Seth Meyers has blamed President Donald Trump’s “oatmeal brain” for the chaotic state of the war in Iran.
“We’re now into week eight of the war with Iran,” the late-night host said, as he returned to screens after a three-week break.
“And we are still at the mercy of an oatmeal-brained 79-year-old megalomaniac who, based on his blue hand, has a slow-moving case of Violet Beauregarde Disease,” he continued, displaying a picture of the 79-year-old president’s bruised hand next to an image of Roald Dahl’s character from Willy Wonka & the Chocolate Factory.
“Is that how this ends? He doesn’t get impeached. He just blows up like a giant balloon and gets rolled away by the Oompa Loompas?”
Meyers said there was no way to predict what would happen next in the war. The ceasefire ends on Wednesday, and Iran shows little appetite for ending its nuclear program, as Trump has demanded.
“No one seems to know what’s going on or what’s going to happen next,” Meyers explained.
“By the time this airs, the Strait of Hormuz could be open, it could be closed. At this point, the Strait of Hormuz has more confusing hours than one of those pop-up restaurants that sell weird new foods for influencers to take pictures of...”
Meyers lambasted the president’s war strategy, declaring that, “In any 24-hour period, anything is possible.”
“We could have ground troops in Iran,” he continued. “We could have a peace deal. We could have U.S. Navy destroyers firing on Iranian gunboats, or Trump could be best friends with the Ayatollah. They could be trading insults on social media, or they could open a new neighborhood bar called Aya-Told-Ya-So!”
Meyers said Trump’s war is “a reminder as to why the Constitution gives Congress, and only Congress, the power to declare war.
“It’s supposed to be a sober, deliberative process. The administration is supposed to present a carefully considered strategic plan, and our representatives are supposed to discuss it and vote on it.”
“The Constitution says Congress shall have the power to declare war. It doesn’t say, ‘Refresh the president’s social media page every 30 seconds to see if he called the Ayatollah a b---h,’” he joked.
Vice President JD Vance will lead talks with Iran in Islamabad, Pakistan, on Tuesday, in an attempt to negotiate a way forward.
But uncertainty clouds the talks ahead of the scheduled end of a two-week ceasefire between the two countries.
Iranian officials have threatened to boycott the negotiations altogether following the U.S. seizure of a cargo vessel in the Strait of Hormuz.
Trump, during an interview with CNBC on Wednesday, said he had “all the time in the world” to end the war and warned people not to rush him.
“I want to make a great deal; we have all the time in the world,” Trump said.
“We’ve done a great job, and I don’t want to be rushed by people who are treasonous, as far as I’m concerned.”
He also claimed that he would have won the Vietnam War.
