DOUBLE DOWN

Michelle Wolf: Bill Clinton Owes Monica Lewinsky an ‘Oral’ Apology

“If someone goes down on you, you go down on them,” the host declared this week on her Netflix talk show ‘The Break.’

Netflix

In honor of Bill Clinton’s latest apology tour, Michelle Wolf invited “Sexy Sax Man” Tim Cappello on her Netflix show The Break this week for a segment she’s calling “Saxophone Apologies.”

“People can debate what kind of apology Bill owes Monica, but one thing he owes her for sure: oral,” Wolf began. “If someone goes down on you, you go down on them. Standard double down rules.”

The host called Clinton’s lack of reciprocation “the most egregious thing he did,” adding, “This should have infuriated women. The connection is so clear to me. The enthusiasm a man shows for cunnilingus is directly proportional to his commitment to public service.”

Wolf went on to say that “all these news outlets that are currently criticizing Clinton for his role in the Lewinsky scandal” also owe the former White House intern an apology. “Oh, you’re on your high horse now,” she said, “but back then the Wall Street Journal called Monica a ‘little tart’ and The New York Times’ Maureen Dowd called Lewinsky a ‘ditzy, predatory’ intern who was ‘too tubby’ to be in the high school ‘in’ crowd.’”

“Jeez, do you guys write for a newspaper or Regina George?” Wolf asked, referring to the leader of the Mean Girls.

Instead of all that criticism, Wolf said that Lewinsky should have gotten “a thousand high-fives” because as “an intern at the White House who blew the president” she “did a great job.”