Blink-182 drummer Travis Barker said he remembers feeling suicidal after a 2008 plane crash that killed two of his friends.
The private jet, headed for California, burst into flames after a tire blew out. The Learjet 60 barreled through a South Carolina airport fence, crossed a highway and then exploded.
Barker’s personal assistant Chris Baker and bodyguard Che Still, were both killed, as were the two pilots.
The musician’s friend and collaborator Adam ‘DJ AM’ Goldstein was the only other survivor.
Goldstein, who was briefly engaged to actress Nicole Richie in 2005, died less than a year after the plane crash of an accidental drug overdose involving cocaine and medication he had been prescribed following the crash.
“After AM passed it was beyond difficult to relate to anybody. I really had no one, I would exhaust post-traumatic doctors and I would hit walls constantly,” Barker said.
“I definitely had feelings of survivor guilt, I was beating myself up, why am I here and everyone else isn’t? I had to believe I was still here for a reason.”
The now 50-year-old was also badly injured during the explosion, suffering third-degree burns that covered 65 percent of his body. He broke every one of his ribs and fractured his back in four places.
“I opened the emergency exit and jumped out right into the jet where all the fuel is, then my whole body caught fire,” Barker said. “I’m running and the fire won’t go out, I stop, drop and roll and AM came out and he patted my feet off fire. 10 seconds later the plane blows up.”
“I was suicidal in the hospital and I was there for another three and half months and had 27 surgeries,” he revealed.
In his new Hulu/Disney+ documentary, Louder Than Fear, the drummer confessed to begging friends to put him out of his misery and offering to give them money to do so.
Barker recalls having a weird feeling before the flight and talking to his father on the phone.
“I said, ‘if something happens make sure everything’s cool with the kids,’” the musician told his dad. “That was definitely emotional for whatever reason. I just said ‘I have a weird feeling.’”
He said the accident brought him closer to his father, whom he had a rocky relationship with growing up. Barker also credited his oldest children, whom he had with ex-wife Shanna Moakler—Landon and Alabama and stepdaughter Atiana—with helping him through his grief.
Barker married Kourtney Kardashian in 2022, with the couple having son Rocky in November 2023.
If you or a loved one is struggling with suicidal thoughts, please reach out to the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline by dialing or texting 988.
