I’m not saying that Kylie Jenner is Kim Kardashian and Kanye West’s surrogate. But I’m not not saying that.
The rollercoaster of Kardashian womb-related updates has yet to slow down. On Tuesday night, TMZ broke the news that Khloé Kardashian is three-months pregnant with her first child, courtesy of her boyfriend Tristan Thompson. This brings the current Kardashian fetus count up to three, since Kim and Kanye are allegedly expecting via a surrogate, and TMZ reported late last week that Kylie Jenner is with child.
In the wake of Jenner’s unexpected pregnancy news, some fans have begun to suspect that Jenner is actually carrying a child on behalf of her half-sister. As far as conspiracy theories go, this one ranks somewhere between the “faked” moon landing (probably not true) and irrepressible rumors that Blue Ivy is destined to become our Illuminati overlord (true). It’s primarily substantiated by the recent revelation that Jenner may actually be five months pregnant, not four months along as previously reported. That timeline sets Jenner up for a mid-January due date—which is exactly when Kim and Kanye’s surrogate is expected to deliver. Also, both Kimye and Kylie are reportedly having baby girls.
As a person whose professional workload is directly proportional to the number of living Kardashians roaming around Calabasas and shooting offensive Pepsi commercials at any given time, I would like to know if we will be welcoming one or two (or three?) Keeping Up With the Kardashians cast members come January.
On the surface, the question of whether Kylie Jenner is carrying Travis Scott’s first daughter or Kimye’s third kid might seem beside the point. But what this really boils down to is what kind of world you want to live in: a world in which Kylie Jenner gets impregnated by Travis Scott after one solid month of dating, or a world in which Kim Kardashian chooses her 20-year-old half-sister to bear and deliver her and Kanye West’s kid. I choose Yeezus’ immaculate conception.
Of course, there are a number of alternative facts that come into play here.
Back in June, TMZ reported that the Wests had hired a surrogate via an agency; for anyone who isn’t keeping up with the Kardashians’ gynecological health, Kim suffers from placenta accreta, a condition that can make pregnancy life-threatening for the mother. Enter the alleged surrogate, who is reportedly a San Diego woman in her late twenties. While gossip sites have divulged details about this mysterious maternal figure, no one knows her identity; most reports come from “sources” close to Kim or the family.
During last Sunday’s KUWTK 10-year anniversary special, Kim also explained the lengths she’s gone to to conceal a pregnancy in the past. According to her, she didn’t tell some immediate family members she was pregnant with North West for months. If the rumors are true, Kim’s uncharacteristic desire for prenatal privacy could explain why her “surrogate” Jenner didn’t share the news that she is expecting sooner (and why the Kardashians still haven’t confirmed the pregnancy).
Alternately, the Kardashians could be timing some huge revelation (like, say the identity of Kim’s surrogate) to ratchet up viewers for their anniversary special and upcoming season premiere.
And let’s talk about Season 14 of Keeping Up. Last season was reportedly about as popular as Rob Kardashian’s fashion socks, with only 1.5 million viewers an episode. Even exclusive footage chronicling Kim’s journey pre- and post-Paris robbery couldn’t get KUWTK back to its Kris Humphries era heyday. That being said, Keeping Up still has the power to generate international buzz. Who could forget Kim’s multi-platform takedown of Taylor Swift in summer 2016, when Kardashian and her team offered a comprehensive look at her side of the story on E! while simultaneously unleashing some very revealing in-studio footage on social media? Golden age of television, indeed.
A season premiere outing Kylie Jenner as Kim’s surrogate would “break the internet.” Yes, it sounds outlandish, even for a family that professionally monetizes their personal lives. But remember that Tyga left Blac Chyna for Kylie Jenner, and that Chyna in turn got impregnated by Kylie’s brother. In other words, things occasionally happen to the Kardashians that sound like outlandish plot turns on a soap opera—because the Kardashians are literally starring on their own ratings-starved reality TV show. Suspend your disbelief.
Both Kourtney Kardashian and Kris Jenner have offered their surrogacy services to Kim in the past. While we don’t have similar proof of Kylie stepping up to the pregnancy plate (and she appears to meet zero of these recommended surrogate criteria), we do know that Kylie and Kanye are close. The rapper even trusts the 20-year-old to model his beloved fashion line.
That Kanye sees Kylie as a kindred aesthetic spirit is, for me, the most convincing case for this surrogacy conspiracy theory. Kanye West is a self-appointed messiah—in what world would he entrust his progeny to some random lady in San Diego? Who but a Kardashian family member would be able to provide Kimye’s fetus with the sort of intrauterine luxury she deserves? And who better than Kylie Jenner to ensure that this baby is dressed in head to toe Yeezy from (womb) day one?
Of course, this is all just a conspiracy theory. The Kylie Jenner surrogacy fantasy is based entirely on coincidence and conjecture. Meanwhile, the real evidence—sources and reports, not to mention common sense—all indicate that Kim and Kanye really did hire an unknown woman to act as their surrogate. Still, given how much fun this theory is, it will take a bona fide pregnancy confirmation from the Kardashian camp to put rumors to rest once and for all.
No matter how this all turns out, Kardashian congratulations are in order for two more Kardashian kids, one made-for-TV baby—and a well-deserved ratings spike.