FTW

Melissa McCarthy’s Sean Spicer Rules SNL: ‘I Came Out Here to Punch You in the Face’

Melissa McCarthy came out of nowhere this week with the definitive impression of President Trump’s White House press secretary.

Saturday Night Live ventured outside of its main cast to find the perfect Bernie Sanders in Larry David. For Donald Trump, the show did the same with Alec Baldwin. And now, they have discovered the definitive Sean Spicer in the form of Melissa McCarthy.

With Baldwin set to host the show next Saturday, it was a bit surprising to see him open the show this week with a sketch that found his President Trump sharing the Oval Office with Steve Bannon, aka the Grim Reaper. But SNL saved its biggest guns for later in the night when they brought out McCarthy as Trump’s perpetually fired-up press secretary Spicer.

“Settle down! Settle down!” McCarthy’s Spicer had to yell repeatedly to get the live audience to stop applauding. “Before we begin, I know that myself and the press have gotten off to a rocky start,” she shouted. “In a sense, when I say rocky start, I mean it in the sense of Rocky the movie, because I came out here to punch you in the face! And also, I don’t talk so good.”

Spicer began by “apologizing on behalf of you, to me, for how you treated me in the last two weeks,” adding, “and that apology is not accepted. Because I’m not here to be your buddy. I’m here to swallow gum and I’m here to take names.”

He proceeded to share with the press the “alternative facts” about Trump’s Supreme Court announcement. “When he entered the room, the crowd greeted him with a standing ovation, which lasted a full 15 minutes,” he reported. “You can check the tape. Everyone was smiling. Everyone was happy. The men all had erections. And every single one of the women was ovulating left and right.”

Once Spicer started taking questions, he audibly booed the reporters after he called their names and said of Trump’s immigration ban, “The travel ban is not a ban, which makes it not a ban.” When the reporter pointed out that Trump himself called the action a “ban” on Twitter, he replied, “Yeah, exactly, you just said that. He’s quoting you. It’s your words. He’s using your words when you used the words and he uses them back, it’s circular using of the word and that’s from you.”

Later, he threatened to put the Wall Street Journal in a cage in the corner where CNN’s Jim Acosta was chained up in his underwear. And finally, answering a question about the White House’s statement on Holocaust Remembrance Day, Spicer started firing a water gun at the reporter. “This is soapy water and I’m washing that filthy lying mouth out!” he shouted.

“That’s enough for today! Spicy’s gotta go bye-bye right now, I need a big-boy nap,” he concluded. “I will be woken me up exactly one minute before tomorrow’s press conference, and live from New York it’s Saturday night!”