You thought going to high school in the ’90s was rough? Try being an anthropomorphic teddy bear wished to life by a child.
That’s the gripe for Ted, the diminutive stuffy forced to accompany now-teenaged John Bennett through the halls of his Massachusetts high school—and all of the awkward adolescent milestones encountered along the way.
Ted is less of an emotional support toy for John than a wrecking ball of naughtiness and chaos, a dynamic we were first introduced to in the 2012 comedy Ted and its 2015 sequel, Ted 2. (Think more “boorish” than “precocious.”)
For fans of the franchise who may have wondered, “What was that incorrigibly horny, pot-addicted, foul-mouthed stuffed animal with clear attachment issues to Mark Wahlberg’s John like 30 years ago,” now there’s Ted, the TV series, whose second season starts streaming March 5.
You can imagine the influence the uncouth, often oblivious bear, voiced by Seth MacFarlane, is on impressionable John, played by Max Burkholder, in this prequel series. For the duo, there’s no such thing as toiling through the monotony of attending school, with daily life more of a fireworks show of coming-of-age hijinks, scored by a ticker tape of four-letter words and politically incorrect observations.
With more cringe-inducing (read: hilarious) calamities in store for Season 2, we connected with Ted himself. Yes, as in the bear.
We talked through how he’s adapting to TV stardom, what it’s been like to revisit those high school years from decades ago, his regrets, how he’s changed—or not—over the years, and what pop culture he himself is obsessed with now.
Were you nervous that your movie stardom wouldn’t translate to TV? What makes you excited that it worked and that there’s now a Season 2?
I was nervous, yes. But then I texted my good friend Blake Lively and found myself embroiled in a very public lawsuit. I shouldn’t have referred to Justin Baldoni as “Temu Aladdin”, but my attorneys feel confident in my case. And I’m looking forward to season two because “two” means poop.
You served as a sort of sherpa for John through important coming-of-age events like losing his virginity. What milestones does he need your guidance with next?
Divorce. With a repressed Mom and a rage-aholic Dad, his first marriage is going right down the toilet. I will be there to wipe.
In the Season 2 premiere, you and John rack up a $5,000 bill for your school by calling the adult line 1-900-1HOT-BUTT from a school phone. Was that fun in the moment, before the trouble started? Are there any hijinks you got into that you regret?
Oh yeah, it was fun. The woman we talked to was Latina, so it was sexy, but also like getting scolded. As for hijinks I regret, blasting Papa Don’t Preach outside that Planned Parenthood comes to mind. But I’m chuckling even as I say it, so scratch that. No regrets.
Do you think you were a good influence on John?
Whether I do or I don’t, the important thing is what Jesus thinks. Can you put that in? I’m really trying to bang this Christian chick.
What was the best part and the worst part of going to high school in the early ’90s? The best part was the music, and the worst part was the music.
What life lesson did you learn going through high school with John?
You can lead a horse to water, but you can’t make him drink. I got John a date with Hand Job Julie, who was famous for doing a certain act I can’t mention. He took her out for ice cream, and her hands got very cold. I’m told she couldn’t even find it.
Did going to high school with John give you any insight into ways the education system needed to be fixed?
School lunch pizza should be thinner. I’m confident that I would be swept into office on this platform. 8.) What would ’90s Ted have thought about the possibility that weed would one day be legal?
’90s Ted would scrape the bong with a paper clip, then smoke the resin in a cold garage. I think he’d be okay with not that plan.
9.) We see in the series that you were always pretty horny and foul-mouthed. Have you changed at all now that it’s 2026 and you’re older?
I slowed down during COVID. It’s really hard to make out in a mask. Oral is tricky, too, but that’s her problem.
Do you think there’s a limit to how many times the word “f---” can be used in an episode?
Yeah, it’s 37. Who’s the Boss really paved the way in that episode where Tony walks on hot coals in Hawaii.
Is there anything that we’re going to see unfold in Season 2 that you’re excited for us to see, or dreading us seeing?
No, not really. We’re like Stranger Things. Great Season 1, then diminishing returns.
We’re a site called Obsessed. What TV shows, movies, or celebrities are you obsessed with right now?
I like The Pitt. It’s been nice watching Noah Wyle blossom from a doctor to a doctor right before our very eyes.
Have you seen Heated Rivalry?
What do you mean by that question?! Of course I haven’t not seen it. And I wasn’t not confused about how it didn’t not make me feel.
(Editor’s note: A huge thanks to the writers of Ted Season 2 for channeling their titular creation for this interview.)
