This week:
- Give Timothée Chalamet that Oscar.
- A twist in the hot hockey show.
- A major realization about the Will Arnett movie.
- We need to talk about Melania.
- Forever a Posh Spice stan account.
Break Out Those Ping Pong Paddles
The experience of watching Marty Supreme is like being shot out of an electrified slingshot.
Once the movie starts, it’s a relentless and excitingly exhausting story of a sort-of grifter/sort-of prodigy weaseling his way out of a gauntlet of obstacles, misfortunes, bunglings, and hijinks on his way to his dream: if you believe it, becoming a ping pong superstar.
Yes, a movie about an ace table tennis player in 1952 is, somehow, the coolest movie of the year. It also should win Timothée Chalamet the Oscar he is so cringingly desperate for.
When I say coolest movie of the year, I mean it. Everyone in it is cool. (Gwyneth Paltrow returning to acting! Fran Drescher during peak The Nanny nostalgia! Tyler the Creator!) The filmmakers are as cool as it comes: Josh Safdie (Uncut Gems, Good Time) directs; A24 is the distributor. I felt cool while watching it. For this journalist typing while wearing his V-neck sweater from the J. Crew Factory purchased in 2013, that’s a Herculean task.
The real miracle, though, is that, at a time when Timothée Chalamet’s celebrity presence drives me up a wall, even he comes off as cool.
My thing with Timmy is that, my God, he is great at acting. Call Me By Your Name will forever be in my Top 10. Beautiful Boy wrecked me. His Bob Dylan was the first time in years that a biopic performance didn’t make me scream. But he’s so annoying.
He projects a performative version of coolness that to me is such loser behavior. (Shielding myself from the wrath of Club Chalamet.) His press interviews make me itchy. And, while there is something admirable about having self worth, his ego verges on entitlement, which I find so pretentious.
Case in point, following up his SAG Awards speech last year announcing himself on the “pursuit of greatness” to be alongside Marlon Brando, Michael Jordan, and Michael Phelps, he gave this oh-so humble statement when talking about Marty Supreme:
“This is probably my best performance. It’s been like seven, eight years that I’ve been handing in really, really committed, top-of-the-line performances. I don’t want people to take it for granted. This is really some top-level s--t.”
Thank you, Timmy, for the public service of making sure I have the fulfillment that comes from admiring your work.
But the thing is: He’s that good in Marty Supreme.
It’s a role that requires an intangible magnetism. He has to be both out-of-this-world charismatic, but also relatably pathetic, the kind of person you believe could achieve ridiculous dreams but also dread the crushing mundanity of his life if he doesn’t.
He’s not an Everyman, per se, but incredibly dorky. Yet that dorky somehow swings back around to be so sexy that a famous actress played by Gwyneth Paltrow will risk her marriage and her career to get eaten out by him in Central Park. (That happens.)
That a man who has the physique of a popsicle stick that someone drew a mustache on is considered this generation of movie stars’ biggest sex symbol is wild to me. And I guess touching, as a former child of beanpole nature whose t-shirt size was a youth large well into his twenties. But he pulls off a machismo in Marty Supreme that is so at odds with his appearance that it becomes exhilarating.
The film is an adrenaline rush. And the fact that it’s about ping pong? That’s, again, pretty cool.
Suddenly I Love Hockey
What if I told you that I cried while watching the new episode of the gay sex hockey show?
There was little actual sex this week in Heated Rivalry, the romance series that is heating up TV and turning everyone on social media feral. But there was unexpected emotion. And, as many know, there’s nothing quite like the surprise when something comes when you’re not yet ready for it.
There were two major moments that, as cheesy as this show is, kind of make a case for it being a late contender for one of the best TV episodes of the year. The first isn’t really a spoiler, so I’ll describe it: Shane Hollander (Hudson Williams), after a whirlwind of being the “it” celebrity couple while dating movie star Rose Landry (Sophie Nélisse), comes out for the first time.
Coming out scenes, in a beautiful way, have become so common in pop culture that we’re tired of them. (Progress!) But there’s something so beautiful and generous about how Rose introduces the conversation, and how she makes Shane feel comfortable enough to be candid with her.
Their relationship instantly transitions to best friends and confidantes, which is possibly more intimate and important than being lovers. It’s handled with so much kindness and, yet, believability—enough that it didn’t just feel like the idealistic version of that conversation, which it truly is, but something that so many gay men could recognize, if they’re lucky have actually experienced with the wonderful person who, not just made them feel safe, but was brave enough to kickstart and navigate the discussion.
The other scene that made me cry? That’s a spoiler. But I can’t remember the last time I felt my heart melting in real time in the way that it did while watching it. I am an emotionally thawed person right now. Go figure it took the hockey show set on ice to do it.
I’ve Seen This Before…
Is This Thing On? is the latest directorial project from Bradley Cooper, about a middle-aged businessman who, after separating from his wife, finds solace and a new perspective on life after trying out stand-up comedy.
My overall feeling about the movie is kind of like the main character Alex’s (Will Arnett) stand-up material: Like, it’s good and, sure, enjoyable, I guess.
But the thing that I can’t stop thinking about is how the movie is, to an almost baffling degree, the exact plot of Season 1 of The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel, but a sad, modern-day straight man replacing a spunky, 1950s housewife.
Once you clock it, it’s impossible to stop noticing it as the movie goes on. Does Amy Sherman-Palladino know this? Why is everyone not screaming about this?
The Disaster Movie to End All Disaster Movies
The trailer was just released for Melania, the new documentary directed by Brett Ratner, who the president of the United States, the first lady, and the White House is commissioning for his big comeback film after being accused of sexual misconduct by at least six women. Just figured that’s something to mention.
As for the trailer itself? It’s delightfully bizarre. Melania barely speaks, which, I guess, fair and accurate, and the only time she does is to admit that she didn’t watch some major speech that her husband gave. But I’m fascinated by the musical score, which indicates immediately: disaster movie.
I kept watching the clip waiting for a tidal wave to hit the White House, or for Melania to ask how long until the asteroid makes impact.
There’s also the obvious callback to the Devil Wears Prada trailer when Melania steps out of the car and all we see is her foot in a designer shoe. Can’t help but stan that.
This inevitable piece of cinematic buffoonery comes out Jan. 26.
Spice Up Your Life
Victoria Beckham admitting that none of the Spice Girls were “that great” at singing or dancing (but that they succeeded as a sum of their parts) is candid, hilarious, and, as a person of mediocre talent, quite inspiring.
More From The Daily Beast’s Obsessed
The star of TV’s buzziest show breaks down all the twists and turns. Read more.
Walton Goggins talks about his big White Lotus year and return to the apocalypse. Read more.
The scene from the new Knives Out movie that is wrecking everyone who watches. Read more.
What to watch this week:
Emily in Paris: It’s not high art. But that’s why we have the Louvre anyway. (Now on Netflix)
The Housemaid: Sydney Sweeney finally makes a good movie. (Now in theaters)
Fallout: This is the most entertaining sci-fi series on TV. (Now on Prime Video)
What to skip this week:
Avatar: Fire and Ash: A gazillion dollars and cutting-edge technology all for a giant snooze. (Now in theaters)
Stranger Things: I can’t believe they’re putting this out on Christmas Day. (Thurs. on Netflix)
