Khloé Kardashian has conquered a variety of frontiers, from revenge body diets to bestselling books to Twitter burns. Given her pioneering spirit, it was only a matter of time before the third Kardashian sister turned her efforts towards politics. While eschewing dairy and amassing receipts aren’t native talents to the political arena, Kardashian might just be the hero that this pussy-filled, tabloid-style election season deserves.
The controversy stems, like most Trump horror stories these days, from the set of The Apprentice. Or more specifically, Celebrity Apprentice—a B-list spinoff of Trump’s C-grade reality TV show. Kardashian starred on the series seven years and roughly two and a half makeovers ago, back when Kim Kardashian was famous for her sex tape and Kylie Jenner wasn’t famous for anything.
At the time, Trump claimed that he fired Khloé Kardashian because of a past DUI arrest, which is strange considering how cool and trendy DUIs were in 2009. Naturally, the idea of Donald Trump removing someone from a workplace environment due to a history of substance abuse felt a little far-fetched. It would make a lot more sense if Trump fired Kardashian because of something sexist and disgusting that had nothing to do with her performance in the competition. Which is exactly what he did.
According to an editor on Celebrity Apprentice, “He basically wanted to just get rid of her. He called her a ‘piglet.’” Another source corroborated these taunts, recalling Trump’s unabashed fat-shaming bile: “He said: ‘Why don’t we fire Khloé? She is a fat piglet. Why did we get the ugly Kardashian?’” A third source alleged that Trump’s system for evaluating his contestants wasn’t exactly based on their boardroom performances (gasp!): “When they fired [her], it wasn’t on merit,” they said. “It was on him not liking her.”
Nothing showcases Trump’s tremendous stamina quite like the consistency of his chauvinism and the never-ending stream of allegations against him. Sexism is a marathon, not a sprint, and Trump isn’t planning on slowing down as he approaches the finish line. So far, over ten women have accused the Republican presidential nominee of groping them or touching them without consent. Confirmed child Donald Trump responded by calling these allegations “outright lies,” even going so far as to insult his accusers and imply that he wouldn’t have wanted to sleep with them in the first place—because the only thing women like more than being grabbed by the pussy is being told that they’re too unattractive to be sexually violated. As female voters across the country deliberate between an immensely qualified woman and a walking rape trigger, Khloé Kardashian has lent her voice to the pissed-off masses.
Kardashian got her empowered entrepreneur on at a Monday press conference for her new denim line. When asked about Trump’s alleged badmouthing, Khloé’s calm attitude reflected the nationwide shortage of fucks left to give. “I didn’t think he was saying those things about me,” said the 32-year-old reality TV star. “But he says those comments about a lot of women—really derogatory things. Someone who is that simplistic to judge things off of surface is not someone I want running my country.”
“It’s not cool or appropriate for any person, male or female, to judge someone else by their looks,” she continued. “I find it really cruel. It’s wild.”
Time and time again, Kardashian has proven herself to be on the right side of Trump-related history. Despite her short Celebrity Apprentice stint, Khloé has long claimed that she “hated every minute of it” and was pressured into the gig by her long-suffering momager. This wouldn’t be a true Kardashian story if Kris Jenner wasn’t somehow thrown under the bus.
Unlike her sister Khloé, Kim Kardashian has reportedly been on the fence about the great Clinton-Trump non-debate of 2016. The Kardashian’s favorite daughter initially came out strong for Hillary, blessing the Democratic nominee with a glow-up courtesy of Kim’s beloved LuMee selfie case. Unfortunately, a casual selfie does not a presidential endorsement make. For a September cover story with Wonderland Magazine, Kim described the emotional rollercoaster of her evolving political affiliations, producing arguably the least relatable Kim Kardashian anecdote of all time. “At first I thought, ‘Oh my god, I’m so Hillary [Clinton],’ but I had a long political call with Caitlyn [Jenner] last night about why she’s voting Trump. I’m on the fence,” the reality TV star reportedly recalled.
While Kim’s surprising quote quickly made the internet rounds, it magically failed to appear in the published interview. In a follow-up post on her website, Mrs. West seemed determined to clear things up ASAP: “I stand with Hillary. I’m with her. I believe Hillary will best represent our country and is the most qualified for the job,” she wrote, in a semi-successful attempt to be excluded from this pro-Trump narrative. Unfortunately, unlike a Snap Story or a half-assed contour, a verified sound bite is forever.
While Kim was quick to squash controversy, Khloé emphasized that she’s proud to be a hyper-visible lightning rod for Trump’s vitriol. “I’m a tough cookie, so something that he said—that’s not gonna bother me,” she insisted. “If that’s what it takes to get even just this little group of people to realize how shady and bad and negative that one person is, I can take it.”
Through a single press conference, Khloé Kardashian proved that she’s the anti-Trump: a thick-skinned, surprisingly selfless, actually successful business woman. West-Kardashian 2020?