitution, a conservative think tank, for his thoughts on “the single greatest threat to religious liberty.” Peroutka said he considered ENDA to be an unconstitutional attempt at “federalizing perversion.” In fact, he went on, it’s only a matter of time before the gay-rights movement’s “full blown agenda” results in everyone being forced into homosexuality. “There is no neutral ground. That’s a lie sold to you just to get you to go along with this particular accommodation or that particular accommodation,” he said. “There is going to be no place left to stand except, I guess, eventually they are going to force you to engage in the perversion, that’s where this goes.” 

‘Abortion Should Be Mandatory for About 30 Years’

Sex columnist and gay-rights activist Dan Savage gave a drastic endorsement for population control at a panel discussion on Christianity, marriage, and sex in Sydney on Monday. “There are too many goddamn people on the planet,” Savage said in response to the question of which “so-called dangerous idea” might have the greatest impact on the world. “You know, I’m pro-choice,” he continued. “I believe that women should have the right to control their bodies. Sometimes in my darker moments, I’m anti-choice. I think abortion should be mandatory for about 30 years.” 

The Kenyan President Jokes Never Get Old

Republican Rep. Owen Hills of Denver was speaking at the Denver County Republican Party’s First Friday Breakfast when he decided to make this gem of a joke about his experience working at a children’s charity in the slums of Nairobi. “You spend time out there [in a Kenyan slum] and little kids are running around barefoot in these kinds of streets and you ask them what they want to be. They want to be an astronaut, they want to be a physicist, a marine biologist, one kid even told me he wanted to be president of the United States,” said Hill, who hopes to unseat Democratic Senator Mark Udall in 2014 and has been endorsed by Ron Paul as “Exactly the kind of person Colorado and this country needs in the U.S. Senate.” He told the crowd, “I held back my snarky comment that said, ‘Well, you know what, we already have someone from Kenya as president of the United States.’” Wha-bam. You totally could have owned that poor Kenyan kid if you weren’t such a decent guy, Hill.

Saddam Really Did Buy Uranium From Niger

Republican Rep. Steve King, a Fringe Factor favorite, revealed this week that he still believes that Saddam Hussein bought uranium from Niger, despite Bush’s 2003 claim having long been denounced by his own administration. Apparently, King knows something everyone else doesn’t. “I have had hands-on evidence that what George Bush said in that State of the Union address was the truth and he was still punished for it,” King told Des Moines radio host Jan Mickelson. He failed to elaborate, unfortunately, on what this evidence was that he’s had his hands on.