Reality TV star Jessi Ngatikaura has never been shy about documenting her cosmetic procedures online. But her latest trip under the knife has the Secret Lives of Mormon Wives personality revealing that she wishes she had never touched her face.
The 33-year-old opened up on Friday in a raw TikTok video shared to her over a million followers, admitting she is “extremely unhappy with the results” of her most recent surgery.
The emotional post comes days before the next season of the hit Hulu reality series, which is set to release on March 12.
“Damn, I looked really good,” she said in the clip, recalling her thoughts after watching back the past season. “I wish I could have seen that.”
At one point in the video, the Utah-based hairstylist and “MomTok” influencer bluntly agreed with commenters who were criticizing her new appearance. “MomTok” is a Utah-based community of majority-Mormon moms who share stylized lifestyle content on TikTok.
“I look f—king hideous,” Ngatikaura said, explaining that her results are not what she expected.
Ngatikaura said she originally planned to undergo a lower blepharoplasty, a cosmetic procedure that removes or repositions fat beneath the eyes. But after consulting with her surgeon, she added several more procedures to the plan.
In addition to the lower eyelid surgery, she said she also had an upper blepharoplasty and fat transfers to her face and lips—a decision she now regrets.
“I wasn’t quite sure what I was getting into,” she admitted, saying she didn’t fully understand the scope of the procedures or the recovery process.
Months later, she says the results have left her struggling with persistent swelling and uneven features.
Her lips, she said, became “lumpy,” while one side of her face appeared to dip slightly.
In an attempt to fix the issue, Ngatikaura revealed she recently tried Kybella, an injectable treatment designed to dissolve fat in targeted areas. But she warned that correcting facial fat transfers can be difficult.
The reality star admitted the online reaction to her changing appearance has been particularly painful, given that her career depends heavily on her image.
“I’ve really been struggling,” she told viewers. “I genuinely feel like this last surgery ruined my life.”
As a reality television personality and beauty professional who frequently appears on camera, she said the backlash has been hard to ignore.
“My entire career is based on my image,” she explained, noting that filming, press interviews, and work appearances have become far more stressful as she deals with the fallout.
Ngatikaura has previously been open about the insecurities that drove her toward cosmetic procedures in the first place.
During earlier seasons of The Secret Lives of Mormon Wives, she discussed her struggles with self-confidence and the strain it placed on her marriage—particularly after Ngatikaura had an affair with Marciano Brunette of Vanderpump Villa.
Over the years, she has undergone a long list of procedures, including a $25,000 breast augmentation, labiaplasty, an alar base reduction to narrow the nose, and even a partial thyroid removal after fans noticed swelling in her neck and urged her to get it checked out.
She has also documented smaller in-office treatments, including an under-eye pinch procedure—a less invasive alternative to eyelid surgery—and CO₂ fractional laser treatments meant to improve skin texture.
Now, after what she describes as her most difficult recovery yet, Ngatikaura says she has finally realized the extent to which insecurity pushed her to keep altering her appearance.
“I went way too far because of those insecurities,” she said.
The ordeal, she added, has become the “biggest learning lesson” of her life.
And while she hasn’t ruled out cosmetic treatments entirely, Ngatikaura says she’s drawing a hard line moving forward.
No more touching her face—except, for a little Botox, she joked.
