On Monday night, Jimmy Kimmel gleefully took aim at one of his favorite targets, Ted Cruz, the Republican senator from Texas who bent the knee to Donald Trump after he accused Cruz’s father of killing JFK and called his wife ugly.
You see, Cruz, who also helped spread the Big Lie that led to the Jan. 6 Capitol insurrection and tried to escape to the Four Seasons in Cancun when his home state was in the midst of a deadly weather crisis, has been angry-tweeting at the Sesame Street character Big Bird for tweeting that he’d been vaccinated.
“Speaking of blowhards picking fights, have you been following the Twitter feud between Ted Cruz and Big Bird?” asked Kimmel.
“After the FDA approved the vaccine for children ages 5 to 11, Big Bird tweeted, ‘I got the COVID-19 vaccine today!’—you know, Big Bird is, like, a 6-year-old—‘My wing is feeling a little sore, but it’ll give my body an extra protective boost that keeps me and others healthy,’” the host explained. “And Ted Cruz, who desperately just wants to be noticed, lashed out. He wrote, ‘Government propaganda… for your 5-year-old!’”
Yes, Ted Cruz, who is 50 years old, got all performatively worked up over a tweet from a kids’ show puppet.
“This is how they think: If the government says it, it’s propaganda. If Congress does it, it’s socialism. If the executive branch does it, it’s fascism. If the president says it, he’s a dictator. And if the media says it, it’s fake news. The elections are rigged. The deep state runs the world. And Big Bird is working for Merck now,” cracked Kimmel.
And then, the kicker: “It’s interesting because not only is Ted Cruz vaccinated himself, Ted Cruz was born with an immunity that protects him from contracting any friends. But the truth is, I think maybe Ted’s still sore about Big Bird’s most recent book: Big Bird Visits Cancun to Find Ted Cruz’s Balls. Spoiler alert: He never finds them.”